Spambots Spam Ron Paul with Money
A global network of hacked PCs spammed Ron Paul's campaign with Money yesterday. The botnet managed to spew 4.2 million dollars to add to the coffers of the Ron Paul campaign. He may not be the leader of the free world, but a botnet may have som...
Read full storyRon Paul and Lou Dobbs win by a Landslide
It is the day after the U.S. Presidential elections and American politics have been turned upside down. The upset of both the Democratic and Republican partie candidates by Dr Ron Paul and Vice Presidential candidate Lou Dobbs winning by a landslide...
Read full storyObama does the "White Man Overbite" while dancing with DeGeneres on The Ellen Show; Millions left asking: "Just How White is He?"
Burbank, California - Not quite, the cool image of Blow Monkey Bill Clinton as Presidential candidate playing his saxophone while wearing shades on the then hot "Arsenio Hall Show". Instead, Obama's political campaign managers have gone...
Read full storyWorld's Computer Programmers to be Exiled to SecondLife
World Leaders today welcomed the United Nation's decision to exile anyone with even a vague interest in IT to permanent residency in the virtual online world of SecondLife.
Read full storyDoctor Hook Outraged At Ron Paul On The Cover Of The Rolling Stone
Although not actually on the cover (yet) of the Rolling Stone Magazine Ron Paul is getting the attention of political writer Tim Dickinson. While not a supporter of Dr Paul he seems to be coming around to that conclusion.
Read full storySuper Astronaut Goes on Cosmic Quest
Houston, NASA - According to official reports from Nasa, Astronaut Scott Parazynski successfully completed his repair of The International Space Station on Saturday without incident.
Read full storyAfrica Refinances
Yesterday, our financial ministers throughout the world decided to forgive the heavily indebted nations of Africa about 40 billion dollars owed to us rich countries.
Read full storyJesus wasn't son of God: Pope to quit
Pope Benedict XVI, supreme leader of the Catholic population of the world is to quit his position after finding out that the figure his religion is based on was a fake.
Read full storyQueen: Made to Read Insane Speech
The Queen today announced Gordon Brown's insane programme of measures for the new parliament.
Read full storyOprah orders cell phones, pepper spray and self-defense courses for all her girls at the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy
Johannesburg, South Africa - Now officially apart of their academic curriculum, the girls at Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy south of Johannesburg will have Oprah's personal phone number preprogrammed into their new cell phones, pepper spray and...
Read full storySquirrel causes power outrage in Juneau
Juneau, Alaska - (Ass Mess): A squirrel has been blamed for causing a power outrage in West Juneau, home of the notorious Corrupt Bastards Club.
Read full storyQueen dons horrid frock with furry sleeves for State Opening of Can of Worms
Palace of Westminster - (Sartorial Mess): Cynically dispensing with 1000 years of sartorial tradition the Puppet Monarch chose to wear a hideous off-white crimpelene dress with sleeves made of domestic cats' fur for today's State Opening of t...
Read full storyNorth Carolina Residents: Don't Use the Bathroom
Asheville, North Carolina (IP) - Governor Demsey Dumpster of North Carolina has ordered North Carolina residents not to use the bathroom.
Read full storyStock Market Up Fifty Percent in One Day
Port Au Prince (IP) - The stock market in Haiti went up 50% in one day from 5 to 10.
Read full storyManchester United Win The Space Race
Manchester United yesterday finalized a new sponsorship deal which will add financial security for the next twenty years.
Read full storyKing Tut Tutankhamun Real Name was Finootch
Cairo, Egypt (IP) - King Tut's real name has been discovered on a bracelet he wore around his wrist. Scientists have deciphered the letters on the bracelet and now know his whole name was King Tutankhamun Povenmire Finootch.
Read full storyComet Holmes has Second Comet Behind it
Mount Palomar, California (IP) - A second satellite comet has been found near the comet Holmes according to reports issued from the Mount Palomar Observatory Campus. Astronomer Dr. Povenmire Finootch has issued the name of Watson to the companion co...
Read full storyArrests of Bankers in Wanta Scandal Underway, Could Include Bush, Cheney, Clinton
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Arrests of bankers and senior US politicians due to the massive "Wantagate" scandal have finally begun, reports Worldreports.org.
Read full storyHow Copperfield Conceals Cloven Hoof and Mark of the Beast
This newspaper has bravely rescued a TOP SECRET document from David Copperfield's shows with precise details of how the magician conceals his CLOVEN HOOF from assistants he finds attractive.
Read full storyRon Paul Supporters To Media: "We Will Bury You"
In a grand moment reminiscent of the fabled words of Nikita Khrushchev over 30,000 online Ron Paul supporters, with middle fingers raised high, made actual contributions in excess of $4.2 million dollars in just one 24 hour period on November 5, 2007...
Read full storyPolice Foil Cake Bomb Plot
Sir Ian Blair the beleagured head of the Met was today hailing a major succcess in the counter terrorist effort after it was revealed that Police had foiled a major Al Qaeda cake bomb plot. This is good news for Blair who has faced c...
Read full storyWriters Strike Cripples Presidential Campaigns
As writers began walking the picket line on Monday, most of the news coverage was focused on Hollywood. But few immediately realized the devastating effect this strike would have on another area of American interest, Presidential politics.
Read full storyLos Angeles Police to be paid on Commission
Los Angeles Police Chief William Bratton announced today that he will be doing away with police officers salaries and they will be paid on a "per crime" basis from this day on. Bratton claims that this will encourage police to make more ar...
Read full storyUS Grips For Biggest Threat Yet - No TV
LOS ANGELES - The Writers Guild of America, the great minds behind such insightful television as America's Next Top Model and Fox News, have declared that a strike is imminent.
Read full storyRon Paul Got So Much Money Today
Every day and every time, at home-- Ron Paul gets the most money today, November 5th. Hillary gets less money today. November 5th, a long, long time ago, was the day Guy Fawkes was going to blow up the government. Ron Paul hit $4 million today and he...
Read full storyHurricane Noel goes missing in Bermuda Triangle
MIAMI, Florida - Hurricane Noel, the deadliest named storm of 2007, went missing Sunday in the Bermuda Triangle. The storm, which had left 120 people dead and thousands homeless in the Caribbean, headed north after leaving the Caribbean in chaos, rig...
Read full storyCampaign Replaces Statue of Liberty with Disrobing Ron Paul Girl
05 Nov 07, CLUTE, TX, USNA-- At midnight Eastern Standard Time, Ron Paul's campaign unveiled its November fundraising widget, which replaces last month's graphic of Miss Liberty with new footage of Miss Liv, the "Ron Paul girl". Ins...
Read full storyEx Boyfriend Successfully Snubbed
New York - Upper East Sider Laurie Crawford snubbed her ex boyfriend Kevin Donnally at her local bar on Friday night when he arrived for an after work pint.
Read full storyBush has ordered American Scientists to invent Flying Donkeys.
An aide (who has requested to be kept unidentified) from white house has disclosed that Mr. Bush has issued a presidential order No.0, to all Science and Research Centers in the United States, addressing Scientists to invent a 'Flying Donkey' to save gas.
Read full storyKatie Holmes makes a surprise run at the New York marathon but despite her best efforts she is still apprehended by her husband, Tom Cruise
New York, New York - Katie Holmes makes a surprise run at yesterdays New York marathon but she was later apprehended by her husband, Tom Cruise This is the second time she has tried to escape their marriage, but the first time she has attempted to do...
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