Culver City - In court today Britney Spears battled back in the custody hearing, claiming she deserves a 50/50 arrangement with her children, not 70/30 as her ex-husband has suggested.
Under advice from her mother, who has recently written a book a parenting, Lawyers for Spears claim she has tendered firm offers of matrimony from Prince Charles, Paul McCartney and The Pope.
Prince Charles is said to be arranging a hasty anullment, which is somewhat awkward given that it must come from the Vatican where it is rumoured the Pope may step down from his sacred vows to help the battered pop diva. Then there is Paul McCartney who is still working out the details of his divorce from Heather Mills, rumoured to be nearly complete.
"If it pleases your honor," said Spears, "I have several letters from my suitors to present to the court." Spears then carried a large mailbag of letters and handed them to one of the court aids. The judge then called for a recess to review the new information and possibly find a large paper shredder.
Spears did not talk to reporters after court, but did issue a statement. "To my darlings, Charles, Paul and His Holiness, your chivalry will not go unrewarded. I will make my decision soon."
Spears next comeback appearance is scheduled to be at the Macy's Thanks Giving Day parade.