Written by Ben Pearman

Sunday, 4 July 2004

image for id Software Drops Doom3 in Favor of "MMOG" Game
Squiggy the Wonder Skeleton Approves of SOE's stance on Doom3: The Scars of Scorched Earthen

id software announced that Doom3 is no longer in production, and that the developmental team has shifted gears toward something more enlightening.

"I swear, we thought Doom3 was going to be a hit among the populace of Venezuela and the greater US Virgin Islands, but once all of the survey results were turned in, we found a startling answer. No one wants Doom3 to be an FPS. The overwhelming majority state that they want an ever changing, diverse universe not unlike EverQuest or Dark Age of Camelot." says id software guru John Carmack.

John may be on to something, because as soon as this story broke, id software quickly released a statement asking the makers of EverQuest to not be angry with id's choice to compete directly with them. They only want to offer a pure alternative hell situation for players to immerse themselves in so that they can appreciate the finer points of life.

SOE Online entertainment executives report that they're unhappy with the recent addition to the MMOG scene.

"It's an outage! Who does John think he is? At least he's not like that freak John Romero or whatever his name is. He scares us, we have pet names for mobs that we refer to as "Romerogoons" and "Behemojohn".

Further education in the prospect of Doom3 becoming a MMOG became solidified after a brief meeting with a gentleman only referred to as "Mr. Pink-walk-upright-demon".

"Snarl! Mgggph, arrrgh!"

We're still trying to figure that one out.

Mythic Entertainment released a press statement shortly after SOE dismissed the id software giant saying that they welcomed the addition to the MMOG scene.

"Finally, those jerks who say that Realm against Realm fighting is stupid will be shown what really happens when you experience a cross dimensional rift of astronomical proportions!" says a Mythic Entertainment insider.

No details have been let loose on when we can expect Doom3: The Scars of Scorched Earthen, but many online gamers are hoping that by 2008 they'll be able to blast Cacodemons and Archviles back to the nether-realms of Dark Age of Camelot's hidden archives. Rumor has it the expansion, Doom3: Lost Dungeons of UAC should follow closely in 2009.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: software

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