'Snooker Loopy' line-up reforms for Live 8

Funny story written by thetowell

Monday, 13 June 2005

image for 'Snooker Loopy' line-up reforms for Live 8
Willie Thorne, yesterday

LONDON - Music fans across the globe were celebrating Monday, as Live 8 organisers revealed the legendary supergroup behind rock classic 'Snooker Loopy' had left old differences aside to lend their support to the mass free concert to help Africa, a troubled continent to the south of Spain.

Rumours have circulated in the press for weeks that the lure of the free Hyde Park concert would prompt artists such as the 'Spice Girls' and retro-rockers 'Pink Floyd' to perform, but few had dared to hope that Live 8 supremo Bob Geldof could snare the holiest of Holy Grails.

Speaking to a packed press conference in central London this morning, Geldof revealed that Chas 'n' Dave's classic anthem will delight the estimated 130,000 pop fans at the event after Terry Griffiths and Willie Thorne, Steve Davis, Dennis Taylor and Tony Meo finally put pen to paper and agreed to help make music history once again.

The band has not performed together since the last recording session at London's Kirkwall studios in April 1986, a day marred forever by the tragic killing of Cliff Thorburn and Eddie Charlton. But Geldof reassured gathered reporters that Griffiths, whose uncharacterstically violent outburst had precipitated the deaths, is fully rehabilitated and has accepted responsibility for his actions.

"This is exactly what the MakePovertyHistory campaign needed," Geldof said. "We need to make the G8 leaders listen to what we're saying, and there is no better way of doing that than saying to Bush, and saying to Blair that we have to 'Pot the reds, then screw back, For the yellow, green, brown, blue, pink and black.'."

"Snooker loopy, nuts are we, We're all snooker (pause) loopy," Geldof added.

The Live 8 campaign aims to raise the profile of global poverty and highlight imbalances in the global economy caused by ineffective trade rules and crippling third world debts.

Geldof and colleagues are hoping their sensational coup will lead directly to a utopian vision of plenty in Eden's continent, providing they can convince Barry Hearn to forego his 12%.

"He (Hearn) is clinging on like a petrified Baboon, but Africa is crying, and the tears will curdle his metal heart," Geldof said

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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