Funny story - Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers

Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers

The octopus that has successfully predicted the outcomes of several World Cup football matches, has been at BBC Broadcasting House this afternoon to screen a special programme during which he forecasts what the winning numbers will be in Saturday's N...

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Funny story - Cant Manage This

Cant Manage This

Ex-England striker, Manchester United forward and convicted drunk driver, Wayne Rooney, has sensationally revealed that he has had “managerial offers” even before he hangs up his boots. The revelations were discovered by Back and to the Left news two...

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Funny story - Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse

Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse

Medical staff have told how a man was admitted to a Johannesburg hospital this morning with a vuvuzela protruding out of his arse. The local man, who had been blowing his 'horn' at the South Africa v. Uruguay game, had, apparently, been attacked b...

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Funny story - Roy and Raheem: A Lovers Tale

Roy and Raheem: A Lovers Tale

Nobody knows who should play in the England team better than millions of unqualified (sometimes drunk) coaches up and down the country. The world cup and the England team unites the country in a way only declaring war on the Germans used to. Back and...

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Funny story - Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

Heatwave Causes Mass Delusions

For those of us basking in the recent heatwave taking care with the sun cream, there are others who are not being so careful and are risking serious heatstroke. The NHS has reported a massive increase in people who believe that England have just w...

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Funny story - Vuvuzela horns to be banned - South African World Cup

Vuvuzela horns to be banned - South African World Cup

The 'angry bee' sound of the traditional south African Vuvuzela horn is said to be driving visiting fans, players and even the referee to distraction. One English fan said "What's wrong with these people. I can't hear myself think. Where's the che...

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Funny story - Man's Terrifying Dreams Come True

Man's Terrifying Dreams Come True

A man in Battambang awoke in a cold sweat this morning after a restless night during which he had several nightmares, but this was only the start of his torture, as the disturbing things he had experienced whilst asleep, began to reveal themselves as...

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Funny story - Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat

Croatian Nationals Face Expulsion From UK In Wake Of England World Cup Defeat

There was a strange lull and an eerie silence over the country on Thursday morning as England and its people tried to come to terms with the fact that the England football team were not going to win the World Cup. Again. Gareth Southgate's men wer...

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Funny story - The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 6, Holiday in Miami

The Secret England Footballer's Countdown to Brazil 2014: Part 6, Holiday in Miami

Pop? Pop? I ask you, bloody cheeky little twerps...that's what our two teenage prodigies took to calling me. Raheem and Luke, they've hardly got a hair on their collective testicles and they had the nerve to call me "Pop". In fact knowing kids thes...

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Funny story - England win World cup!

England win World cup!

After 48 years of misery, upsets, lousy performances and overpaid Rooney, England have just finished first in the World Cup! The news has just seeped through after a donkey ridden by a Himalayan Sherpa, his five children and wife rode into Kathman...

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Funny story - Touchdown Jesus protests World Cup

Touchdown Jesus protests World Cup

A "warning from the Lord" was revealed this week in Monroe, Ohio, says a minister in nearby Ohnoes. Touchdown Jesus, a 60-foot plastic foam and fiberglass statue with arms raised high like a football referee, went up in smoke on June 14 when lightni...

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Funny story - Sepp Blatter Revealed To Be High Class Hooker

Sepp Blatter Revealed To Be High Class Hooker

FIFA has been sent into meltdown tonight as it has been revealed that their president, Sepp Blatter, is in fact a high class female prostitute. The shock revelation was discovered in the fall out of the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bidding announcement i...

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Funny story - Concern As Football Supporter Defections Reach New High

Concern As Football Supporter Defections Reach New High

Football supporters' clubs have expressed concern about the ease with which fans now switch club allegiances. 'It's changing the face of football,' lamented George "Kicker" Boot, the supporters' club chairman of, bottom of League Two, Stockport Co...

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Funny story - England Fans Advised Against Singing Two World Wars And One World Cup Song

England Fans Advised Against Singing Two World Wars And One World Cup Song

England supporters heading for Sunday's World Cup showdown with Germany in Bloemfontein have been advised against singing the traditional Two World Wars And One World Cup song to the tune of The Camptown Races by the the Football Hooligan Federation.

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Funny story - The Word in Rustenburg, South Africa is That World Cup Player Ashley Cole Has Dated Each One of The Members of The All-Girl Band, The Saturdays

The Word in Rustenburg, South Africa is That World Cup Player Ashley Cole Has Dated Each One of The Members of The All-Girl Band, The Saturdays

RUSTENBURG, South Africa - Just as some folks were actually starting to feel sorry for English footballer Ashley Cole and his lonely life A.C. (After Chezza) comes word that he has reportedly dated each of the five members of the all-girl band, The S...

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Funny story - The Return of Paul the Octopus

The Return of Paul the Octopus

With the 2018 World Cup just a few days away in Russia The BBC are bringing back Paul the Octopus to predict the results. Well not exactly the original Paul but his Great, Great, Great Grandson also called Paul and who has inherited his ancestor's ca...

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Funny story - 1966 World Cup Final Footage Was Doctored By BBC Technicians - England Have Never Won The World Cup!

1966 World Cup Final Footage Was Doctored By BBC Technicians - England Have Never Won The World Cup!

Following the BBC Frozen Planet polar bear scenes - which were actually filmed in a zoo - controversy, a probably even more profoundly shocking revelation is about to rock the nation to its very foundations. Former BBC special effects wizard, Keit...

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Funny story - USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

USA Fury As Prince Harry of England Scores In Extra Time

American soccer fans are furious after being knocked out of the World Cup thanks to a goal from third in line to the British throne, Prince Harry. Despite the scoreboard showing the goal, scored in the seventh minute of extra time, being credited...

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Funny story - The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up

The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up

I know...I know what you’re thinking. How is it that after two years in the wilderness Gormless Gareth has seen the light and called me back into the squad? I’ll tell you how. Even GG knows class when he sees it and it’s when the going gets tough...

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Funny story - Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

Owen Gole Favourite To Win Golden Boot

The World Cup is well into its final stages, and, as well as the question over its eventual winners, fans are also speculating as to who might win the Golden Boot, the accolade of being the tournament's highest scorer. Belgium eliminated Brazil la...

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