Russell Crowe - It's Just Not Boxing!

Funny story written by feetfirst

Wednesday, 8 June 2005

image for Russell Crowe - It's Just Not Boxing!
Couldn't ya have got a better shot of me? He didn't get a hit in!

After recently spending time with Aussie boxing champion, Kostya Tszyu, Australian Russell Crowe 41, was out to test the waters. When the telephone in his hotel room didn't work he approached the porter in the lobby. Russell did his best to provoke an argument and when the fellow wouldn't take him on he threw the phone at the wall, it richotted and scratched the porter in a brilliant stroke of luck for Crowe.
The Gladiator star whose newest movie ‘Cinderella Man' opened just last week, in a poor box office showing, was aware he needed far more publicity to win over the crowds. Having been worded up by Kostya on the best way to pick a fight, he had put all his acting skills on the line as he verbally abused the porter. True anger only surfacing when his every effort had failed.
Crowe had chosen ‘The Mercer' hotel for his anticipated tirade as he didn't really like staying there anyway and hadn't planned on returning.
Advisers to the star told him he needed a fist fight to promote the boxing movie, not just his usual temper tantrum. In an unverified statement Crowe said, "I tried everything on the little bastard but he just wouldn't throw a punch at me, I even called his mother a lard arse choca-holic, nothing worked, he must have trained under the best!"
Crowe, who will return to court on September, quickly changed his shirt for the one promoting the movie before the police arrived and made sure the photographers were in place before staging the mini drama.
The local Police hand-cuffed the non resisting Crowe and casually strolled him through the media, Crowe holding his head at the perfect angle for the photographers to gain the best side shots. The little smirk and the success of his tirade almost went unnoticed but for one amateur video positioned on the wrong side of the actor.
In ‘Cinderella Man' Crowe plays boxing champion James J Braddock, well known in the 1920's. Sharing the movie is co-star Renee Zellweger who admits she was approached to make a bit of a fuss too but wasn't in the mood.
The success of the project will not be known until box office takings are counted at the end of the week. If it hasn't helped then Crowe is expected to have a final attempt a real fight by picking on the judge. He should at least be able to do a few days in jail then and gain some insight for another movie, ‘The Inmate in a mate'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more