Fox News has today released a stunning news report that reveals Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul does not exist.
The report explains that brilliant Internet hackers, funded by al-Qaeda terrorists, totally fabricated Ron Paul the person in an attempt to undermine support for the war in Iraq, which the report indicated is on the imminent verge of "mission re-accomplished".
Public appearances by Paul were cleverly-orchestrated charades, staged using computer-generated holographic images and sound synthesis waveform samples of Ross Perot's voice with the southern drawl filtered out.
In related news, Fox News political analyst Sean Hannity has provided corrected post-debate poll numbers showing that with a statistical adjustment taking spamming into account, 100% of the debate viewers thought Ron Paul was a phony candidate.
