Ron Paul Got So Much Money Today

Funny story written by Kara

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

image for Ron Paul Got So Much Money Today
Ron Paul's money is for winning the election and he's using that money to buy NBC videos. I think I like this picture.

Every day and every time, at home-- Ron Paul gets the most money today, November 5th. Hillary gets less money today. November 5th, a long, long time ago, was the day Guy Fawkes was going to blow up the government. Ron Paul hit $4 million today and he'll buy a Nightly News video of him on TV shows.

Ron Paul hit $4 million today. That was pretty surprising, and both of Mom and Dad said "Yay!" They were so happy that Ron Paul hit $6,000,004 on his thermometer. (He got 4 million really, he got 6 million on his thermometer.) Ron Paul even got lots of money to win the election. Hillary got only five cents. She didn't get much money to win the election, she didn't get very much stuff. She might be the poor lady in the United States, because she doesn't have very much. Ron Paul has the most money of the day. He might be the richest man in Texas. Hillary got her money from Bill Clinton. Ron Paul got his money from supporters of him.

November 5th, Guy Fawkes said, "I want to blow up the IRS!" But he didn't blow up the government. He said, "I won't blow up the government. The government is pretty bad, so let's get rid of it. And let's get rid of the IRS." A few years ago, Guy Fawkes died. Then there was an interesting guy to vote for, just a few more years later, just as many as Ron Paul was born in. And when Ron Paul was 25, he was a doctor and delivered 4,000 babies, and now he's 72. People nicknamed him "Dr. No", because a lot of supporters said, "You're Dr. No." Ron Paul says the Constitution is good, as long as there are good rules in it. George W. Bush, the president who's running now, was saying maybe the law is a piece of blankety-blank paper.

Ron Paul wants to spend his money on TV shows. He puts them on NBC. They're Nightly News videos from YouTube, a funnier video than all of the other NBC videos. At the beginning the video is not all that funny. And when the video is getting funny, Ron Paul says, "Get back to the revolutionary times and pick up the pieces!" Then when it keeps getting funnier, when people scream "Ron Paul!" they're holding up signs. And the hat cam is funny, and Ron Paul's donor room is funny too. And then when the person who's talking about Ron Paul says, "Not just tapping into war fatigue," Ron Paul says, "It's time we come home!?!" And when Ron Paul lifts up his hands you can see how happy he is, and people are cheering for him. That's when the guy says, "The message of a Texas Congressman who's delivered more than 4,000 babies and voted against so many debates he's been nicknamed 'Dr. No'." The funnier part is when Ron Paul says, "We don't need to be dependent on the federal government, because it doesn't work! But I'm really saying 'yes' to that niceness going around everywhere." You might hear Ron Paul quietly saying "And a day--" He was going to say "to vote", but they didn't get his whole sentence in the part where he says it. They aren't letting him say the whole thing on the video.

And Ron Paul was talking on that NBC show we watched on TV, the Tonight Show. The beginning of the movie is when Jay Leno tells jokes, and at the end, he's talking to Ron Paul. And in a game, he tells jokes too, and if you can eat the Peeps in 15 seconds, that's what's in the game, and then there's more to the game. Jay was talking to someone who makes movies too, Tom Somebody, in the middle of the show. Then after Jay talked to Ron Paul there was a song. In the middle of the song, the person who was singing said, "Hello, Dr. Paul!" And Ron Paul started talking after Tom Somebody was talking. He said, "There's a risk I can win!"

-- By Kara, aged 4

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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