Written by S.S. Collins

Wednesday, 27 June 2007

image for WiFi User Beaten by Police

A New York City man was beaten by police, when he refused to disconnect from a WiFi network he was using to surf the Internet.

Roger Morgan of Hoboken, NJ was sitting in Washington Square Park, harmlessly surfing the Internet when he was approached by two New York City Policemen. The Police accused him of unlawfully stealing a private WiFi signal, and ordered him to cease his activity and disconnect from the wireless network.

Morgan, 28, insisted he was doing nothing wrong. He calmly explained that the network was not password protected and was configured for open access. The Police refused to relent their demands, and informed him that failure to disconnect would result in his arrest.

When Morgan asked the Police what law he was actually breaking, one of the cops apparently kicked his laptop screen from behind, attempting to forcefully close it. The act sent the computer crashing to the floor from the three-foot wall in which Morgan was sitting.

Enraged by the act, Morgan pushed one of the cops as he leaped towards his fallen laptop, which resulted in them beating him about the head and face, and stomping his groin.

Charged with assaulting an office, resisting arrest, as well as obstruction of justice, Morgan suffered a concussion, black eye, as well as other bruises and cuts during the beating. His laptop was damaged beyond repair and the police have refused to comment on the situation.

"This is insane" said Morgan from his hospital bed "the whole time I just kept thinking it was some sort of joke, until they started beating me." He joked that "perhaps he should not have bought an iMac" after all.

Alexander Callando, Morgan's lawyer said "My client was breaking no laws. This is a clear and offensive violation of his civil rites and the NYPD is going to pay plenty."

Callando went on to say that unless the network is protected with some sort of security, even a simple password, it is no different than sitting in the park and turning on your radio. "The police all over the country and stomping on ground they have no business being on, and they need to stop."

We couldn't agree more.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more