Bush's broom broom bangs bystander's Bima
A vehicle in US President George W Bush's motorcade has been in a minor accident but no one was injured and Mr. Bush's car was not involved in the traffic accident...
Read full storyDartmouth College Faculty Demands Summary Executions of Men Accused of Hate Speech
Reacting to the drastic increase of male hate speech on the campus of Dartmouth College, the Faculty Senate passed a resolution unanimously demanding the administration immediately implement a policy of summary execution of any male accused of this c...
Read full storyBoston Red Sox Add New (Odd) Pitcher
Boston, MA-- The Boston Red Sox broke the color barrier, the gender barrier, and, well, any other barrier there might have been today with the signing of Charles.
Read full storyBritney Spears ordered to do "therapeutic" spring cleaning finds panties
Britney Spears on weekend leave from Malibu's Promises centre, the overnight detoxification clinic that the star checked into a little over a week ago, found her panties stuffed between the pillow cushions in back of her leather sofa. The pantie...
Read full storyIvy League Expands to Ten Schools: Admits Morgan State and Grambling State.
In a press release distributed earlier today by his Office, Jeff Orleans, Commissioner of the Ivy League, officially announced that the Ivy League would expand to ten teams by admitting Morgan State and Grambling State University.
Read full storyDruids banned from Primrose Hill Equinox rite after threats to burn Camilla effigy
London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Not content with having banned traditional bonfire night fireworks celebrations on North London's Primrose Hill five years ago on the spurious grounds of susceptibility to terrorism attacks, the Royal Parks Agency...
Read full storyWhite House "Silly" Says Snow
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have repeatedly said that "all options are on the table" in dealing with Iran. Recently, White House spokesman Tony Snow said that talk of invading Iran is "silly.&quo...
Read full storyExclusive - Leaked extracts from Alastair Campbell's Diary "The Dodgy Blair Years"
Day One: I wake up to the sound of a bell ringing in my ears, at first I think that it is the alarm clock, but the Tone is different, and then I assume that it is Rory Bremner doing a very bad impression. As I wake up a bit more, I realise that it is the telephone that is ringing. I answer it, you could have bowled me over with a cricket ball. It was none other than Tony Blair, the New Labour Prim...
Read full storyJohn Reid announces every day to be April Fools Day
I suppose that the next logical step after Tesco law, should be the introduction of Tesco jails. Local clinks are to be built on every street corner, to imprison for up to 4 hours, anyone found to be dropping litter or allowing their dogs to foul the...
Read full storyInventor Mugged
MARCEL ANDAONE, Inventor of the Drum Machine, was reportedly assaulted last night on First Avenue in New York City.
Read full storySolar eclipse heralds Vernal Equinox collapse of Bush Evil Empire
London - (Cosmic Press): Lo, the skies have long foretold what the Ancient Ones always held dear.
Read full storyLiverpool and Aston Villa Waste Ninety Minutes of Fans Life.
42,000 hardcore football fans wasted hard-earned-cash, and time they could have spent with loved ones, watching their heroes run around a bit this weekend.
Read full storyBlack Americans Smarter Then White Americans New Study Claims.
An article to be published today in the prestigious journal NATURE is sure to engender controversy with its claim that Black Americans are smarter that White Americans.
Read full storyDr. Suess finds death boring; resurrects to write new, Spring tale--Horton hears a Hoover
Theodor Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss was reported resurrected this spring and publishing his new tale, Horton hears a Hoover. Geisel, who died in 1991 of the degenerative word disease, palabramicrotosis still continues to rank as one of the most popu...
Read full storyHalo 3 Devs Murdered, Bungie Halts Production
Late Saturday night, at approximately 10 o'clock (17 March), three developers of the behemoth Halo franchise departed Bungie HQ in Kirkland, Washington (USA). Marcus Reign, Dominque Neovo, and Sam Kim were all long time employees of the Microsoft...
Read full storyKing David "embracing the suck" of spring cleaning
Satirist and humor writer, King David was reportedly "embracing the suck" of spring cleaning yesterday and vacuuming up all the leprechauns as they defiantly turned into dust balls for not being allowed to participate in yesterday's St.
Read full storyX-Rated, American Spread Eagle reports no de-icing problem in Northeast
The world's first topless airline, American Spread Eagle reported no problems today deicing during the storm which recently hit the Northeast. As hundreds of passengers were stranded for hours overnight on airliners that couldn't take off from John F...
Read full storyAnna Nicole Smith was murdered by MI6 - Mohammed Al Fayed claim
Harrod's boss Mohammed Al Fayed has accused the British intelligence service of murdering Anna Nicole Smith to prevent her becoming the future Queen Mother, following news that DNA evidence suggesting Prince William is the father of her child is...
Read full storyPrince William is father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby - DNA results
The results of DNA testing in the Bahamas will establish beyond any doubt that baby Dannielynn is the daughter of Prince William, putting Anna Nicole Smith's daughter second in line to the British throne.
Read full storyMexico Raid Turns Up $205 Million U.S. Cash
MEXICO CITY, MEXICO--(SPAHNISHNOOSE) More than $200 million in U.S. cash from rug producers in one of the cities glitziest colonias was found today making it the biggest cash bust in the countries history, except for yesterdays bust...
Read full storyBolivia Pressuring Coca-Cola to Change Name
LA PAZ -- Bolivian farmers, in an effort to reclaim part of their cultural heritage, are pressuring the Coca-Cola company to change its name. Coca leaves have been a part of Bolivian culture for more than 500 years. The plant has been used in relig...
Read full storyIllinois Governor Faces Problems With His Proposed $100 Bazillion Kagillion Tax Increase
Last week, Governor Blagojevich of Illinois proposed in his State of the State Address the biggest tax increase in the history of the world. But now, he is finding out that proposing the budget change is the easy part. Trying to get support for it...
Read full storyArea Man Doubles Car Value By Using Premium Gasoline
Seattle 3/12 - Local pizza delivery driver Trent Jones doubled the value of his 1988 Yugo when, through a mistake at the pump, he used premium gasoline to fill the tank.
Read full storyArea Cleavage Overcoming Agorophobia
Seattle: 9/25/06 - After years of being hidden away beneath oversized sweatshirts and blouses, the cleavage of local human resources director Lynette Bryant has recently made strides to overcome a fear of public exposure.
Read full storyArea Geek Thinks Erin Esurance is Totally Hot
Seattle 10/1 - Local geek and computer programmer Tommy Jameson admitted today that he believes that the most attractive woman on television is, in fact, the animated spokeswoman for Esurance.
Read full storyCate Blanchett won't tell Harrison Ford he's too old for Indiana Jones.
In the tradition of Rocky and Rambo, another ex-action star refuses to recognize that he's old.
Read full storyBush Announces End to War on Terror Thanks to Capture of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed
Now that the 9/11 Mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has been captured, President George W. Bush announced at a press conference that the world is now safe and secure and the war against terrorism has ended.
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