CIA concerns at Bush fully armed with loaded weapon
Washington DC - (Sinister Press): Security service chiefs are increasingly worried that George W Bush is wandering round the White House fully armed with a loaded gun amid repeated Senate calls for the impeachment of his mobster attorney pal Alberto...
Read full storyBrand spanking new Airbus A380 stolen at Heathrow
The world's newest and largest commercial airliner, the A380 was stolen today during a stop over at Heathrow airport while under going a test flight from Toulouse.
Read full storyBecks in Trouble Again
It's a plane, it's a bird, it's an e-mail, it's an SMS - no..... oh no it's a CRISIS in the Becks household!...
Read full storyKamchuka Anyone
Adolph Bizmark Ceasar (Soldier of the Future Magazine) and Lou Dobbs (C.N.N. Immigration Nut) sat Down with North Korean Beloved Leader KIM JONG IL for a chat over the weekend.
Read full storyPelosi, Dems Demand Detroit Pullout
The statistics are in for 2006 and Detroit's homicide rate totaled 414 victims. The reports did not go unnoticed on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C.and some congressmen are alarmed and demanding that President Bush take immediate action. Nancy Pel...
Read full storySpring Break merchants make millions
Fort Lauderdale, Florida: City representatives report that this year's Spring Break was highly lucrative for roadside entrepreneurs. "Unfortunately, many of the sales were illegal," said counselwoman Goldie Saget.
Read full storyWho killed Bob Woolmer?
On 18 March 2007, Bob Woolmer was found unconscious in his hotel room in Kingston, Jamaica. He was confirmed dead at the nearby University Hospital. The Jamaican police announced on 21 March 2007 that the death was being treated as "suspicious". Now the big question, who killed Bob Woolmer?...
Read full storyGorintologists Deny Manipulating TheSpoof.com Ratings: Claim They Only Want To Stamp Out Articles Critical Of Their Religion.
A secret email obtained today by the prestigious TheSpoof.com reveals a shocking conspiracy involving members of the Church of Gorintology to successfully manipulated the ratings of articles published in the prestigious TheSp...
Read full storyIn a galaxy not so far away
National Aeronautics and Space Administration officials announced today that they have discovered an object rapidly approaching Earth that resembles a Death Star from the popular movie series Star Wars. They also reported several large triangular obj...
Read full storyCadbury's Give Away Crème Eggs To YouTube Users For Easter
This fantastic company has decided to let YouTube users make their own Crème Egg ad for nothing in a clear case of extreme generosity. Cadbury's have set up a YouTube subsection, Goof-off, for people to post their own ads for thi...
Read full storyOne in ten internet users a victim of fraud
London - (Ass Press): It's official: ten per cent of what you read online is pure, undiluted, fraudulent crap.
Read full storyDolly the sheep stolen
The stuffed remains of Dolly, the first mammal cloned from an adult cell in 1996, were stolen from the Royal Museum early Monday morning.
Read full storyBush Safe After Brush With Reality
WASHINGTON D.C. - President Bush was shaken but unharmed in a brush with reality this afternoon near the White House. Quick acting secret service agents were able to shield the President from the fast moving burst of truth and avert any injury.
Read full storyForget Palestinian suicide bombers, the crocs are comin' to get ya!
Gaza - (Suspicious Press): In what has been described by the US State Department as a highly sinister move, Palestinian terrists have dumped the suicide bomb as the radically chic weapon of choice in favor of a more ecologically friendly but equally...
Read full storyFrance to Change Name of Brittany Region
Due to Britney Spears' latest behavior, France has decided to change the name of its famous Brittany region.
Read full storyKerry Wood to Disabled List; Cubs GM Proclaims, 'Baseball Season is Here!'
With the news this week that Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood will begin the 2007 season on the disabled list, Cubs general manager Jim Hendry proclaimed at a special ceremony that, "Baseball season is officially here!"...
Read full storyWater Boarding For Karl Rove And Harriet Miers
Washington Toast - Frustrated by the White House insistence that it will not allow sworn testimony by Karl Rove and Harriet Miers, (maybe they don't want to be trapped up in an undertow of lies?) Senator Patrick Leahy, head of the Senate Judiciar...
Read full storyKaNeF Celebrates
The Infant State of KaNeF celebrated it's first Birthday in Grand Style last Night...
Read full storyDespite Britney Spears Successful Rehab, Humanity Still Full of Suffering
Britney Spears rehab has gone well, leaving thousands of people secretly a little disappointed that nothing went wrong.
Read full storyCrack-sharing deal for Northern Ireland
Soremount Castle - (Rotters): After years of relentless cocaine turf wars, mobsters on both sides of the Northern Ireland political divide have vowed to forget the past, bury the hatchet and merge into one amalgamated crack dealership from May 8th.
Read full storyBritney Spears has come out
Britney Spears is finally out of rehab, and returned to her first love - GIRLS. There has been much speculation about the true desires that plague Ms Spears. On her departure from rehab, she announced that she is coming out for good. On analysing t...
Read full storyFree McNuggets tonight for all residents of Riverside, California
Riverside, California - (Rotters): It's a classically astute business deal and legendarily typical of the entrepreneurial acumen of the McDonalds Corporation.
Read full storyRay Santilli supremely confident on Anna Nicole autopsy verdict
Florida - (ReUterus): A press statement issued by alien autopsy film maker Ray Santilli has said he is 'supremely confident' that his Anna Nicole Smith findings will be vindicated by Joshua Perpetrator, Broward County Medical Examiner.
Read full storyBrad's Kidnapping fears
Brad Pitt has foiled a kidnapping plot by a gang of desperate housewives. Pitt is reported to be quite distressed that Angelina is constantly in the limelight, and is being favoured due to her adoption franchise. He climbed on his bike and rode off...
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith Autopsy Points To Murder
MiAMI, FLORIDA--(RUMRZ) "Anna Nicole Smith was Murdered!", Admits Dr. Tim Bucktooth, Miami Dade County Coroner, at a news conference this morning. Shock and a new heightened interest was the reaction to the verdict being ha...
Read full storyIran: Finders Keepers Rule Over Sailors
Fifteen Royal Navy personnel captured on Friday, who were reportedly in Iranian waters are to be 'claimed' as property by the rogue country. The 'finders keepers' rule, often used in playground disputes has been draft...
Read full storyWhat does the Bible really mean to so-called religious people
THE HOLY BIBLE- MANUAL OR BOOK OF "JUST STUFF"...
Read full storyDear P4 Your Genitalia Merges with Delilah
Dear Paraphernalia4YourGenitalia. cum has merged with national late night DJ and sappy sentimentalist Delilah.
Read full storyAG Gonzalez Sent to Hell to Join Rove!
Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez has been sent to hell by the Senate sub-committee that recently exiled Bush's brain, Karl Rove to this same outer darkness.
Read full storyPrinceton Mathematicians Find X!
It took twenty years and enough computers to fill the Rose Bowl but Princeton mathematicians has announced this week in the Journal numb buzz that they have finally found the chronically missing variable X.
Read full storyIranian Navy Captures British Marines on board His ASS
Rear Admiral Commander of HSS ASS, Percival Persianolah flaunted his crew's capture of British marines who boarded the HSS ASS reportedly in search of Iran Nuclear weapons program.
Read full storyJiminy Brought in On Cricketeer Mystery
In the bizarre case of a possible act of foul play involving a leading coach in the otherwise civil world of cricket, Scotland Yard has decided to bring in Jiminy C their top investigator in insect related crimes.
Read full storyScientists To Invent Some New Things
A team of scientists - including a selection of boffins and eggheads - are to invent some totally new things by the year 8005. Amongst the things to be invented are a car which can run on used beard-clippings, a telescope able to see into the human m...
Read full storyNerd Sues World
In a recent development in the life of some random nerd, the human race is being put on trial for a sum of $5,000,000,000,000,000 for pain and suffering of the above stated nerd. This nerd's name is Lucasilism Szarkowsickle. Szarkowsickle claims...
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