Cant Manage This
Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...Read full story
England win World cup!
After 48 years of misery, upsets, lousy performances and overpaid Rooney, England have just finished first in the World Cup! The news has just seeped through after a donkey ridden by a Himalayan Sherpa, his five children and wife rode into Kathman...Read full story
Thousands gather in Chicago to watch live twitter news feed of USA vs Belgium World Cup game
They travelled from all over the state to gather in Chicago town square. Draped in red, white and blue flags, these US team football fans stared up to watch the big screen in the centre of the square. On the giant TV was a live twitter news feed pa...Read full story
Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse
Medical staff have told how a man was admitted to a Johannesburg hospital this morning with a vuvuzela protruding out of his arse. The local man, who had been blowing his 'horn' at the South Africa v. Uruguay game, had, apparently, been attacked b...Read full story
Deutschland prove that England weren't so bad after all!
The Germans have done England a massive favour by powering Maradona's "Argie Bargies" out of the World Cup. In fact England can be quite proud of themselves, they scored twice against the Krauts, Messi & Co didn't even bother the German goalke...Read full story
Man Stubs Toe As He Tries To Get A Better View
A man in the Cambodian second-city of Battambang was in agony on Saturday evening after he stubbed his toe. The incident happened around 10:13pm as Moys Kenwood watched the World Cup match between France and Argentina. Excited after the second Fre...Read full story
England: Fourth Place Is Coming Home!
Let the celebrations begin! The England football team, so often derided in the past and labelled 'disappointing' at major tournaments, have at last 'completed the job', 'delivered the goods', and, in one last pathetic strain for a brilliant flower...Read full story
The World's Noise Experts Claim That The Sound of The World Cup Vuvuzela Is Worse Than Water Boarding
TOKYO - Dr. Choofi Hirocheeto, one of the world's foremost experts on noise, has commented in several publications including the highly prestigious Hey What The Hell Was That Noise Illustrated Monthly, that the sound of the African trumpets known as...Read full story
World Cup 2010 News: Loin Cloth Ban Enforced
With only days left before the start of the 2010 World Cup in South Africa, a storm has broken over the tricky issue of 'traditional kits'. Some African teams have decided to exercise their right as Human Beings to choose to wear their traditional...Read full story
World Cup 'Mystake'
I reported Mystic Meg's prediction that the World Cup final between Spain and the Netherlands would end in disaster. So many red cards were predicted, the game would be abandoned for lack of players. The fact that referee Howard Webb, is colour bl...Read full story
Zimbabwe's World Cup Team
Here is the Zimbabwe World Cup team for its qualifying matches:...Read full story
USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time
American soccer fans are furious after being knocked out of the World Cup thanks to a goal from third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry. Despite the scoreboard showing the goal, scored in the seventh minute of extra time, being credited...Read full story
Britain defeated by Compare the Meerkat in World Cup bid
Aleksandr Orlov. The funny little meerkat every British household wants a doll of, just to have him given to your dog as a Christmas present. Now the proud mascot of Moscow as he was the first to celebrate the Russian success. In a fixed vote,...Read full story
Arsenal Faces TV and Radio Blackout as Commentators Threaten Boycott
"We've had enough of this bollocks" so said national treasure and football hero, John "Motty" Motson in his capacity as the newly anointed chair of campaign group Football UK Commentators (FUKC). Motty came out fighting today as Arsenal FC announced...Read full story
1966 World Cup Final Footage Was Doctored By BBC Technicians - England Have Never Won The World Cup!
Following the BBC Frozen Planet polar bear scenes - which were actually filmed in a zoo - controversy, a probably even more profoundly shocking revelation is about to rock the nation to its very foundations. Former BBC special effects wizard, Keit...Read full story
No Comment Offered On England World Cup Squad Internal Warfare
Following the publication of certain 'rumours' alleging that the England World Cup squad was a party divided by loyalties relating to one side or another of the allegedly warring factions, centred around two prominent squad members, Skoob News set ou...Read full story
Shakira's World Cup Song "Waka Waka" Has Just Surpassed Justin Biebers #1 Hit "Scratch My Little Nads"
JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - A spokesperson for Global Records has just stated that the official World Cup Games song "Waka Waka" has just made it to number one. Shakira sings the song which was co-written by American Idol's Kara DioGuardi and 50s...Read full story