Written by TomFoolery

Wednesday, 27 June 2007


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What's Behind YOUR Zipper??!!

New York (Lez Miserables) -- Rosie O'Donnell, using her daughter as a poster child, is coming out of the closet…AGAIN! Only this time it's no real shocker. She's admitting what conservatives neo and not have been saying ever since the rancorous rebel made her first political slur: Not only is she a mole for Al-Qaeda, but she's Osama bin Laden's older sister.

Poor Vivi, the O'D's adopted (thank God, poor little thing) 4-year-old daughter, has been thrust into the role of 'militant for mommy' to symbolize the threat her maternal unit poses not only to herself and her siblings, but to girly-spouse Kelli, the city of New York, America as a whole and the world as a hole.

Support groups from every quarter are lining up to weigh in and square off with what most rational human beings see as a multifarious travesty of astronomical proportions. First and foremost, child abuse seems to be the most urgent order of business. Apparently, her mouth is not the only thing ole Rosie is shooting off. Exposing the clueless child to guns and bullets is obviously only the tip of the iceberg. Odds are the tot doesn't even have a permit to carry the guns she's most likely being forced to tote to promote her mommy's madness.

Homeland Security officials are watching Rosie's roost closely for signs of terrorist tendencies. The obvious indoctrination inflicted on the defenseless daughter was enough to cause the FBI to place Rosie on America's Most Wanted list, right next to her blasphemous brother, Osama 'same mama' bin Laden himself.

Rosie is snubbing any and all attempts to determine the extent of her psychotic behavior. Child Protective Services have been unable to locate, much less extricate, the 'malicious moppet' from the clutches of her 'mommy queerest.' This is a serious situation. Even democrat presidential candidates hoping to capture the White House in 2008 have abandoned attempts to use Rosie's 'fame' to rocket themselves to political pedestalhood.

The uberdyke seems to have a thing for coming out…usually at the wrong place and the wrong time, but at least she's consistent. Next thing you know, she'll be coming out saying that she was actually born with a penis instead of a brain.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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