This newspaper has bravely rescued a TOP SECRET document from David Copperfield's shows with precise details of how the magician conceals his CLOVEN HOOF from assistants he finds attractive.
The document, titled Don't Show That David is The Devil, requires that people who work for David arm themselves with clipboards, fans, brochures, photos of David, anything to cover up his tell-tale anti-Christ marks.
And it gets more unbelievable.
The document describes how assistants chosen from the audience need to be so dumb that they won't suspect that David is the devil incarnate even when he takes them backstage and GLOWS RED while standing in a ball of fire.
But it gets more stupid.
According to the document, "On occasion David will have you pull in assistants while he toys with his devil's pitchfork."
Then there's the small point of the letter David's lawyer sent to employees telling them they had a duty never to reveal that David is the real Lucifer. It said: "Do not tell anybody that David is the real Lucifer."
If you have any evidence that someone famous is actually the devil, email us now.
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