It took twenty years and enough computers to fill the Rose Bowl but Princeton mathematicians has announced this week in the Journal numb buzz that they have finally found the chronically missing variable X.
Child Math Genius Villy Von Villi explained his motivation for dedicating the first five years of his life to the quest for X: "All I ever heard from within my mother's womb was the incessant cry "Find for X". My mom, a High school Math Teacher at St SP just kept saying this over and over six hours a day for nine months. Finally when I was born and turned out to a mathematics progeny I hitchhiked to Princeton and joined the team!"
Project director The Count who got his start in Math on PBS's Sesame Street described the breakthrough; "You vill neva belief it, ha, ha, ha!" He said in his now annoying but famous Transylvanian accent and vampiric laugh. "There X was all along right under our noses. Like Archimedes' Eureka, we found it in the bathtub! We looked at X-ratings, Brand-X products, even Malcolm X but all along the little bugger was hiing in our bathtub! It was the ring that threw us off"
The Nobel prize Mathematics Committee has announced that they will be studying this finding with interest
