British media launches massive attack on Portugal over McCanns

Funny story written by Noshing Mink

Friday, 7 September 2007

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British media circus

The tiny country of Portugal continued to suffer massive bombardment from the British media, incensed at the way in which British couple Gerry and Kate McCann are being treated by the police and newspapers there.

Reporters from Sky News and BBC News 24 were among the scrum that besieged the tiny police station in Portimao, where the British couple have been interviewed by the police. A reporter from Rupert Murdoch's evil Sky News said:

"We don't like the way these wops do business. Screw their legal system. We want all the evidence and we want it now."

A fellow reporter lobbed sarcasm and innuendo into the station, while outside, a BBC journalist spread confusion with inconsistent reports that the police had named Kate McCann as an official suspect, then that the police had announced there was a second suspect but refused to name that person. Truth and fair play suffered a battering when relatives of the couple were forcibly interviewed in England at the point of a microphone for ratings back home and understandably lashed out at the Portuguese police.

"This is not a media report", said a neutral CNN reporter. "It is a blood bath. The Portuguese have no chance."

The onslaught continued well into the evening, with a steady drip of questionable information coming from the British media, including a suggestion that Mrs McCann had been offered a reduced year prison sentence if she pleaded guilty to accidental death. During an interview of a Portuguese lawyer, a BBC reporter suggested that Mrs McCann would have to be brought before a judge within 48 hours. As the lawyer struggled to find the English words to deny this, since Mrs McCann had not been arrested, let alone charged, the sound was cut.

A female Portuguese news editor denied that there was any campaign among the media in Portugal to get Gerry and Kate McCann. No sooner had she said this than she was thanked and the interview terminated.

Sky News then brought in a big gun from the Metropolitan Police Force, namely a former detective, whose reason for leaving the force was never disclosed (and nor was his fee for appearing on Sky News), and who criticised his Portuguese counterparts for not revealing every bit of evidence to the media, as though this is done by the British police.

This reporter still remembers the reprehensible behaviour of the British police after the shocking killing of innocent Brazilian Jean Charles de Menezes at Stockwell Tube station, South London, on Friday 22 July 2005, when they refused to dispel untrue media allegations that the young man had behaved suspiciously, been carrying a bomb-sized rucksack and failed to respond to police requests for him to stop. The police officers involved were not disciplined but promoted and no prosecutions were brought.

This reporter says, Put aside crude British jingoism, let Portuguese justice run its course and leave the police alone!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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