Written by Shaun Ferguson

Wednesday, 27 June 2007

image for Police Promise Politer Pinching
No more strong arm tactics

A senior police officer has promised that his force will take a more considerate approach to the delicate issue of detaining terrorist suspects.

The Deputy Chief Constable said he apologised "unreservedly" to people who have been woken up and pounced on in the early hours of the morning by a band of screaming coppers and has expressed his sympathy to neighbours and people who happen to be of the detainees ethnic group and who quite reasonably find his men to be "heavy handed".

He told "The Spoof" that from now on no arrests would be made before engraved invitations have been posted out, and the suspect's RSVP's will be properly respected.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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