Ron Paul? Might as well be Rue Paul
WILLIAMSBURG, KY- A recent survey conducted in the social epicenter of America, Williamsburg, Ky, reveals that most believe that Ron Paul is not a threat to any of the republican candidates.
Read full storyMortgage crisis worsening; Habitat for Humanity begins foreclosure proceedings for the first time ever
San Jose, California - Dispute having an interest free, $150, 000 30-year mortgage and investing 500 hours in "sweat equity" into their home and that of a neighbors as down payment for their modest town home (condo), Habitat for Humanity an...
Read full storyNHS announce plans to open first DIY Hospital
Sam Wickes the Government Junior Health Minister announced plans today Monday 29th October 2007 that the first DIY Hospital was to be built for the NHS Trust.
Read full storyExxon Mobil squirms, demands Corrupt Bastards' Supreme Court $2.5bn damages appeal backing
Washington DC - (Livid Mess): The Exxon Mobil Corporation's executive board is demanding Corrupt Bastards Club help in a DC Supreme Court appeal to overturn a $2.5 billion punitive damages fine for their reckless destruction of the marine ecosyst...
Read full storyMerrill Lynch CEO: $8 billion loss is peanuts
Off-the-Wall Street, NYC - (Bankrupcy Mess): "Eight billion down the pan? That's nuthin' compared to Ken Lay's $60 billion Enron losses and George W Bush's $3 trillion Iraq war hubris," beleaguered Merrill Lynch CEO Stan O&#...
Read full storyCalifornia Adventure gets One Billion Dollars for new controversial rides: "I-5 Fiery Tunnel of Death" and the "California Wildfire Adventure" ride
Anaheim, California - Disney executives confirmed today that they would be spending one billion dollars on the fairly new California Adventure, built in the parking lot adjacent to Disneyland in Anaheim, California. The amount is more than what it or...
Read full storyGordon Ramsay and Marco-Pierre White Fight Over Rat in Kitchen
Top UK chefs and sworn enemies Gordon Ramsay and Marco-Pierre White were today reported to be slugging it out again after they both made offers to top rat chef and star of the movie-documentary "Ratatouille."...
Read full storyFacebook considered "Gateway website" by scientists
Minsters today warned that it was reconsidering the decision to reclassify the social networking website 'Facebook' to grade C after scientists claimed to have evidence proving Facebook is in fact a 'gateway website' which can lead to...
Read full storyBeware the hex of Samhain Eve Saudi monarch told
Buckingham Palace - (Prophetic Mess): The three day state visit of Saudi Arabia's corpulent and badly hair-dyed King Abdullah is hexed by a Halloween curse that will bring down the Hellfire Club's Puppet Monarchy according to latest soothsayi...
Read full storyImmigrants to face English test so they can understand Jade Goody
Gordon Brown is expected to announce today that all skilled workers entering the UK will have to have the equivalent of at least a grade C standard in English language GCSE before they are to be allowed to work in the country.
Read full storyLewis Hamilton To 'Become Swiss'
Lewis Hamilton, the British Formula 1 racing driver who so narrowly threw away his chance of becoming the World Champion in his rookie year in Brazil, has declared his intention to become Swiss, it&#...
Read full storyIsraeli Prime Minister Announces Prostate Cancer
Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has announced to the world that he has prostate cancer, but revealed that his condition is not life threatening.
Read full storyPosh's New Do- Picture Victoria Beckhams New Hairstyle
Victoria Beckham was today reported to have dashed from the hairdressers to a waiting car with blacked out windows after setting fashion tongues wagging with yet another change of style.
Read full storySchwarzenegger Drugs Policy- Turns Over A New Leaf
California Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger has claimed that he didn't take drugs in the 70's as cannabis is not a drug-it's a leaf.
Read full storyFox News Reports Ron Paul Does Not Exist
Fox News has today released a stunning news report that reveals Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul does not exist.
Read full story"Possession is 9/10th's of the Law" Claims man Possessed by James Brown
A legal dispute is imminent between the State of California and a British upperclass man claiming to be possessed by the spirit of James Brown.
Read full storyArgentina elects hot babe
Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, the wife of Argentina's marginally corrupt president, Néstor Kirchner, looks set to become the first woman to be elected president of the country.
Read full storyEuropeans give boost to baseball
Dublin, Ireland - A new Europe wide survey has shown a growing interest amongst Europeans in the quintessentially American pastime of "Base Ball"...
Read full story'England In Need' Aid Appeal Gathers Momentum
A worldwide aid appeal has been launched to help millions of people in England who, through contributing to so many other worldwide aid appeals, charities and sponsored runs
Read full storyJenny Bigtits Sought By Spoof Police
Jenny Bigtits, the controversial, heavy-chested new mystery woman of The Spoof, is being sought by various members of the site police, in connection with various offences ranging from abuse and slander to more serious sexual...
Read full storySailor "Fired" from Attack Sub
A Royal Navy submariner was fired from a torpedo tube on the latest Hunter Killer Attack submarine HMS Astute, currently undergoing acceptance trials in a secret location. The unharmed but shaken Sailor was polishing the interior of the torpedo tub...
Read full storyPete Doherty writes book
Pete Doherty has done it again… escaped a jail sentence! 'Wildboy' Pete Doherty has just emerged from court today with yet another suspended sentence. The 28 year-old who already has 8 ASBOS is now holder of the world record...
Read full storyOwen Wilson Blames Suicide Attempt on the Other Guy Named 'Owen Wilson' during MySpace Interview
THE INTERNETS - Plugging their new movie ("The Darjeeling Limited") filmmaker and auteur, Wes Anderson, recently interviewed his friend, Owen Wilson, for MySpace.com.
Read full storyCayce Predicted Red Sox Would Win World Series In Four
VIRGINIA BEACH - From his deathbed on January 2nd, 1945, self-described psychic Edgar Cayce (rhymes with "Casey") actually predicted that the Boston Red Sox would sweep the World Series in four games -- against a team he called the 'Den...
Read full storyNot Opening Up Wide
o Hello, Rod. Last night, after work, on the coach, I met your wife.
Read full storyBritney Spears to Marry for Her Children: Short List Includes Prince Charles, Paul McCartney and The Pope
Culver City - In court today Britney Spears battled back in the custody hearing, claiming she deserves a 50/50 arrangement with her children, not 70/30 as her ex-husband has suggested.
Read full story9th Tier Presidential Candidate Ron Paul - Spoiler
"I've had it with that upstart Texas congressman, Ron Paul!" exclaimed a prominent CFR member. "This is not how we planned this election to play out. It is supposed to be a nail-biting battle between former mayor Rudy Giuliani and...
Read full storyFBI raids David Cooperfield's warehouse; searching for disappeared glaciers, icebergs and animal species in global warming hoax
Las Vegas, Nevada - Magic Man David Copperfield has built a career on making things disappear, everything from elephants, airplanes and even the Statue of Liberty. Well, now his liberty may be disappearing on him instead as the FBI and a grand jury c...
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