Scoop: Coronavirus Way Bigger Than Harry Maguire
BILLINGSGATE POST: Now that it has been established that neither Harry Maguire nor England is the center of the universe, one must reach back in history to uncover any event more devastating to the status quo than the Coronavirus. With zombies be...
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Hitler Spinning In His Grave
There was trouble in Germany last night, after the national football team crashed disastrously out of the World Cup, losing 2-0 to South Korea, a result that sent shockwaves throughout the footballing world. Those shockwaves were so powerful, they...
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VAR To Sort Out If England 1966 World Cup Goal Was In Or Not
VAR, the Video Assistant Referee, which has proved so successful in helping on-field officials reach correct decisions in football matches all over the world, is to be used to determine whether or not the ball had crossed the line in England's 1966 W...
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Scottish Football's Last Chance
The swivelling bowel of corruption that is FIFA has farted out it's newest half baked after birth covered idea. The world cup will be expanded to 48 teams. The declaration which was nailed onto the drawbridge at fortress FIFA read that by 2022, like...
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Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat
There was a strange lull and an eerie silence over the country on Thursday morning as England and its people tried to come to terms with the fact that the England football team were not going to win the World Cup. Again. Gareth Southgate's men wer...
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Footballers 'Outed' In Controversial Online Game
The latest online gaming sensation, Private Ball Skills, is causing controversy worldwide as the game features current footballers under obvious pseudonyms carrying out homosexual acts without being noticed. The game is a mix between the 1990s pla...
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Barçelona's Lionel Messi Leaves Fan In Tears
Man Stubs Toe As He Tries To Get A Better View
Brazilian Masterchef Garners Low Ratings
1966 World Cup Final Footage Was Doctored By BBC Technicians - England Have Never Won The World Cup!
The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up
Unclear on the Concept, Trump Offers to Host Next Year's World Cup
The Secret England Footballer: Colombia Pays the Penalty - Eventually
Sepp's Main Aim
Qatar reveals new football stadium made entirely of immigrant builder's corpses
"England Will Win World Cup" Claims Carol Vorderman
England World Cup squad to be deported from South Africa for visa irregularities
England: Fourth Place Is Coming Home!
Man Fell Asleep During England Game
After all the excitement during the build-up to the World Cup, and the first round of games during the last few days, it was right back down to earth on Monday night, as England and Tunisia sent one viewer into a perfect dreamless sleep. Football...
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Lionel Messi Spotted Souvenir-hunting
The Argentina striker Lionel Messi has been spotted in a market in Nizhny Novgorod, doing his souvenir-hunting rather earlier than might have been expected. Argentina were one of the pre-World Cup favourites, but a disappointing 1-1 draw with Icel...
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Lucky England Through To Last 16
England progressed to the last 16 of the World Cup last night after they defeated a plucky Panama side 6-1, but it might have been all so different. Harry Kane, England's captain, scored a hat-trick, but it was was probably the most fortunate in h...
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Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers
The octopus that has successfully predicted the outcomes of several World Cup football matches, has been at BBC Broadcasting House this afternoon to screen a special programme during which he forecasts what the winning numbers will be in Saturday's N...
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Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions
For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...
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Man looking for a quiet place for a drink on Wednesday and Sunday.
Walter Klondyke Smith, 56, has explained to us that he is desperately trying to think of a quiet pub he can go to on Wednesday and Sunday night when if all goes to plan some multi-millionaires will be kicking a ball around a field thousands of miles...
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England Still Have Everything To Play For
England manager Gareth Southgate knows that he has a tricky job on his hands to raise his troops for tomorrow's game with Belgium, but has buoyed them with the rallying call that: Everything is still to play for - except for the World Cup, that...
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World Cup Coverage "Shit On Purpose"
Commentators and panel experts covering the World Cup on both the BBC and ITV have been accused of making as many errors and poor comments as possible to boost ratings, as well as increase newspaper and social media coverage. According to insiders...
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Irate Fans Demand Refunds Following Boring Uruguay v Ghana World Cup QF
Thousands of irate vuvuzela blowing fans gathered outside the Soccer City Stadium in Johannesburg last night demanding their money back after what will probably go down in history as the most tedious, uneventful World Cup game ever. The game, betw...
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Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot
The World Cup is well into its final stages, and, as well as the question over its eventual winners, fans are also speculating as to who might win the Golden Boot, the accolade of being the tournament's highest scorer. Belgium eliminated Brazil la...
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Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse
Medical staff have told how a man was admitted to a Johannesburg hospital this morning with a vuvuzela protruding out of his arse. The local man, who had been blowing his 'horn' at the South Africa v. Uruguay game, had, apparently, been attacked b...
Read full storyFunny World Cup Headlines
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Arturo "Thunder" Gatti, 37, Former World Boxing Champion, Found Murdered
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Somalian footy fans face the death sentence if they are caught watching the World Cup!
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Male Soccer Fans Praying for Paraguayan World Cup Victory After Model Promises to Parade Nude in Front of Them
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Paris Hilton in Police Custody in South Africa on Vuvuzela Bong Charges
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Cameron to join England sqaud
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£460 Million spent for TWO votes at the FIFA World Cup bid.
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Russians Deserved the World Cup
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Iran Are 'The Team To Watch'
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Neymar Offered 'Role' In EastEnders
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Golden Shower Dampens World Cup Final Celebrations
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Mia Hamm and Nomar Garciaparra Parents of Twin Girls
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England's bid for 2018 World Cup is on shaky ground - Harold Weinland has his say
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Claudia Schiffer Sends The German World Cup Soccer Team Nude 8 By 10 Glossies
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Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lovato Watch South Africa and Mexico Tie 1-1 In The World Cup Opener
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Beer and sex 'must be sold' at Brazil World Cup, says Fifa
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Tevez Missing World Cup: His Choice!
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Uruguayan FA claim moon is "fake"
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The Return of Paul the Octopus
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Subbuteo World Cup Latest
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Man's Terrifying Dreams Come True
