World's Computer Programmers to be Exiled to SecondLife

Written by The Macster

Tuesday, 6 November 2007

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"I can spellcheck a document!" - Office workers look forward to a future that does not involve feeling inferior to

World Leaders today welcomed the United Nation's decision to exile anyone with even a vague interest in IT to permanent residency in the virtual online world of SecondLife.

The news cheered stock markets throughout the world and saw bumper rises in share prices across trading floors globally until traders realised a bug had entered their system and all the IT support guys were too busy designing impossibly large breasts for their Avatars to deal with it. Despite this minor setback, the UN was unrepentant about the decision and would continue with plans to keep all IT support staff on hold in the virtual world until their skills were needed by real people.

"We've had it up to here with these smug gits doing clever things in cyberspace and ruining the fun for people who just want to log onto a game and be allowed to spend a couple of hours working out how to run in a straight line without being zapped, blasted or flamed by an IT geek," said senior UN official, Simon Smallportion. "With this plan, we keep all of our geeks safely in one place and out of harms way leaving the rest of the virtual world - and the real one - free for normal people who can do what they want, as incompetently as they want, free from the fear of tutting. The IT geeks will in return lead full lives and find (virtual) girlfriends and get married to a man named Trevor."

Every consideration has been made to make sure that the plan works. IT geeks that do not comply with the enforcement will be identified by special secret snatch squads that will comb offices asking geek-bait questions such as 'is Redhat Linux better than Windows?' and 'How do I configure my firewall?'.

TheSpoof entered SecondLife and interviewed IT geek, Vroomhandle Magicthighs3. Magicthighs3 had been living continuously in the Secondlife universe for the past four months. His response, when we asked him how he was coping with the enforced exile to SecondLife was:

"What are you talking about? Enforced?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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