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Seven day catch up

Check out anything you've missed with the archive:

England fail to beat Algeria due to Magic Pigeon

The Algerians had a secret weapon. They employed local Zulu magicians or witchdoctors called Sangoma. The sangoma has to satisfy a demand for 'umuthi' (medicine) to prevent misfortune. In South Africa, all football teams have a sangoma who is take...

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USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

Funny story: USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

American soccer fans are furious after being knocked out of the World Cup thanks to a goal from third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry. Despite the scoreboard showing the goal, scored in the seventh minute of extra time, being credited...

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Luis Luis Why?

Funny story: Luis Luis Why?

With all the fuss surrounding Luis Suarez and his biting of the one defender in the Italy team who looks like he could kill a bear with his bare hands, we decided to review the situation. We also decided that no matter how much we could beef up this...

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England: Fourth Place Is Coming Home!

Funny story: England: Fourth Place Is Coming Home!

Let the celebrations begin! The England football team, so often derided in the past and labelled 'disappointing' at major tournaments, have at last 'completed the job', 'delivered the goods', and, in one last pathetic strain for a brilliant flower...

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Radio 5 Sport to broadcast in 3D

Funny story: Radio 5 Sport to broadcast in 3D

The director of Radio 5 Sport, Ezra Pocketcash, announced today that effective immediately, the radio station is to begin broadcasting football matches in 3-D. This new service has been brought forward in time for the world cup, where a lot of te...

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World Cup Threatened in New 'Balls Up' Fatwa Issued by Mullahs Protesting 8 Panel Ball!

Funny story: World Cup Threatened in New 'Balls Up' Fatwa Issued by Mullahs Protesting 8 Panel Ball!

Militant Mullahs from around the world have promised crippling Fatwas over the FIFA decision to introduce a new 8 panel soccer ball to the FIFA world cup starting in South Africa this month and culminating with the championship game July 11 in Johann...

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Lionel Messi Spotted Souvenir-hunting

Funny story: Lionel Messi Spotted Souvenir-hunting

The Argentina striker Lionel Messi has been spotted in a market in Nizhny Novgorod, doing his souvenir-hunting rather earlier than might have been expected. Argentina were one of the pre-World Cup favourites, but a disappointing 1-1 draw with Icel...

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Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Love The World Cup Bees

Funny story: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Love The World Cup Bees

Team Twilight teen heart-throbs Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart seem delighted that the World Cup has begun in South Africa, writes Walter Kenneth Winterbottom-Wolstenholme, Association Football and Apiology Correspondent. According to a sour...

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