Funny story: Scoop: Coronavirus Way Bigger Than Harry Maguire

Scoop: Coronavirus Way Bigger Than Harry Maguire

BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that it has been established that neither Harry Maguire nor England is the center of the universe, one must reach back in history to uncover any event more devastating to the status quo than the Coronavirus. With zombies be...

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Funny story: Hitler Spinning In His Grave

Hitler Spinning In His Grave

There was trouble in Germany last night, after the national football team crashed disastrously out of the World Cup, losing 2-0 to South Korea, a result that sent shockwaves throughout the footballing world. Those shockwaves were so powerful, they...

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Funny story: VAR To Sort Out If England 1966 World Cup Goal Was In Or Not

VAR To Sort Out If England 1966 World Cup Goal Was In Or Not

VAR, the Video Assistant Referee, which has proved so successful in helping on-field officials reach correct decisions in football matches all over the world, is to be used to determine whether or not the ball had crossed the line in England's 1966 W...

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Funny story: Scottish Football's Last Chance

Scottish Football's Last Chance

The swivelling bowel of corruption that is FIFA has farted out it's newest half baked after birth covered idea. The world cup will be expanded to 48 teams. The declaration which was nailed onto the drawbridge at fortress FIFA read that by 2022, like...

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Funny story: Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat

Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat

There was a strange lull and an eerie silence over the country on Thursday morning as England and its people tried to come to terms with the fact that the England football team were not going to win the World Cup. Again. Gareth Southgate's men wer...

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Funny story: Footballers 'Outed' In Controversial Online Game

Footballers 'Outed' In Controversial Online Game

The latest online gaming sensation, Private Ball Skills, is causing controversy worldwide as the game features current footballers under obvious pseudonyms carrying out homosexual acts without being noticed. The game is a mix between the 1990s pla...

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Funny story: Man Fell Asleep During England Game

Man Fell Asleep During England Game

After all the excitement during the build-up to the World Cup, and the first round of games during the last few days, it was right back down to earth on Monday night, as England and Tunisia sent one viewer into a perfect dreamless sleep. Football...

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Funny story: Lionel Messi Spotted Souvenir-hunting

Lionel Messi Spotted Souvenir-hunting

The Argentina striker Lionel Messi has been spotted in a market in Nizhny Novgorod, doing his souvenir-hunting rather earlier than might have been expected. Argentina were one of the pre-World Cup favourites, but a disappointing 1-1 draw with Icel...

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Funny story: Lucky England Through To Last 16

Lucky England Through To Last 16

England progressed to the last 16 of the World Cup last night after they defeated a plucky Panama side 6-1, but it might have been all so different. Harry Kane, England's captain, scored a hat-trick, but it was was probably the most fortunate in h...

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Funny story: Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers

Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers

The octopus that has successfully predicted the outcomes of several World Cup football matches, has been at BBC Broadcasting House this afternoon to screen a special programme during which he forecasts what the winning numbers will be in Saturday's N...

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Funny story: Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...

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Funny story: Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.

Walter Klondyke Smith, 56, has explained to us that he is desperately trying to think of a quiet pub he can go to on Wednesday and Sunday night when if all goes to plan some multi-millionaires will be kicking a ball around a field thousands of miles...

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Seven day catch up

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Funny story: England Still Have Everything To Play For

England Still Have Everything To Play For

England manager Gareth Southgate knows that he has a tricky job on his hands to raise his troops for tomorrow's game with Belgium, but has buoyed them with the rallying call that: Everything is still to play for - except for the World Cup, that...

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Funny story: Cant Manage This

Cant Manage This

Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...

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Funny story: World Cup Coverage "Shit On Purpose"

World Cup Coverage "Shit On Purpose"

Commentators and panel experts covering the World Cup on both the BBC and ITV have been accused of making as many errors and poor comments as possible to boost ratings, as well as increase newspaper and social media coverage. According to insiders...

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Funny story: Irate Fans Demand Refunds Following Boring Uruguay v Ghana World Cup QF

Irate Fans Demand Refunds Following Boring Uruguay v Ghana World Cup QF

Thousands of irate vuvuzela blowing fans gathered outside the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg last night demanding their money back after what will probably go down in history as the most tedious, uneventful World Cup game ever. The game, betw...

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Funny story: Roy and Raheem: A Lovers Tale

Roy and Raheem: A Lovers Tale

Nobody knows who should play in the England team better than millions of unqualified (sometimes drunk) coaches up and down the country. The world cup and the England team unites the country in a way only declaring war on the Germans used to. Back and...

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Funny story: Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

The World Cup is well into its final stages, and, as well as the question over its eventual winners, fans are also speculating as to who might win the Golden Boot, the accolade of being the tournament's highest scorer. Belgium eliminated Brazil la...

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Funny story: World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

World Cup Shock: NO ONE WINS!

A series of events has plunged the World Cup in Russia into unprecendented chaos. An instruction to referees to punish players for clear serious infringements of the rules with yellow and red cards has resulted in previously overlooked fouls being...

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Funny story: Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse

Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse

Medical staff have told how a man was admitted to a Johannesburg hospital this morning with a vuvuzela protruding out of his arse. The local man, who had been blowing his 'horn' at the South Africa v. Uruguay game, had, apparently, been attacked b...

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