Britney Spears on weekend leave from Malibu's Promises centre, the overnight detoxification clinic that the star checked into a little over a week ago, found her panties stuffed between the pillow cushions in back of her leather sofa. The panties were wadded up and stuffed between the cushions as if someone didn't want them to be seen in public.
The starlet said that she had been looking for them for some time now and felt relieved to have found them. She didn't offer how they got there, but did comment:
"I don't know what the huff has been about these past three months. I simply could not find them, so I didn't wear any panties that night. What's the big deal?"
Critics say that after Spears moved out of the nice Malibu home that she and K-fed shared and renovated together things have been a little crazy. And since she moved into the new, vacuous $7.2 million Beverly Hills mansion, she has not been able to find anything.
"It's a wonder she can find her car keys," said home designer Martha Stewart. "That house is way too big for her and her two boys."
Apparently, the sprawling 15,000 sq. ft. mansion with six tennis courts is located on 5.5 acres in an exclusive gated community near Mulholland Drive.
Spears was attracted to the location because of, believe it or not, its privacy and proximity to Mel Gibson's home.
"I've always been a fan of Mels," said the grossly misunderstood and religious 33-year-old.
This weekend, Spears was ordered by therapists at Malibu's Promises centre to go home and do some "therapeutic" spring cleaning.
"We felt like it would be good for her," said therapist Naomi Seymour. "Cleaning and organizing has a positive affect on the mind. Besides, she's been drinking way too many Cokes lately and needs to ground herself again."
Others say that the starlet was just packing some things away to get ready to sell her mansion and move again.
Fans, friends and family back home in Louisiana say that the singer needs a little "Southern Comfort" and just needs to come home. Reporters didn't know how to interpret the statement, "Southern Comfort" whether it was a homey idiom conjuring images of care and a mother's love, or a drink to go with all that Coke.
"Being from Louisiana, we're thinking the latter," said satirist King David.
In any case, Britney has several more weeks before she will be allowed to leave the Promises centre in Malibu for any other ventures in the starlet's highly misunderstood life.
In other news today, the heads of six announcers sitting courtside and calling NCAA tournament action turned into basketballs.
