"Siamese" Twin Breasts Survive Separation Surgery

Written by susan allen-rosario

Monday, 6 June 2005

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"Two nipples are better than one."

Hollywood, California - Conjoined twin breasts, known publicly as "The Girls" were successfully separated after nearly 12 hours of surgery, yesterday. The two breasts were said to have shared one nipple and mammary glands.

One of the "girls", #42C was given the nipple and #42D, will receive a transplanted nipple when a donor nipple becomes available. The woman patient has her name on a nipple transplant list, awaiting a match.

The giant single breast before surgery, looked like a Cyclops with one nipple in the middle and was apparently very uncomfortable for the patient, a surgeon told reporters. The separation surgery was estimated to have cost nearly $400,000 dollars with one surgeon, (who was dating the patient) donating his services. The woman, undergoing the procedure, had to spend nearly a week in the hospital recovering from the ordeal.

"I felt like such a freak, it was almost impossible to find clothes that fit, not to mention a bra with one giant cup. My mother made my clothes and undergarments, but since she past away in 1995, I've been on my own. It's been a real struggle," the woman said.

She went on to admit there have been some good things that have come her way, due to her interesting anatomy. "I made a lot of money in college winning wet-shirt contests. The frat boys just couldn't believe their eyes. I also did lay outs for both Playboy and Hustler. I made a chunk of change with both those magazines competing for my photos.

When questioned about what her plans are for the future, she said that wedding arrangements for a spring celebration are in the works. "I also hope to have children someday, although I know breast feeding may not be an option. Surgeons have warned me that my surviving nipple may not provide me with a fully functioning breast."

The local frat boys interviewed, say they are sorry to see this happen. "She was our favorite contestant. Now she looks like everyone else." Playboy also said they would no longer be able to use her in their magazine. "She sold a lot of magazines with the one breast. Everybody has two, she is no longer unique."

"I didn't want to be unique," she said. "In the long run, two nipples are better than one."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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