Diary Hopes Reach Million Dollar Mark

Sunday, 23 September 2007

image for Diary Hopes Reach Million Dollar Mark
Innocent children playing with a ball

The Diary owner, who had her most inane thoughts scrutinized, publicised and rejected by Prosecutors in the Case of Disappearing Evidence, has now revealed she has been offered an undisclosed seven point figure for publication rights to what promises to be the a work that will outsell the Bible.

Entitled "The Horror! The Horror! Confessions of a Mother on the Brink" the publishers, Hammer Horror Pubs, say the book will thrill even the most insensate of horror fans.

The work will describe in morose detail the raw emotional flailing the writer had to endure daily to care for the three diabolical children that she so dearly wanted to have.

When we read about how the children devised manipulative 'blood curdling screams' to control the poor woman, things like crying, the contents of nappies and listening to what you child is saying will never be the same again.

But readers will be warned that if they are thinking about starting a family not to read the book - its the best case for staying infertile ever produced.

Yet despite the success promised by the book's sales, the author still cannot fathom why she spawned such children. She can only surmise, "something went wrong in the IVF process" so she may just sue them too!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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