Written by Professor Jabo

Wednesday, 21 July 2004

image for John Kerry Plan Backfires
Kerry, on the left, with Director of Clowns for Kerry Committee

Following disastrous attempts to build support with Latino and African American communities that resulted in the Kerry Latino Riot and the AME Incident, Senator John Kerry met with Willard Frankenmeyer, Director of the Clowns for Kerry Committee. The organization has 212,000 members in six key battleground states and is a big constituency in the Kerry plan to get elected. Kerry said "Clowns for Kerry has achieved national status under the direction of Mr. Frankenmeyer". Several campaign appearances have been scheduled for Senator Kerry and Mr. Frankenmeyer and Frankenmeyer has been asked to speak at the Democratic Convention in Boston.

Kerry also said "Clowns are considered mainstream Americans and are loved by young and old alike". Kerry went on to say that he had always wanted to be a clown but he could not fit into the tiny cars they drive. "But now that I know Willard, I am proud to call him my personal friend and have welcomed his visits to each of my homes where he has played with our children. I look forward to each of his visits and will be introducing him to Senator Edwards' family next week" said Kerry.

Senator Kerry and Mr. Frankenmeyer discussed possible cabinet or ambassador positions for Frankenmeyer in the Kerry administration. Ambassador to France was mentioned as one possibility.

Following the meeting, Frankenmeyer met with reporters who had learned that he was previously employed at Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch and had recently been named as an accessory in the child molestation case against Jackson. Mr. Frankenmeyer also revealed he was a transsexual and had previously been known as Martina Frankenmeyer.

Embarrassed aids said the Senator did not know of Mr. Frankenmeyer's relation to Michael Jackson or that he/she was a transsexual. Kerry would immediately seek a replacement to head the Clowns for Kerry Committee. However, Kerry said he might still consider Frankenmeyer for the position of Ambassador to France or nominate Jerry Lewis instead.

Vice President Cheney's offices released a statement that Kerry had achieved his dream of being a clown and recommended Kerry move to Sarasota, Florida after the election and join the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey Circus.

In a related story, AME Choir Leader, Marcella Marsala Jefferson announced she would join the Reverend Jesse Jackson in supporting Ralph Nader for President as a result of Senator Kerry's misguided attempt to lip sync gospel songs and the physical injuries suffered by two deacons, three deaconesses, four elders and five other elderly church members when Kerry charged into the congregation last Sunday at the AME Church. 300 members of the congregation walked out of the Church with Reverend Jackson vowing to support Nader.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Riot, John Kerry

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