Vanessa Hudgens and Zac Efron split over lesbian pics! Zac to Vanessa: 'How could you do that? Without me...there.'
Hollywood, California - Fulfilling both Disney executive's dreams in her hit role as a America's latest high school sweetheart in High School Musical 2 and simultaneously every teenaged boy and adult male secret sexual fantasy of having a hot...
Read full storyPesticides creating dangerous "Super Fly"
As scientists have long warned, constant overuse of insecticides and pesticides have finally created a "super fly" that is totally resistant to any attempts to eradicate them.
Read full storyBrazilianed Vanessa Hudgens screensaver 'like a gateway drug'
Cyberspace- (Barefaced Cheek & Ass Mess): A three-dimensional Brazilianed Vanessa Hudgens screensaver that has been downloaded over fifty million times has been likened to a gateway drug by a poll of users.
Read full storyChristian Scientist Still Waiting For God To Fill Cavity
Harriet Pritchard, a devout Christian Scientist, is still waiting for God to relieve her painful tooth decay. Followers of Christian Science, a religious teaching founded by Mary Baker Eddy in the 19th century, believe that all disorders and illnesse...
Read full storyThe collapse of liquidity: Are unethical mortgage brokers and poor stupid homebuyers really to blame or just convenient scapegoats?
Los Angeles, California - Just like deregulation of the utilities, so Enron could capitalize on lack of government oversight without producing anything except a clever underhanded way to turn a quick buck instead of providing a real service people co...
Read full storyAnt and Dec sacked over 'Soggy Biscuit' Scandal
Geordie Dwarfs Ant & Dec were sensationally fired last night after their latest TV stunt dramatically backfired.
Read full story62% of Americans find polls useless
A new Harris interactive poll shows that 62% of Americans have no use for polls in their lives.
Read full storyMarcel Marceau's Death the Mime of his Life
French Mime, Marcel Marceau passed away last night, his family revealed.
Read full storyDrugs Smuggler Hid Goods In Hair
International drugs smuggler Rud Gudd is in custody today after he was caught bringing large quantities of cocaine into Britain. The drug was hidden in the 35 year old Gudd's hair, where it was resembled nothing more than a chronic case of dandru...
Read full storyWelsh sheep farmers suspect Blue Balls link to Bluetongue outbreak
Cardiff, Wales - (Sheep Shaggers Mess): The Welsh Sheep Farmers Union has issued a plea for calm today amid a suspected outbreak of Bluetongue virus.
Read full storyBluetooth sues over Bluetongue slurs
Bellevue, Washington - (Cyberspace Mess): The Bluetooth Special Interest Group is suing the UK's Agriculture Ministry over reported slurs linking it to an outbreak of the mad cow disease-related bluetongue virus.
Read full storyThe Intelligence Highway
Controversial plans announced today by the Shadow Home Secretary, the Rt Hon David Davis MP, promised to establish what is being called the world's first "Intelligence Highway" on the motorway from Oxford to London.
Read full storySilent tributes pour in for Marceau
Paris, France - (Ass Mess): "There are no words to express my sadness at today's news," was Camille Marceau's website statement following the announcement that her octogenarian mime-artist father Marcel died at home in Paris last ni...
Read full storyScientists Discover The Grinch Was A Roswell Alien
Scientists at M.I.T. and Cal Tech have jointly discovered that The Grinch was a real being and was actually a Roswell type alien. Their five year study unearthed the fact that The Grinch was not really a creation from the mind of Theodore "Dr.
Read full storyBritain Sinks in Atlantic Storm
At four am yesterday morning five hundred miles of clear water lay between Ireland and mainland Europe. During the worst Atlantic storm for a century, England Scotland and Wales had sunk beneath the waves.
Read full storyGordon Brown gets a haircut - prelude to election or just personal care?
The Prime Minister's office has announced that Gordon Brown has had his hair cut. The famous fringe that adorned the right part of his forehead has gone, revealing even more head than before.
Read full storyPaddington Bear says he sold out
Beloved bear from Darkest Peru, Paddington Bear says that he was sold out by his creators to further the cause of Satan's recipe, Marmite.
Read full storyHealthy Children Are 'the Enemy' Says George Bush
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Healthy American children are 'the enemy' said President George Bush in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire.
Read full storySimon Cowell in "I'm Bigger Than John Lennon" Sensational Outburst
Diminutive high-waisted trouser-wearing pop Svengali, Simon Cowell, has stunned TV executives by claiming to be as big as John Lennon.
Read full storyMarcel Marceau Funeral Plans
I can exclusively reveal some of the preparations for the funeral service of the great French mime artist Marcel Marceau.
Read full storyAli G makes comeback as Boris Johnson
Londoners awoke to the news that Tory Mayoral candidate Boris Johnson isn't a real person but is a fictional character created by local funny-man Sacha Baron Cohen.
Read full storyChief Constable orders 50,000 'plastic bobbies'!
London (Phantom Press) - Our community correspondent has seen a secret document and apparently one Chief Constable is thinking of placing an order for 50,000 'plastic bobbies'.
Read full storyOlympic Torch Recalled
China, the host of the 2008 Summer Olympics, has announced that they are recalling the Olympic Torch due to some safety concerns.
Read full storyDiary Hopes Reach Million Dollar Mark
The Diary owner, who had her most inane thoughts scrutinized, publicised and rejected by Prosecutors in the Case of Disappearing Evidence, has now revealed she has been offered an undisclosed seven point figure for publication rights to what promises...
Read full storyMaureen "Marcia Brady" McCormick Reveals Lesbian Incest In New Tell All Book
When Jan Brady said "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia," it was not always to complain about her older sister; sometimes it was pillow talk. Seems "The Brady Bunch" household was not as squeaky clean and wholesome as viewers have been lead to believe over the...
Read full storyDead Man Wakes Up During Autopsy
Caracas, Venezuela (IP) - Nelson Mandela was declared dead by President George Bush and his body was sent to the morgue for an autopsy. He woke up during the procedure in terrible pain.
Read full storyIch Bin Ein Ebayer
San Bernadino, California (IP) - Ebay corporation spokespersons report that they are in the final phase of negotiation with business, religious, military, and government leaders in their effort to take over the world. It is believed that when we all...
Read full storyPeru Meteor Curing Diseases
Lima Beanea, Peru (IP) - Scientists studying the Peruvian meteor report that the meteor is curing the diseases of all who approach it. They now know exactly why the miracle cures are so effective.
Read full storyFlip This House Will Flip A House
San Antonio, Texas (IP) - Flip This House star Armando Longwood (his name in English) will flip a house next week on television. He has hired 1,471 husky hombres and two German Shepherds to get the job done. The dogs are there to keep order and enf...
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