There were 331 spoof news stories published in July 2004. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Maria Sharapova Signs Deal
Maria Sharapova really needs an antiperspirant that works on those huge Russian armpits. "My pits got a heavy workout this past week at Wimbledon. I never would have won if I didn't use Arrid Brand deodorant. Arrid kept me dry while my oppon...
Read full storyAfter Tour de France, Lance Armstrong says, "We are over, Sheryl Crow!"
Well people, it looks as though our friends Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong are no more. Armstrong reluctantly broke up with his girlfriend of one year last week, after winning the Tour de France.
Read full storyNude Newborn Shocks Doc
Presque Isle, ME - If any more evidence of America's moral decay were needed, it came at 4:17 yesterday afternoon. In a delivery room at the Aroostook Medical Center, Dr. Joyce Hebert brought a healthy 7.7 lbs. baby boy into this world; but imagine...
Read full storyRyanair acquires Concorde
Dublin, Ireland. Ryanair Chief executive, Michael O'Leary has told reporters for the Financial Times, that Ryanair has acquired Concorde an...
Read full storyBin Laden Wants Puppet Regime Too
Criminal mastermind Osama Bin Laden says Iraq has a puppet regime, and he wants one as well.
Read full storyAFL-CIO Supports Intestinal Bacteria Strike Plan
Colon - Frustrated by what they referred to as "inhumane" conditions, tens of millions of bacteria in your large intestine issued a comprehensive set of work rules demands today. Ranging from improved lighting and ventilation to greater security, th...
Read full storySpiderman Quits Law Enforcement, Becomes Pizza Boy
Marvel Comics character and part-time superhero Spiderman announced his retirement today to a stunned New York City and a number of delighted criminal masterminds.
Read full storyMcDonalds Purchases the Papacy, Ronald Made McPope
McDonalds Corporation has officially announced today its successful hostile takeover of the Roman Catholic Church and affiliated organisations. McDonalds now has exclusive rights to the Pope and the Vatican, whilst...
Read full storyHilary Duff in New Movie
HOLLYWOOD (AP) Hilary Duff is sure to win the respect of serious movie audiences in her new film "Evil Eyes". Appearing recently in movies such as Lizzie McGuire and Casper Meets Wendy, the pretty 17-year-old actress felt that she needed to take a...
Read full storyKournikova, Sharapova part of WTA's new Russian marketing campaign
Busty former tennis fashionista and Jergens "hand" lotion's leading salesperson, Anna Kournikova, may not be able to win a tennis match, or, even currently be playing the sport.
Read full storyLance Armstrong: "It's all her fault!"
Cycling champion Lance Armstrong is severely irate these days about his falling behind in the Tour de France, claiming that he has been currently in dazes during the race. I guess this explains why he was in fourth place for a majority of tim...
Read full storyTour de France Shocker as Lance Armstrong Flies to Victory
Tour de Farce: Shockwaves have been sent around the cycling world as yesterday's 197.5 kilometre stage, from Castelsarrasin to La Mongie, was taken by storm in rather unconventional circumstances. Five-time Tour de...
Read full storySanta Claus Releases "Naughty and Nice" List
Early this morning, and months before its scheduled release date, Father Christmas today surprised the world with an early release of his list of ‘who's been naughty and who's been nice'. The list, a virtual who's who in world politics and bu...
Read full storyAstronaut Forgets Key, Locked out of International Space Station
Space - "Houston we have a problem," was the call put in earlier by NASA astronaut Maj. James P. Sutton, Jr. It seems Maj. Sutton left the keys to the international space station on his bedroom nightstand.
Read full storyUS Men's Synchronized Swim Team Ready For Athens
The United States Men's Synchronized Swimming Team reports that it is ready to take on the world this summer at the Olympic games in Athens.
Read full storyMichael Moore Signs For Real Madrid
Real Madrid today confirmed the signing of Michael Moore as their first choice goalkeeper. Coach Antonio Camacho said that Moore 'definitely fills a role'.
Read full storyBush Nominates Satan
In a surprise press conference today, President George W. Bush announced the nomination of Satan as his judicial nominee for the 4th District in North Carolina.
Read full storyKobe Bryant granted own expansion team
EAGLE, CO -- Unable to land a contract with an NBA team willing to let him pursue his goal of winning a championship all by himself, Kobe Bryant was granted his own expansion team on the steps of the Eagle, Colorado courthouse after the 45th day of a...
Read full storyAnn Coulter experiencing problems promoting her new book
NEW YORK- Ann Coulter's controversial new book hits the shelves this Friday, but she's having a difficult time promoting it.
Read full storyLos Alamos Now Lost Alamos
In yet another major security lapse the entire Los Alamos Nuclear Research facility has disappeared. Officials are at a loss to explain how a complete complex of buildings and all the people in them could vanish amid the some of the tightest security...
Read full storyVan Halen Sues John Kerry
Los Angeles, CA (AP) - Lawyers of the hard rock band Van Halen have filed a suit in federal court to block the use of the song "Right Now" in John Kerry's political campaign.
Read full storyMichael Moore, Bill O'Reilly to Wed
FLINT, MICH. --- Liberal film-maker Michael Moore and Conservative talking head Bill O'Reilly announced today their intention to tie the knot in Boston, Massachusettes, on July 4th, 2004.
Read full storyAnimal Rights Activists Urge "Mercy for Mosquitoes"
TOLEDO, Ohio - With summer in full-swing across America, one unwelcome pest is getting a PR boost from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). Despite concerns with a variety of mosquito-borne illnesses and a correlated up tick in sales...
Read full storyOlympic Swimmer Michael Phelps Pees In Pool
U.S. star Swimmer Michael Phelps launched the ultimate revenge on Australian Rival Ian Thorpe this week when he revealed he urinated in Thorpe's lane moments before Phelps' victory in the men's 200-meter individual medley at the World Swimmin...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Asks Terrorists for Help to Postpone Elections
The Department of Homeland Security has been working with Election Officials, al Qaida and the Bush Administration to put plans in place to postpone the November Presidential Elections. The tentative plan calls for a terrorist attack in the event t...
Read full storyKofi Annan reunited with Morgan Freeman
The Secretary General of the UN, Kofi Annan, has been reunited with his long lost Brother, actor and Ukulele magnate Morgan Freeman.
Read full storyCourtney Love to Attend Finishing School
Middletown, CT June 11, 2004. Notorious New York celebrity lawyer Al Screwum said he is sending is his client, Ms. Courtney Love, to the swa...
Read full storyHalf-man Half-Fish. Found In Deep Trench!
In what is surely the most sensational discovery of the year, a half-man half-fish has been found alive and well, breathing and living his life at the bottom of the Marinas Trench, in the eastern Pacific Ocean.
Read full storyMatt Damon - Boston Hunk Supreme
Boston, MA - Despite the high-living and low-loving of his best buddy Ben Affleck, Matt Damon has managed to stake a claim as Boston's Hunkus Supremus following his role in the spy-thriller, "the Bourne Supremacy."...
Read full storyBubble Boy Leaves House, Gets Job
BLOOMINGTON ILLINOIS-- After spending the first 19 years of his life in a protective plastic bubble, a Bloomington man took his first steps into the outside world this week.
Read full storySenator Kerry Goes After The Transvestite Vote With Eddie Izzard
In a move to appeal to another minority group, Senator John Kerry has teamed up with Transvestite Comedian Eddie Izzard. The two will appear in a series of 13 live concerts to be held in various battleground states in the months after the Democratic...
Read full storyVice Admiral James Stockdale Begins Stumping as Third-Party VP Candidate
Washington, DC - Vice Admiral James Bond Stockdale (ret.), Ross Perot's running mate during the 1992 Presidential election, today announced his plan to run as an independent Vice Presidential candidate. In an unusual step, Admiral Stockdale is runni...
Read full storyDrudge Report Sinks To New Low
WASHINGTON - Matt Drudge's ‘The Drudge Report' has long been hailed by right-wing conservatives as the definitive source for dirt on their liberal Democrat adversaries. With the release of ‘Fahrenheit 9/11', controversial film director Michael M...
Read full storyGeorge Lucas Announces New Star Wars Film Title
Amid rumour and counter rumour George Lucas finally announced today the title of the third instalment of the Star Wars Canon.
Read full storyMaria Sharapova Finds Tennis Ball
A young woman digging in her yard found a tennis ball. Maria Sharapova has been digging holes on her 700-acre estate hoping to find something of value. "Finding this tennis ball is the best thing I have ever dug up! I'm not quite sure what I...
Read full storyFrench Catholics 'must move to the Vatican'
Pope John-Paul II has urged all French Catholics to move to the Vatican immediately to escape anti-Catholic sentiments in France.
Read full storyExclusive: Saddam Pleads Guilty, Names Accomplices
The former Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein has claimed that in an affidavit presented to an Iraqi judge, he had pleaded guilty and also named a few accomplices. Mr. Hussein made this claim in an exclusive interview to this reporter. This interview was...
Read full storyScientists Discover Satire Site is Wormhole to Parallel Universe
(HOUSTON, Texas) Scientists at the NASA Space Centre revealed unprecedented research today that allegedly confirms leading internet satire site TheSpoof.com as the centre of our universe and, consequently, a wormhole to other parallel universes or ev...
Read full storySaddam Hussein Endorses Bush/Cheney for 2004
BAGHDAD, Iraq - Appearing before a judge, Saddam Hussein endorsed the Bush/Cheney 2004 campaign(Trancript Below).
Read full storyMotorcycle Wreck Claims Rider!
EPHRAIM, UTAH (AP) A terrible accident probably took the life of a yet unidentified motorcyclist. Due to the grim nature of the accident the Coroner has yet to identify the driver even as male or female. "At this point the boots would seem to in...
Read full storyMakin' Whoopie
Whoopie Goldberg is a gas! Or at least she could have been. In a bizarre attempt to get her Slim-Fast contract renewed, Whoopie charged through the gate of the diet corporation in a 2005 Hummer H2, (which everyone later agreed was a fine piec...
Read full storyGeorge Bush Brushes Off The NAACP
\=-President George W. Bush has admitted that he has a "practically nonexistent" relationship with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), citing as his reason that "Black Folks just seem to hate me" and has refused fo...
Read full storyMcDonald's Stock Collapses on News of Brando Death
SAN DIEGO - McDonald's officials are scrambling to reassure investors that the corporation's success in the past year is not threatened by the recent death of Marlon Brando. Skittish investors are clearly not buying into their arguments, dum...
Read full storyFast Food Industry Follows Krispy Kreme Doughnut Beverages Rollout
Following the lead of Krispy Kreme, the fast food industry is quickly responding to the doughnut maker's announcement of doughnut-flavored drinks.
Read full storyCanned by Slim-Fast, Whoopi Goldberg Vows to Promote New Diet
Los Angeles, CA--After being unceremoniously "canned" by Slim-Fast for her comments about the Bush Administration, actress and comedian Whoopi Goldberg has vowed to criss-cross the country promoting a new diet and stressing the benefits of...
Read full storyThe Spoof's latest interview with Sheryl Crow
Our friend Sheryl Crow has recently come back for an interview with our interviewer, Jay McCormack. This time we've asked her a few personal questions, but also things about career, family, and even what she thinks of The Spoof and such. Here is how it went: The Spoof Interviewer Jay McCormack: "Welcome back, Sheryl Crow. So you're all ready to do this intervie...
Read full story"Hi, I'm Billy Mays for OxiClean!"
CULVERT, IOWA (AP) You're watching TV late at night down in the den. The rest of the family is upstairs sound asleep. You've got the volume turned way down as you listen to just one more repeat of stale news. Then, out of nowhere you are suddenly thr...
Read full storyJohn Kerry Announces VEEP
Presidential hopefull John Kerry announced today that his pick for his Vice President would be none other then current President George Bush. Asked to explain his pick, Kerry told reporters that since his and President Bush's policies are so clo...
Read full storyMichael Moore Makes Surprise Entrance and Startling Statement!
Boston, Massachusetts -- CNN's Tom the Foreman, was working on buffing the floors when filmmaker Michael Moore opened the door to the news trailer and announced, "Who has sins they want to confess"?...
Read full storyOxford English Dictionary To Update The Word 'Whitewash'
London, England, A spokesperson for Oxford English Dictionary has allegedly announced that it is to update the word ‘whitewash' to that of a more contemporary meaning.
Read full storyNRA Awards Kennedy and Feinstein
The National Rifle Association today attempted to mend fences with long time foe Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts. In an award ceremony, NRA's Wayne LaPierre told the Senator, who is a long time supporter of banning handguns, "We now wis...
Read full story"Fahrenheit 911" Destroys Industry
The Association of Thermometer Manufacturers is not happy with Michael Moore's new movie "Fahrenheit 911". Karl H. Dorfman, public relations speaker for ART, says, "We do not like Michael Moore. His new movie is making people think...
Read full storyMichael Moore on Michael Moore
Michael Moore, the legendary documentary maker has announced today that he is in the pre-production stages of his latest film, a documentary about himself.
Read full storyGeorge Bush grants amnesty to illegal immigrants, announces George Lopez as running mate
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an unprecedented move to secure a solid win in the November election, President Bush today announced blanket amnesty for all illegal immigrants in America regardless of their green card status, and he confided to reporter...
Read full storyMore Poultry Terror: Chicken Crucified in Chicago Suburb
AURORA, ILLINOIS--- In a shocking development late Wednesday afternoon, Al Jazeera television network released footage of a crucified Chicken on U.S. Rt. 34 near Aurora, Illinois. Police suspect that the hate crime was fuelled by earlier report...
Read full storyColin Powell Auditions For "American Idol 4"
Sources say US Secretary of State Colin Powell recently flew out to Dallas, Texas to audition for next year's edition of the Fox reality show, "American Idol".
Read full storyTwo Johns - No Waiting
SAN FRANCISCO - It seems that presumed Democratic presidential candidate, John Kerry, and his running mate, John Edwards aren't waiting for the honeymoon. In a rally near the San Francisco waterfront, the two Johns surprised supporters by engaging i...
Read full storyMcCartney reveals Vinton was alter ego
LONDON -- In a shocking revelation made here, former Beatle Paul McCartney said that he is and always has really been Bobby Vinton.
Read full storyKwanzaa stolen, Grinch held for questioning
WHOVILLE - The Grinch, described by neighbors as a "mean one," was arrested Tuesday at his home near Whoville. He was held for questioning regarding the theft of Kwanzaa, a holiday that falls near Christmas and Hannukah.
Read full storyTori Spelling Gets Married
Actress Tori Spelling, best known for her role as Donna on TV's "Beverly Hills 90210", has married, her publicist said Monday.
Read full storyAhmed leaves the BB house in Dramatic Fashion
In a dramatic development today Big Brother contestant Ahmed Aghil exploded earlier today following an argument with a fellow housemate.
Read full storyReferee Beaten To Death In Special Olympics Blind Boxing Fiasco
HAMBURG, GERMANY --- The sporting world was in shock today after one of the best loved amateur boxing referees was killed after a pummelling from a Special Olympian blind boxer, who had mistakenly thought the referee was his opponent during a first r...
Read full storyCountry Club Serves Cat Head Hors D'oeuvres
CRYSTAL LAKE, IL-- The Shady Pines country club in Crystal Lake Illinois Shocked guests of a wedding reception on Saturday when they served severed cat heads as appetizers before dinner.
Read full storyComputer Glitch Voids Canadian Election Results
OTTAWA (Dissociated Press)-- In a surprise statement, Elections Canada today announced that it was invalidating the results of the recent Canadian federal election. Officials revealed that what had been portrayed in the media as a hotly-contested rac...
Read full storyid Software Drops Doom3 in Favor of "MMOG" Game
id software announced that Doom3 is no longer in production, and that the developmental team has shifted gears toward something more enlightening.
Read full storyGaddafi Acquires Manchester United
Libyan strongman, president for life, father of the nation, Sultan of all he surveys, WH Smith, Tripoli under-16 javelin bronze, potentate plenitentiary, Dominoes Pizzas, leader supreme, Muammar Gaddafi has bought a controlling interest in Manchester...
Read full storyGreenspan: "You Are Getting Very Sleepy"
WASHINGTON - Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve, announced today he would take certain key steps to ensure the continued recovery and health of the economy. "Flimmity-flammity, bimmity-bammity," he told reporters, "dreezl...
Read full storyMartha Stewart to Market New Line of Electronic Bracelets, Bureaus, Book
New York, NY-- Martha Stewart is seeking to market her new line of electronic bracelets at Tiffany's and her new line of bureaus at Target, sources close to Ms. Stewart said today. Ms Stewart is also said to be in deliberations with several major...
Read full storyIyad Allawi to change name to Saddam Hussein
US-appointed Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi is to change his name by deed poll to Saddam Hussein, it emerged earlier today.
Read full storyLakers trade Shaq to Kings for entire city of Sacramento
LOS ANGELES--Stunning league observers who expected the Dallas Mavericks to be Diesel's new home, the Los Angeles Lakers have traded Shaquille O'Neal to the Sacramento Kings. In return, the Lakers will receive California's capitol city and a suburb...
Read full storyAlabama Made Computers: An Oxymoron?
Hope Springs Eternal, Ala. (AP) - You can special order one from the back pages of a comic book, but most of Miltopia laptop computers go to Afghanistan, Iraq and wherever American combat troops are assigned around the world. They are also the first...
Read full storyMapQuest Destroys Town!
RUGBY, ND (AP) Residents of rural Rugby, North Dakota will not soon forget this July 4th. Cars, pickups, and big trucks started rolling up 4th Avenue at 9 o'clock in the morning. Drivers soon started pulling over and ringing doorbells asking for...
Read full storyAl Sharpton Launches 2008 Presidential Campaign
In a bold move this week, America's lovable loser, the Reverend Al Sharpton, officially kicked-off his 2008 campaign for President. Sharpton, who has been preaching since the age of three and running for president since the age of four, dropped out...
Read full storyJohn Kerry Plan Backfires
Following disastrous attempts to build support with Latino and African American communities that resulted in the Kerry Latino Riot and the AME Incident, Senator John Kerry met with Willard Frankenmeyer, Director of the Clowns for Kerry Committee. Th...
Read full storySaddam Hussein Guilty
Thursday brought the welcome return of Saddam Hussein to our television screens. The former Iraqi strongman had his first taste of court, while the ground rules for the trial were being set.
Read full storyVice President Cheney Touts Toilet Clogging Capability
Washington - In a fresh example of his failure to gauge the national mood, Vice President Dick Cheney discussed a memorable bowel movement for nearly three minutes during a recent airing of "Meet the Press." A stunned Tim Russert stared -...
Read full storyDisney Boycotts Southern Baptist
Orlando - "Turnabout is fair play", says head mouseketeer Michael Eisner, when asked why the Walt Disney Company would simply reject any and all Southern Baptist dollars at theme parks and movie theaters. And so marks the beginning of a new er...
Read full storyOpus Dei admits masterminding 9/11: Osama "a mercenary"
(Vatican City, Saturday 3rd July) Documents released today under the Catholic Church's Freedom of Disinformation Act confirm that Osama Bin Laden was paid $5 billion from the Pontifical Office's Colombian offshore accounts to mastermind the...
Read full storyDr. Phil's Wife Says She's Just Too Pretty For Him
Television psychologist Dr. Philip McGraw's wife, Robin, tells reporters that the doc is a "big old goofy man" and she is much too attractive for him.
Read full storyConservative Group Campaigns Against Same-sex Friendships
Davenport, IA - According to conservative group, the Family Unity Council (FUC), Jason Michaels, and his best friend Dave Sloan, both nine, represent a growing threat to the stability of the American family. The boys, who enjoy fishing, riding bikes...
Read full storyChinese Swim Team Banned
Athens Greece.In a decision that suprised no one, the International Olympic Committee banned the Chinese Womens swim team for illegal substances and having fins.
Read full storyBen & Jerry's introduce new ice cream flavor: Burning Bush
SPOKANE, Wash. - Ben Cohen, the Ben of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream fame, is not a fan of President Bush. Cohen is currently travelling around the country on what he is calling his "Pants on Fire" tour. Towing a 12 foot effigy of the President which fea...
Read full storyMichael Moore Is New James Bond
Michael Moore may not have cracked the nod for the Democratic Convention but he's scored big time with the role of James Bond in "You only look like you've lived twice". This news breaking after Pierce Brosnan confirmed that he is n...
Read full storyIPaq microwave oven stars in HP handheld quartet
Hewlett Packard is adding four new handheld Pocket PC devices to its iPaq family, including its first model with microwave capabilities.
Read full storyKerry Flatulence Horror
Democratic Nominee Senator John Kerry's run at the White House could lie in tatters inside sources have revealed. They fear that while he may not stabilise the oil problem he could single-handedly sort out America's natural gas requirements.
Read full storyStar Wars Title Shocker
Los Angeles, CA - In what will become a case study of how not to name a film, fans and industry executives reacted with shock and dismay to the title of the upcoming installment of the Star Wars saga - "The Revenge of the Sh*t".
Read full storyBush Blasts Hilary With Heat Vision!
President Bush, visibly annoyed by a Senator Hillary R. Clinton's heckling, lost his temper this morning and fired a blast of heat vision at the former first lady, setting her hair on fire. The outburst occured at a fund-raiser for the New York s...
Read full storyJohn Kerry's planned convention speech leaked
Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe is engaged in a desperate attempt to find the person or persons who leaked John Kerry's alleged acceptance speech at the nominating convention later this month.
Read full storyMartha Stewart Packing Her Bags
Friends of Martha Stewart say that she is packing her bags for her upcoming vacation at a yet undisclosed Federal Correction Facility. Next-door neighbor Beatrice Busybody says, "Yesterday I saw a big UPS van delivering nine great big new steame...
Read full story3 Days of Peace, Love and Understanding
UPI, Baghdad, Iraq, July 15, 2004 - Billed as three days of peace, love and understanding, the U.S. government is planning to sponsor the first annual "Baghdadstock Music and Arts Fair" on August 15 - 17.
Read full storyMartha Stewart Sentenced to Sixty Five Years
Martha Stewart has been sentenced to sixty five years in a Federal Maximum Security Prison for violent felons. The term, which far surpasses the court mandated minimum sentencing guidelines was imposed by United States District Judge Miriam Cedarbaum...
Read full storyLocal Man Dejected After America's Funniest Home Videos Declines 100th Straight Entry
Denver - A local Lakewood man, David Cottalano, says he's "down right unhappy" about his latest defeat at the hands of the producers from the ABC show America's Funniest Home Videos. Although he should not be surprised, this was the one...
Read full storyDan Brown to Follow Up Best Selling 'Da Vinci Code'
Best selling author Dan Brown has announced that he is working on a follow-up to his acclaimed novel, The Da Vinci Code. The new Novel, entitled The Schultz Code asserts astonishing claims that Cartoonist Charles Schultz included hidde...
Read full storyClinton Book Sees Second Printing
WASHINGTON - Following the release of former President Bill Clinton's book, 'My Life', in June of this year, several watch-groups have reported a host of typographical errors. The book has enjoyed only marginal sales, despite the heavy m...
Read full storyParasites Hail Lance Armstrong
The people of Paris were thrilled to see an American Lance Armstrong, racing to a record 6th win in the Tour de France. The Parisites were so thrilled in fact that they tried to derail him with hailstones from a storm which had broken earlier.
Read full storyBeckham Reveals Real Facts of Penalty Incident
David Beckham broke cover early this morning to put forward his reasons for the penalty miss that helped to send the English team crashing out of the European finals...
Read full storyChocolate Lovers Love Jesus
HERSHEY, PA - In a bold move today, The Hershey Company - well-known chocolateer - released a line of controversial candies in an effort to appeal to potential customers who feel the run-of-the-mill Hershey Bar is just a little too boring.
Read full storyJesus Blesses Drug Use
Troy, NY - Not since the miracle at Lourdes has the divine spoken to mankind as directly as it did on a recent night. According to Jason Greer, a 24-year-old graduate student at the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, The Son of God spoke to him by na...
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