There were 115 spoof news stories published in June 2005. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Winnie the Pooh Comes Out of the Closet
(AP) Winnie the Pooh, that silly old bear, announced at a news conference in Toon Town that he is gay. The revelation, of course, drew no astonishment from those in attendance. The surprise, however, was reserved for the revelation of his lover...
Read full storyHershey's Returns Tastetations to Market; Supermarket Employees Gird for Battle
Hershey, PA--The giant candy maker Hershey's today returned the hard chocolate candy Tastetations to selected supermarkets and convenience stores, leading to mass stampedes, crushed toes, and slapped faces as dieting women battled grocery...
Read full storySearch Called Off for Missing American Teen In Aruba
ORANJESTAD, Aruba - The search for American teenager Aaron Dover was called off Friday in Aruba. Aaron Dover was reported missing Wednesday, June 15th, to Aruban authorities by his brother Ben. Ben claims he and his brother were returning from the be...
Read full storyBush to Seek Third Term
President George W. Bush announced today his intentions to seek a third term in office. When reminded that the 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution limits him to two terms, Bush had this to say:...
Read full storyCruise apologizes for Today show behavior - blames Ritalin dose
New York - Tom Cruise, who clashed with Today show host Matt Lauer on Friday when Lauer brought up Cruise's earlier criticism of Brook Shields for taking anti-depressants, issued an apology today for his belligerent behavior from Hollywood.
Read full story"Siamese" Twin Breasts Survive Separation Surgery
Hollywood, California - Conjoined twin breasts, known publicly as "The Girls" were successfully separated after nearly 12 hours of surgery, yesterday. The two breasts were said to have shared one nipple and mammary glands.
Read full storyDan Brown's next novel to focus on "gay" founding fathers
Philadelphia, PA -- Dan Brown, the controversial novelist that brought the world such blockbusters as The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, announced today that his latest novel will expose the "blatant homosexuality" practiced by th...
Read full storyJapan Sells Supersized "Blue Whale Burger," McDonald's to Follow
TOKYO (UPI)-In a move that has enraged environmentalists, a fast food chain in Japan has begun offering a supersized "Blue Whale Burger" even as anti-whaling nations urged Japan to cut back on its whale catch at an international conference on whaling...
Read full storyBob Dylan drops out, turns on, tunes in to Starbucks
Seattle, WA - Counter-culture icon Bob Dylan joined the ranks of other sixties-era sellouts today by agreeing to further the marketing agenda of mega-trendy four-dollar coffee retailer, Starbucks.
Read full storyPublic Outrage Kills KKK Detergent Ad
International fury has erupted after the airing of a TV commercial using the Ku Klux Klan to promote a new laundry detergent.
Read full storyJimmy Buffet Confesses, "It Was Right Here All Along"
Key West, FLA--Guru of Parrotheads around the globe, Jimmy Buffet, made a shocking confession regarding his signature song, Margaritaville. The confession has stunned fans, promoters and musicians alike.
Read full storyMiscommunications Mar Mubarak/Bush Dialog
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Bush urged Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak on Wednesday to show the world his country can set an example for others by holding free and fair presidential elections. "You first!" Mubarak responded after an ext...
Read full storyRepublicans See Anti-Bush Agenda in All Lucas Films
The recent release of "Star Wars; Revenge of the Sith" has been met with much protest by Republicans who see this as an attack on President Bush and the war in Iraq. In an interview conducted yesterday by 60 Minutes correspondent...
Read full storyCat Fax Fever
An assassination attempt, in the city of Kobe in Japan, was foiled recently by the quick actions of local police, fire, and animal control officials. It seems two small kittens, perhaps outraged by the commonplace use of cat meat in Japanese cuisine...
Read full storyRecent Earthquakes in California Rattle US Prestige
Four significant quakes have struck California within a week and have caused fears abroad and even triggered a tsunami warning when a 7.1 magnitude struck 90 miles off the coast. Many citizens fear that the recent quakes would foreshadow "The Big On...
Read full storyInternational Space Station Downgraded to Junk Status
CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) The space shuttle Discovery reluctantly returned to the launch pad for its first mission since the Columbia disaster, shooting for a July 13 lift-off date. But in an ominous foreshadowing, the journey from the assembly bu...
Read full storyOzzy Osbourne - Prince of Darkness? Really!
Darkness, England - Buckingham Palace announced today that Her Majesty, The Queen, has sought to bestow the title of "The Prince of Darkness" upon Mr. Ozzy Osbourne. Darkness , a small town 45kilometers south of London, is delighted by the prospect...
Read full storyG8 forgives Gordon Brown's credit card debt
London. The Group of Eight (G8) Finance ministers, after meeting for a second day in London, reached a tentative agreement to forgive 100% of the debt owed by 18 countries. They have also agreed in principle to forgive all credit card debt fo...
Read full storySandhurst stunt sparks security probe into Harry bomb scare
A bomb dropped when Prince Harry was lost in training for over 7 hours yesterday. The Sandhurst alarm bells started ringing after Harry did not return from a rough and tough 5 mile cross country course which would normally take the most able cadets a...
Read full storyBono Does Africa
"It will be the visible hand of the State that will finally alleviate the curse of poverty from the blighted continent of Africa" , remarked Bono, the lead singer of Irish rock band U2. "I have been assured by Gordon Brown - with w...
Read full storyRussell Crowe - It's Just Not Boxing!
After recently spending time with Aussie boxing champion, Kostya Tszyu, Australian Russell Crowe 41, was out to test the waters. When the telephone in his hotel room didn't work he approached the porter in the lobby. Russell did his best to provoke a...
Read full storyRepublican senators pass law forcing new trial for Michael Jackson
A group of Republican senators rushed to Washington in the middle of the night to pass emergency legislation to force a retrial in the recently concluded Michael Jackson child molestation case.
Read full storyFive year old Math Genius Still Too Stupid for College Level Calculus
Three times a week, at Demster University, a calculus class meets for lecture. It is early. 8:00 AM. For a college student, this is brutal. One hundred and fifty students enter the doors and take their seats. Most drink coffee to wake themselves up. Some listen to IPods. Others read the student paper or talk with friends. But one bright student, sitting in the front of class is drawing with his cr...
Read full storySchedule Revealed for "Who Wants To Be a Hilton?"
Network executives leaked to the press today the schedule for the upcoming reality series "Who Wants To Be a Hilton?" The show will star the mother of the famous Hilton sisters and will try to turn a group of middle, lower, and classless people into...
Read full storyPrince William - "I want to be King of People's Hearts. Yah?"
Prince William has spoken of his desire to make the monarchy relevant in the modern world. "We can't live in the past. The days are gone when the people of Britain would accept a king who is out of touch with them and the world. A modern monarch...
Read full storyA Tom Cruise Bride Born Today
The future Mrs. Tom Cruise in the year 2025 was born today in Amarillo, Texas. Twenty years from now, looking just as handsome and boyish with his 400 watt smile, trim body and shaved, checker board head (for a new film role) Tom will be expounding t...
Read full storyNational Debt reaches $7,826,689,777,692.15, Bush Plans National Debt Payment Plan
The national debt has been reported to be only $7,826,689,777,692.15 as of the 30th of June, 2005. That's only a couple trillion more than all others countries combined. So what does this mean? It means that, according to the estimated population her...
Read full story500 lb. Bigfoot Baby Spots Elvis in UFO
(AP) Reginald Toaster, the famous 500 pound baby (now aged 17) allegedly fathered by Bigfoot, reported to the Ft. Smith, Arkansas Police Department that he had seen the late Elvis Presley. "The King was dressed in his famous white jumpsuit. I done...
Read full story'Snooker Loopy' line-up reforms for Live 8
LONDON - Music fans across the globe were celebrating Monday, as Live 8 organisers revealed the legendary supergroup behind rock classic 'Snooker Loopy' had left old differences aside to lend their support to the mass free concert to help Afr...
Read full storyToyota aims to sell ‘helper' robots by 2010
TOKYO -- Toyota Motor Corp plans to start selling robots that can help look after elderly people or serve tea to guests by 2010, the Asahi daily reported on Tuesday. Dr. Tadamitsu Masaki of the Toyota Institute for Really Fun Projects (TIRFP) said t...
Read full storyNBC to Shoot Mormon Version of the Bachelor
In an effort to revive the once popular reality TV show, NBC has announced it will start shooting a brand new series of The Bachelor in Salt Lake City.
Read full storyCatholic Church Revives Inquisition, Seeks Interview With Dan Brown
THE VATICAN-In a move that has impressed observers with its new Conservative orientation, the Catholic Church under the new Pope Benedict XVl, the former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, has fully resurrected the medieval Holy Inquisition and assigned it t...
Read full storyTrue - but thats life !
This is absolutely true A couple of days ago, I was ripping Cd's to my PC Music Library. I used one of these programmes that let you put cd in slot, then they fill in all the details of artist, track title, etc, from their details to use in your music library.
Read full storyFerrari Announce Plans to Enter High Performance Wheelchair Market
The high-end Italian car manufacturer - Ferrari announced their plans to enter the wheelchair market at a press conference in Milan today. Market reaction to the announcement was mixed with the company's stock closing trading up a $1 - a one day...
Read full storyRunaway Bride Kidnapped (again), Community Apathetic
Duluth, GA - Jennifer Wilbanks, the woman who faked her own kidnapping in April to avoid her wedding, has disappeared from her suburban Atlanta home just one day before she was scheduled to appear in court.
Read full storyEurope engulfed in war after EU talks collapse.
Enraged at British Prime Minister Tony Blair's stance during last week's summit talks about the EU constitution, Germany lashed out by invading several European nations, and attacked London with wave after wave of propeller-driven bomber plan...
Read full storyFogle and Subway Split
Washington, WA. Jared Fogle, the international face of Subway, has parted company with his employers, according to reports. The acrimonious split first came to light when Fogle was spotted at a rival fast food 'restaurant' indulging in high...
Read full storyTo Hell With Energy Efficiency, Let's Party! Say Bush, Cheney
WASHINGTON, DC-American President George W. Bush has officially condemned energy efficiency and energy conservation as a way of revitalizing the U.S. economy, even as oil prices reach new highs.
Read full storyThe Latest Scoop on the Ice Cream Flavor Wars
Tired of being ignored, neglected and out-classed by more exotic alternatives, vanilla, chocolate and strawberry are determined to return to their former glory and melt the competition.
Read full storyOfficial News - Fox News Makes the News
BREAKING NEWS - NEWS BREAKING - Due to the lack of news in the world and the drab boring snippets that are being aired by the planets media channels Fox News have taken matters into their own hands and are trying to improve the quality of reports.
Read full storyUnited States Army Recruits Pee Wee Herman for Iraq
Washington (AP) -The United States army has proudly recruited Pee Wee Herman to beef up its flagging war effort in Iraq.
Read full storyFashion Police Issue Joint Warrant For Osama bin Laden's Arrest
The Fashion Police, in a joint effort with the Fun Police, have issued a warrant for Osama bin Laden's arrest after repeated violations, apparently caught on tape.
Read full storyN.O.W. Demands KFC Change the Menu
The National Organization of Women has issued demands that Kentucky Fried Chicken and the other chicken chain restaurants change the names of their menu items. Under the plan by N.O.W., customers would no longer purchase and eat breasts, thighs, and...
Read full storyFalling Indicators Narrowly Miss Greenspan
Alan Greenspan, Chairman of the Federal Reserve for Life, continues to be upbeat about the economy and is spear-heading a new campaign to return consumer confidence. Project, "So, You Think You've Got it Bad?" features chances to win free trip...
Read full storyWindows to be Sold Without Media Player
BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Microsoft will release a version of its Windows operating system without the Media Player application on June 15 to comply with European Union anti-monopoly rules, the company said on Wednesday. A spokesperson for Microsoft repo...
Read full storyFourth Little Piggy Sues Arby's
The fourth Little Piggy has filed a discrimination suit against the Arby's restaurant chain due to their refusal to serve him a roast beef sandwich. In a press conference his cousin's house made of bricks, the Pig said: "I was hungry and just wa...
Read full storyWimbledon: Henman confident of defeat
London. 2nd June. With just under three weeks to go until the start of Wimbledon, Tim Henman has said he's confident of repeating his past performances of woeful inadequacy. Fresh from romping home to defeat at the French Open last week the Brit...
Read full storyC.D.C. Determines that Laboratories Cause Cancer in Rats
The Centers for Disease Control, in a joint study with the Food and Drug Administration, the Mayo Clinic, and Johns Hopkins University announced today that laboratories cause cancer in expiremenatal test rodent subjects.
Read full storyQueen to watch Prince William collect university degree in the geography of Eigg
Eigg is the second largest of ‘The Small Isles' and is located in the zone between the Isle of Skye to the north and the Ardamurchan peninsula to the south. Eigg, at some 8km by 6km is more than large enough for its 60 inhabitants.
Read full storyCIA chief has 'excellent idea' where bin Laden is hiding
Washington, DC - Porter Goss, the recently appointed director of the CIA says he has an "excellent idea" as to the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden. In an interview with TIME magazine, Goss repeatedly made this claim but claimed that capturing the al...
Read full storyGeorge Romero Scheduled for Express Elevator to Oblivion
(Hollywood)--Anyone who doesn't know who George Romero is has either been living under a rock or else is one of the Undead this director used to create his…um…moderately successful "Zombie" franchise. After his release of the cult classic "...
Read full storyAhmadinejad says Iran has needs, too
Tehran-The surprise victory of the arch-conservative religious hard-liner Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to the Presidency in Iran has given pause to Middle Eastern scholars the world-over, and in Washington especially.
Read full storyNothing's On The Menu: No-Carb Foods Growing In Popularity
Restaurants are adding "air-based" foods to their menus in an attempt to cater to what marketing strategists codename "the really, really, really, really carb-conscious customer".
Read full storyGeorge Bush Embraces Sith and Dark Side of the Force
WASHINGTON, DC--United States President George W. Bush has embraced the Sith and the Dark Side of the Force, saying that it's "no more Mr. Nice Guy" in the ongoing fight against insurgents in Iraq.
Read full storyJets Are Lost For Space
New York Jets Now Homeless, Are Worried About Their Future!!...
Read full storyFirst Three Cars Scrapped -- Danica Wins!!!
Indianapolis Indiana The first three cars have been disqualified from the Indy 500. The new winner is Danica Patrick. An anonymous source says that after the mandatory impounding of the cars after the race two of the first three were found to...
Read full storySummertime: A Time For Hot Dogs, The Beach and Impeachment
Well, it's summertime and and once again Washington watchers are gearing up for that age old pastime: that's right folks...it's Impeachment Season. The warm and balmy months in our nations capitol are traditionally a time for frolicking poolside and attempting to bring down our nations leaders. It will be remembered by the half dozen Americans who actually pay attention to what...
Read full storySupreme Court - Property not so private anymore
Washington, DC - In a stunning decision which harkens to the writings of French anarchist Pierre-Joseph Proudhon (who coined the slogan "property is theft"), the US Supreme Court has ruled that local governments can seize private property for private...
Read full story'Create your own blood' vessels grows scientists' engineering success into brain transplants
London based scientists have raced ahead in the search for Enhanced Artificial & Natural Intelligence (EANI) by discovering how to grow their own blood vessels into natural objects including Citrullus vulgaris.
Read full storySpielberg's ‘War of the Worlds' Turns Americans Into Fearful, Raving Paranoids
MENLO PARK, CA-Americans have been turned into fearful, raving paranoids by the release of Steven Spielberg's remake of the movie ‘War of the Worlds' starring Tom Cruise on June 29, observed Dr. Felix Minderbinder, a Psychiatrist with the Stanford Re...
Read full storyCreditors threaten to fill-in the Channel Tunnel
Paris-Eurotunnel, operator of the Channel Tunnel, admitted on Thursday that a cash crisis is imminent, and that it had less than four months to come up with a workable financial plan to deal with its mountain of debt-or its Creditors will fill...
Read full storyMichael Jackson Guilty of Live 8 Ticket Scandal
Barely one day after being found Not Guilty of allegations that he brought the high office of Pontiff into disrepute, well known pyjama catwalk model, Michael Jackson, has been caught, in flagrante, conducting an auction for his complimentary pair of...
Read full storyDevelopers Use Eminent Domain to Acquire White House
President Bush was stunned today when he was told by his Housing and Urban Development Director that he & Laura would have to vacate the White House no later than noon on Monday. The HUD Director said he made his best effort to stop the acquisition o...
Read full storyUnited States Government Declares Bankruptcy, Seeks Protection from Creditors
WASHINGTON, DC--The United States government has declared bankruptcy and entered Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection from its creditors.
Read full storyKozlowski takes up kick-boxing, gets ink in anticipation of prison sentence
Brooklyn, NY - Convicted corporate felon Dennis Kozlowski has apparently begun preparations for his inevitable stay in the New York State prison system. Enlisting advice from famed executive prison induction counselor and convicted felon, Curtis Way...
Read full storyEllen Macarthur -- A Dame Fine Performance
In a modern world apparently devoid of a half decent spiritual exemplar, yachtswoman Ellen Macarthur was today trumpeted as the latest demigod elect as she triumphantly sailed into Falmouth harbour following her successful record-breaking circumcisio...
Read full storyPolitcal Analysts Say Bush is a ‘Lame Duck'
Some are calling him a ‘Quack'. Some say he is the Daffiest and Daftest person to have ever been elected President of the United States. Now, the American people have started Crying Fowl. And political analysts are declaring that George W. Bush is...
Read full storyTeam Zissou Does It Again
In an astounding announcement on the deck of the Belafonte, at anchor in the Baring Straight, Oceanographer Steve Zissou shocked the world with his latest discovery.
Read full storyBush Establishes "Homeland Youth" Corps
WASHINGTON, DC (UPI)-President George W. Bush has established a "Homeland Youth Corps" to educate and indoctrinate America's children into loyally serving their country, and to make them more likely to accept a future military draft.
Read full storyNew Fall Line-Ups Announced for TV Networks
Television programmers and executives announced six additional shows today for their fall line-ups. CBS Vice President Bart Clicker said: "We all had some shows that were on the bubble, like Joan of Arcadia and Arrested Development. Now that the de...
Read full storyBolton nomination delayed again by dimwitted Democrats
Washington, DC - Once again, the nomination of John Bolton has been delayed by Democratic leaders bent on exposing the current undersecretary of state for arms control as having conflicting agendas. Bolton, who Senator Joseph Biden (D-Delaware) desc...
Read full storySurgeon General's Office Finds Multiple New Problems with Smoking
The Surgeon General's office released a report today that cigarette smoking contains dangers other than just lung and throat cancer. Dewey Flintlock, official spokesman, said in an interview that these dangers are far reaching. "Have you ever notic...
Read full storyBritish youths to participate in exchange scheme with Iraqi insurgents
Wednesday. Manchester. UK. Community leaders in Salford, the Manchester suburb, have today announced ambitious new plans to combat the alarming rise in crimes amongst teenage youths.
Read full storyJerry Springer and "Date" party in Florida
Miami, Florida - Yes, that's right… but, wow, Jerry's dating again! Tabloid TV tycoon Jerry Springer, after a much publicized break up with longtime girlfriend, Bambi Bung, has once again, or for the first time, found true love.
Read full storyImprisoned Saddam embracing American culture
Baghdad, Iraq - Held in a US military compound awaiting trail for crimes against the people of Iraq, Saddam Hussein has been slowly warming up to Hollywood's version of American culture under the tutelage of US National Guardsmen.
Read full storyOops! He Did It Again!
Unhappy with his frustrating experiences in the Democratic primaries and with opposition to his cantankerous approach to on the record political business, Howard Dean, the gadfly of modern politics, has taken out his Munchausen by proxy syndrome ange...
Read full storyDrinking and Driving: Where the only victims are the drivers themselves.
As not only a proud supporter of drinking and driving, I think that people make too big a deal out of drunk driving. Who reading this has not had a few drinks and has taken the option of driving? If you have you understand how much better it is. Not only do you save the extra $50 you would have paid for a taxi, but that extra $50 is now availble in getting your self more hammered. Everybody...
Read full storyFrench break with tradition and refuse to surrender
France. Wednesday. 1st June. Jacque Chirac was forced to appoint a new Prime Minister yesterday after Monday's disastrous vote on the EU Constitution met with a resounding ‘non'. The result has badly affected the French President who had campaign...
Read full storyWashington To Run Country On Hot Air
In a convoluted, contorted and hard to decipher effort to produce an energy policy, any energy policy, President Bush has proposed running this country on hot air. "It's free. It's overabundant in Washington and we don't have to do much of anything...
Read full storyBush Urges Patience in Iraq War, Explains His Idea of Democracy
FORT BRAGG, NC--President Bush appealed last night to the American people to show patience and resolve in his relentless and brutal quest for Iraqi oil. He acknowledged that the Iraq war is increasingly unpopular, and that Iraq had no links to the Se...
Read full storyHypernasopharyngeality linked to Stupidity
Today's issue of The Journal of the Ameriman Medical Association contained the results of clinical trials conducted by the Harvid Medical School Department of Psychonasopharyngealology that evaluated the correlation between Hypernasopharyngeali...
Read full storyDeep Throat Comes Forward, Laments Pseudonym
Former FBI Deputy Director Mark Felt revealed to a stunned world Tuesday that he was in fact "Deep Throat," the infamous informant who played a crucial role in bringing down the Nixon administration in 1974 in the wake of the Watergate scandal. Felt...
Read full storyMilwaukee claims Monopoly in 'People Who Say Bubbler' Market
A study released today by Refreshment magazine claims that Milwaukee has a Monopoly in a very selective area: 'The People Who Say Bubbler' Market. Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett plans to honor the news with the announcement of the construction of a huge bubbler adjacent to Calatrava's addition to the Milwaukee Art Museum.
Read full storySenator Durbin Persuaded to Apologize for Gitmo Remarks
WASHINGTON, DC--(Reuters)--Under fire from Republicans, Senator Dick Durbin apologized Tuesday for comparing American torturers at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp to Nazis and other infamous users of torture.
Read full storyDeep Throat or Ben & Jerry's
The revelation that Deep Throat was the former deputy director of the FBI brings a close to a mysterious chapter in American history or does it? Could there have been more than one Deep Throat...
Read full storyPopularity of ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith' Film Reveals Mass Psychosis, Claims Psychiatrist
MENLO PARK, CA-The extreme popularity of the newly released film ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith' which glorifies mass murder by two of Hollywood's most popular stars reveals a large-scale psychosis in the American movie-going audience, and likely in the general U...
Read full storyJackson Found Guilty!
Cedar Rapid, IA - After weeks of testimony and hours of deliberation the verdict is finally in. Art Jackson is a badass!...
Read full storyMike The Mayor's Olympic Plea
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg took his quest to host the 2012 Olympic Games to Accra, Ghana in a vainglory effort to convince a group of twenty poor, harried, unsympathetic International Olympic officials why the Richest City in the World des...
Read full storyRadio DJ Fired For Having No Face
Ireland - The presenter of the popular Irish national radio show 'Gardener's Gripes', a show that helps solve listener's gardening problems, Colm Hargreaves, was today acrimoniously sacked by executives of RTE Radio (Ireland...
Read full storyBad Bosses - Murder on the rise
New York City, New York - They found his "easy lift" office chair in the "high" position. They found his secretary crying in the corner. They found his lifeless body hanging from the ceiling fan. It was evident. Another bad boss had gone down.
Read full story200,000 brain cells perish at last night's kegger, city mourns
Citizens of the city gathered today as a part of the service to mourn the loss of 200,000 brain cells. This is the largest loss the city has seen since the four-city-blocks-long block party of '82.
Read full storyToys "R" Us Develops "Kiddie" Arrest Kit
Toys "R" Us, national toy store chain, announced today that they have developed a "Kiddie" arrest kit to use with juvenile offenders. Reviewing the increase in grade school and sometimes, even pre-school crime, toy developers saw the need for age ap...
Read full storyIraqi Insurgency Could Last 1200 years, Rumsfeld Warns
WASHINGTON, DC--The Iraqi insurgency could stretch on for more than a 1000 years, U.S. Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said as he played down recent meetings between American officials and resistance leaders.
Read full storyOil Shortages Will Doom Most Everybody Says New Book
NEW YORK--Most of the people of the planet earth are utterly doomed as global oil supplies peak and run out, and energy prices skyrocket, warns the American social critic and author James Howard Kunstler in his latest book "The Long Emergency: Sur...
Read full storyBum smuggled into Sandhurst
Buckingham Palace and Her Majesty Elton John have reacted strongly to reports that a bum was smuggled into Sandhurst Military Nursery by a leading chip paper distributor.
Read full storyBible Belts Pissing Off Bible Belt; Christian Coalition
A new brand of belts manufactured using the leather coverings of recycled Bibles, (i.e. "Bible Belts") is tightening the nerves of America's Bible Belt, the geographical region known for its fundamentalist brand of Protestant Christianity and strict interpretation of the Bible. "It's blasphemy!" says Ralph Reed, former head of the Christian Coalition and majo...
Read full storyNanobug "Eater" Outbreak Contained, Claims Pentagon
Washington, DC (AP)-The recent outbreak of nanobug "eaters" which has reduced the immense Pentagon building to a "gray goo" has been contained, claimed Colonel Bull Buntline at a hastily called and sparsely attended news conference at a Howard Johnso...
Read full storyPope Condones Gay Marriages Between Rabbits
Pope Benedict, in his first clear pronouncement on gay marriages since his election, condoned same-sex unions as fabulous expressions of "anarchic freedom" that enhance the richness of the future of the human family. "Look at rabbits, bounc...
Read full storyIraqi Tribunal Quizzes Saddam on Massacres
BAGHDAD -- An Iraqi judge has formally submitted questions to Saddam Hussein and prosecutors seem to be concentrating on several cases concerning his alleged crimes. Many of these received international attention during Saddam's three decades in...
Read full storyPavarotti loses voice, plans new tour
ROME - Luciano Pavarotti, the famous opera singer who is ridiculed for being much fatter than he really is, has pulled out of a few concerts planned for the summer, after contracting laryngitis.
Read full storyRumsfeld victim of Identity Theft… For about a day
Washington, DC - Secret Service spokesperson Vanessa Star confirmed today that US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was a brief victim of identity theft last week. The confessed thief, Larry Greenwald of Roanoke, Virginia, voluntarily turned hims...
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