Theodor Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss was reported resurrected this spring and publishing his new tale, Horton hears a Hoover. Geisel, who died in 1991 of the degenerative word disease, palabramicrotosis still continues to rank as one of the most popular children's book authors in the world.
The famous author decided to come back from the grave not to haunt the publishing industry for publishing various and sundry titles such as: Walter the Farting Dog, The Boy Who Died From Eating All of His Vegetables, Dad's New Wife Robert and The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy, but to go on a new adventure. Reportedly, the incessantly rhyming and dexterous ADD author found death to be boring.
"I can't lay still that long," said the imaginative writer. "I tried to remain dead, but it's not in me. Besides, the left needs me to sue the right-wing pro-lifers who continue to use my phrase, 'a person is a person no matter how small.'"
In his new tale, Horton Hears a Hoover, the elephant, Horton must save a colony of dust balls which are actually a confederation of planets from being sucked up in a Hoover vacuum cleaner while people of the earth engage in spring cleaning.
The compunctious and awkwardly vigilant Horton must battle insurgents like Darth the Dust Mop, Cleo Clorox and Happy the Hoover in order to save the lost colonies. He must also convince the colonies to strike back by clogging noses, veins and electrical outlets blocking all power supplies to the death dealers (of dust).
Geisel became a household name in 1957 after publishing the Cat in the Hat to replace all the boring Dick and Jane readers. It is reported that he is also working on a book, The Pus Without Panties to encourage children to remain abstinent and wear fully protective panties pandering nothing to the public and inappropriately salacious and meddling journalists.
In the story, a young cat named Britney catches cold because she will not wear the panties that mother puss gave to her. Throughout the course of the story, the young cat develops cold sores all over her body which are highly infectious.
Eventually, no one wants to have anything to do with her. She must beg forgiveness from Achilles, the Blister God, Venus, Goddess of the human body, Filbertamous, the God of Pander and the Pander Police in order to keep from being locked up.
Hollywood movie rights to both Horton Hears a Hoover and Pus Without Panties are currently being negotiated.
In other news today, Britney Spears finds her panties while cleaning.
