Written by Jesus Budda

Monday, 29 October 2007

image for "Possession is 9/10th's of the Law" Claims man Possessed by James Brown
I am James Brown. I am a Sex Machine.

A legal dispute is imminent between the State of California and a British upperclass man claiming to be possessed by the spirit of James Brown.

Elroy Scuttleburg III, has said that he is legally entitled to the entire estate of the dead soul man because he has been chosen as the "vessel" for the singers still living spirit.

"Possession is nine tenths of the law", said an agitated Mr Elroy yesterday, "that's what my dear Mater and Pater taught me growing up. And I am more than nine tenths of James Brown, by my reckoning. I am James Brown.Whayyyyowwww, getonuppp!"

California State Attorney, Dick Faeces, has stated that the man is mentally challenged and that the case should go no further. He has asked that Mr. Scuttleburg seek medical attention for his delusional displays.

But Mr. Scuttleburg has the backing of a number of witnesses who say that they have seen him acting exactly like James Brown and that the similarities are irrefutable.

"We all head down to Elroys' garage every evening for his show", said Barbara Dementiou, 68, "he is the living embodiment of James Brown. He walks, talks, jives and moves just like the Godfather of Soul".

"Elroy struts into the room with 'Sex Machine' playing on the jukebox in the corner beside the dryer. And for the next 90 minutes he performs an entire set exactly like Mr Brown would. As far as myself and ladies church congregation are concerned, Elroy IS James."

If the case goes to court and Elroy wins, he will become a multi-millionaire but may have to spend a quite considerable time in jail.

Attorney Dick Faeces explains: "James Brown had a number of outstanding convictions against him before he died for driving offenses and tax evasion. If Mr. Elroy is indeed possessed by Mr. Brown then he will have to serve 10 to 20 years hard time in a correctional facility."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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