9th Tier Presidential Candidate Ron Paul - Spoiler

Funny story written by Paulaholic

Monday, 29 October 2007

image for 9th Tier Presidential Candidate Ron Paul - Spoiler
A joyous Ron Paul

"I've had it with that upstart Texas congressman, Ron Paul!" exclaimed a prominent CFR member. "This is not how we planned this election to play out. It is supposed to be a nail-biting battle between former mayor Rudy Giuliani and Ms. Hillary."

"This Ron Paul dude is really getting on our nerves," confided another CFR globalist. "What the hell are his supporters giving him millions of dollars for? He can't stop our wars. This world is never going to know peace until people get it through their thick skulls that we are the deciders around here."

Ron Paul, the maverick Republican-Constitutional-Libertarian, is creating quite a stir in elite international circles with his quaint insistence on following the original intent of the United States Constitution. "Doesn't he realize it's just a goddamned piece of paper!" quipped George W. Bush.

Ron Paul's supporters don't seem to see it that way. Despite, for the most part, being educated in public schools, they actually believe that the enumerated rights in the Constitution and Bill of Rights are part of our God-given liberties.

Calming their fears, Mr. Walden W. O'Dell, chief executive of Diebold Inc. who supplies a substantial percentage of the country's voting machines, assured the gathered Military-Industrial complex executives that they had nothing to worry about. "Have we ever let you down in an election?" he asked. "Let congressman Paul gather and spend as much money as he can to your mainstream newspaper and media outlets. Pitting Paul against Hillary will make great political drama, give the masses the illusion that they have a choice, and will certainly make for a very tantalizing election cycle."

"But that's not the point," pouted a top political insider. "Ron Paul is spoiling EVERYTHING. Come election night, we were sure Hillary would take the bathing suit round. But when she and Rudy came out in contrasting, vintage Valentino gowns, it was going to be anybody's game. That's the kind of theatrics great political contests are made of."

When asked if he considers himself a spoiler, Ron Paul said, "I just want to get government off our backs. People should be free to live their lives as they think best. Politicians can't "improve" society without stealing from it's productive members. Politicians produce nothing of their own. Their "generosity" is conceived in theft, and nurtured in deceit. I just want people to live free. Our campaign is all about freedom, prosperity, and peace."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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