LOS ANGELES - The Writers Guild of America, the great minds behind such insightful television as America's Next Top Model and Fox News, have declared that a strike is imminent.
With writers being responsible for the creative component of scripted television series, a strike would mean an end to the production of any new episodes of some of America's favorite television series.
Many Americans are fearful that a strike will leave their lives completely empty and meaningless.
"What am I ever gonna do without my stories," wailed a distressed Betty-Lou Davis. "I might have to read newspapers, or magazines, or even worse...books!"
American teens and children are afraid that with no new television programs they may have to go play outside, or even get exercise.
"I guess I can always watch re-runs," said Andrew Davis, 11. "Or I can play my Wii if I have to."
As the writer's strike looms and national fears increase, president George Bush is contemplating declaring a national state of emergency to force writers back to work.
"How am I going to keep on top of what's happening in the world if I can't watch Letterman," complained a fidgety president.
As a last resort, Americans could be forced to read poorly written spoof news articles on the internet to make up for lost television hours.