Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road
VATICAN CITY, Rome - The Vatican has issued a translation from the Latin, to the Italian, to the English, of the document from the Pontifical Council for Migrants and Travelers, titled "Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Ro...
Read full storyPolice Promise Politer Pinching
A senior police officer has promised that his force will take a more considerate approach to the delicate issue of detaining terrorist suspects.
Read full storyJK Rowling Lawsuit over Rape Story
(Crappers) J.K. Rowling today filed a lawsuit on a story about a date Rape hint from The Onion. J.K. Rowling had stated that Harry Potter is a children's book and doesn't appreciate this story. The Onion fakes the voice of J.K. Rowling's...
Read full storyQueen "fears for her life now that Brown's in charge"
Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): Queen Elizabeth has told courtiers to change the locks, the safe combination and all the Palace phone numbers after fearing her days are numbered now that Gordon Brown's in charge of No 10 Drowning Street.
Read full storyWildfires: Mother Nature's Way of Moderating Overambitious Housing Market?
South Lake Tahoe, California (Reuterus) - Fire investigators may have discovered the cause of raging wildfires in the region and are warning the rest of the country to be prepared for the same.
Read full storyParis Hilton's ingrowing toenail was life-threatening: Sherrif Lee Baca
Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): SHerrif Lee Baca has told the press he released heiress Paris Hilton because her ingrowing toenail was clearly a life-threatening condition.
Read full storyTony Blair Arrested
Former Premier Tony Blair has been arrested on suspicion of selling his job as Prime Minister to his former Chancellor and party colleague Gordon Brown.
Read full storySchwarzenegger panic as porn star quizzed in cash-for-honours
London - (Ass Mess): California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has flown back to the US after a tense meeting in Downing Street with Tony Blair just as cash-for-honors cops arrested American porn star Courtney Coventry, 25.
Read full storyDick Cheney Hates Fish, Trees, Air, and Water
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - When law and science seemed to be on the side of the fish, then the vice president stepped in.
Read full storyParis Jail Sketch Worth $100,000
Beverly Hilton (Celebrity Juice) - Besotted Arab Sheik Ali Omar Barber Sheriff has offered to buy the prison sketch that Paris Hilton sent to TMZ's.com Harvey Levin for $100,000.
Read full storyScottish-American Earl of Stirling gets Cabinet seat
Scottish-American Earl of Stirling has confirmed that he is to be appointed Secretary of State for Human Rights in the new Brown Cabinet.
Read full storyGM Shifts to Manual Transmissions for Global Warming
Responding to growing concerns over global warming, General Motors (GM) announced today that it would make all of its vehicles with standard transmissions, starting in 2009. Manual transmissions generally get better fuel mileage than...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Shocker IQ--180!
(Hollywood--CA) In front of a gathering of reporters at the Regent-Beverly Wilshire hotel, Jessica Simpson calmly said: "I'm about to drop a bomb." After a second, there was a loud windbreak. "And now the news. I have a 180 I.Q.&q...
Read full storyWhat's Wrong with the Christian Right
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Earth - The so called "Christian Right" seems to be neither Christian nor Right. They lied about not knowing about Ron Paul, though evidence was found that clearly showed they had his name on their list. Isn't, "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour," one of the commandments they are supposed to keep? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe t...
Read full storyParis Hilton Gets Nod To Host "The Price Is Right"
(Los Angeles) - Retired host of the the popular game show, "The Price Is Right", Bob Barker, today endorsed his good friend, Paris Hilton, to be the new host of the daytime show.
Read full storyRushdie Honour Revealed as MI5 Plot
The controversial knighting of author Salman Rushdie in the Queen's Birthday Honours List has been revealed as a plot by MI5 to end the drain on public funds of protecting him.
Read full storyRadical Rosie Comes Out Again
New York (Lez Miserables) -- Rosie O'Donnell, using her daughter as a poster child, is coming out of the closet…AGAIN! Only this time it's no real shocker. She's admitting what conservatives neo and not have been saying e...
Read full storyMichael Moore Offers Free Health Care
(Hollywood) - Putting his fame and money where his big mouth is, the radical Hollywood documentary maker of "Sicko", Michael Moore, has donated all the profits from the film to establish a free medical clinic for people without health insur...
Read full storyLove-Hate Ballad
When I am with you the time just flies, I love you even though your hair are full of lice.
Read full storyMenopausal Old Dear Gets Her Groove Back!
It was a tragic day when Doris Jones, 78 found out she was going through menopause, ''Well it was a good few years ago now, viagra had just came on perscription and my Albert was having a few problems getting his old man up you see. So one night he came home with the viagra slapped my bottom and told me to get upstairs and get my blouse off.
Read full storyBush Sees God, Ends War
Last night, President Bush, fell asleep while watching 'The Three Stooges,' and had a dream concerning he and God that may just change the course of American history. George recounts the dream:...
Read full storyNicky Hilton up a Greek while Paris inside
Nicky Hilton and trillionaire boyfriend were whooping it up in olive land this week, while big sis Paris was still in the slammer.
Read full storyParis Hilton Does Rodney King Live!
Paris Hilton bounded on the small stage and flopped in a swivel chair in front of a 'stunned to hush-ness' audience; and an even more stunned Rodney King. Regaining his composure, the black (former cop beaten ex con) talk host blurted out, "What's...
Read full storyI Never Really Knew The Old Harry Potter
I never knew the old London, without it's giant ferris wheel, but I imagine it was lovely. But I wanted to tell you why I was here on assignment for TheSpoof.com, and that was to see my old friend Harry Potter.
Read full story"There's Somebody At The Door!" Rod Hull Speaks From The Grave
Deceased puppet master, wiry ginger bloke and children's entertainer Rod Hull has sensationally contacted Emu from beyond the grave.
Read full storyJames Bl(o)unt's Music Could Cure Brain Tumors
Osaka, Japan - Specialists have confirmed that the music of recording artist James Bl(o)unt just might cure brain tumors.
Read full storyEastEnders Sex Warnings Applauded By Young Viewers
An attempt by EastEnders producers to warn young people about the dangers of 'sex', was a success, says the BBC, with switchboards jammed and emails pouring in to its website.
Read full storyJFK and Castro Murder Plots Described in CIA "Jewel File"
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- The CIA has revealed that it arranged for the Mafia to murder Fidel Castro, and when that plot failed, for the same team to assassinate US President John F. Kennedy.
Read full storyVP Cheney Secedes, Relocates to Quebec
MONTREAL - Forming an unlikely alliance with the Bloc Québécois, US Vice President Dick Cheney has barricaded himself in a corner office of the party's headquarters with a large-caliber machine gun and a sandbag bunker.
Read full storyParis Hilton Looks Like She's Been to the Spa
Paris Hilton is recommending incarceration as an alternative to the traditional mud baths and massages of yesteryear. Paris looked the best she ever has leaving the correctional facility she was doing time in for 23 days.
Read full storyParis Hilton, Released from Jail, Vows to Do Good, Now Works for Ron Paul Revolution
CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Los Angeles - Paris Hilton was released from jail today, and she now says that she vows to do good. Her first act was to join the Ron Paul Revolution.
Read full storyVirginia's Governor and Attorney General Disturbed by 3% Acquittal Rate
Virginia's Governor Tim Kaine (Dem.) and Attorney General Bob McDonnell (Rep.) issued a rare joint statement today expressing concern over what they perceive as an alarmingly high rate of acquittal of persons charged with crimes in Virginia's...
Read full story'Old House' Nostalgia Growing in US
US and A - A recurrent trend has blanketed the nation overnight as historic preservationists have popped up like mushrooms everywhere.
Read full storyRon Paul Banned by Iowans for Tax Relief
DES MOINES (FMLiveWire) -- Iowans for Tax Relief (ITR) are holding a presidential debate June 30th in Des Moines and only one Republican candidate was not invited to the nationally televised debate, even though Congressman Ron Paul is the best frien...
Read full storyUSA Investigates British Corruption and Bribes
LONDON (FMLiveWire) -- BAE Systems shares plummeted on Tuesday after the British weapons maker was subpoenaed by the US Department of Justice seeking information on its billion dollar bribes behind its £43 billion contract to supply military equipmen...
Read full storyRon Paul Debates Himself Alone, and Wins!
Ron Paul, one of the second-tier Republican candidates for President, debated himself today in front of a packed audience in Stormville, Iowa. Internet polling showed Paul won the debate handily, with 97% of the votes cast in his fav...
Read full storyWiFi User Beaten by Police
A New York City man was beaten by police, when he refused to disconnect from a WiFi network he was using to surf the Internet.
Read full storyInflation Impacts Your Two Cents
(MUSICMAN PRESS) A study by Dr. Willis Wilbert Weevils, an economic professor at Princeton University, stated that the value of your two cents has increased. Your input was worth two cents for over a century. However, it has skyrocketed in the last d...
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