Cristiano Ronaldo: "I'm better than Messi"
Real Madrid and Portugese winger Cristiano Ronaldo insists 'Lionel Messi is the most overrated player ever to grace a football pitch.' The Portugese superstar believes he is better, and has apparent hard evidence to back this up. "Just take a l...
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Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan Has Suspended The Entire Nigerian World Cup Team
ABUJA, Nigeria - The president of Nigeria Goodluck Jonathan was so disappointed at the Nigerian National Team's performance in the South African World Cup Finals that he has suspended every single player for two years. President Jonathan said that...
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Darth Vader Lands World Cup Stadium Announcer Job
Listen carefully when Greece take on Argentina next Tuesday at the Peter Mokaba Stadium, Polokwane. As well as the relentless drone of the Vuvuzelas, a familiar voice can be heard as substitutes' details are called out, the attendance is announced an...
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Kevin Keegan Withdraws From England World Cup Squad
Bewildered England football fans were left scratching their heads yet again this morning following the announcement that now veteran striker Kevin Keegan has ruled himself out of the England World Cup squad. The devastating news broke this morning...
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World Cup Conspiracy Leaked
After the recent failed attempts by football supporters' organisations to have the vuvuzelas banned at the World Cup matches in South Africa, news has spread of a possible conspiracy to silence the vuvuzelas once and for all-by knocking all the Afric...
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VAR To Sort Out If England 1966 World Cup Goal Was In Or Not
VAR, the Video Assistant Referee, which has proved so successful in helping on-field officials reach correct decisions in football matches all over the world, is to be used to determine whether or not the ball had crossed the line in England's 1966 W...
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Paris Hilton Weed Charges Dropped By SA Court
Capello Backs 2026 World Cup Bid
Argentina Out: Diego Maradona Sticks Vuvuzela Up His Own Arse
Wayne Rooney to Quit Football
Harry Maguire To Meet Elmer Smuckmeister In Cow Pie Throwing Contest
Spain The New Arsenal?
England fail to beat Algeria due to Magic Pigeon
Jimmy Savile Implicated In Nigeria World Cup Match-fixing Scandal
England to be knocked out of 2010 World Cup
Cant Manage This
Fabio Capello The Greatest England Manager Since Steve McClaren
England Still Have Everything To Play For
Confusion reigns as Fabio picks wrong squad
Fooball bosses admitted today that "terrible mistakes" had been made when announcing England's final 23 players for the World Cup Finals. Bosses blamed Fabio Capello's inability to communicate effectively in English for the fact that Boris Johnson...
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Tevez Missing World Cup: His Choice!
Paper bag supermodel Carlos Tevez is missing the World Cup Finals, not because Argentina Coach Alejandro Sabella didn't choose him, but because he has decided to quit football and return to his first love of acting. Carlos Tevez, best known in the...
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Australia Expels Victoria Over World Cup Bid Spat
Canberra, Australia - The Australian Government has moved to expel the state of Victoria from its National borders after its attempt to derail the country's bid to host the FIFA World Cup. Deputy Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, stated that "The res...
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The Secret England Footballer: Russia 2018 Call Up
I know...I know what you’re thinking. How is it that after two years in the wilderness Gormless Gareth has seen the light and called me back into the squad? I’ll tell you how. Even GG knows class when he sees it and it’s when the going gets tough...
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Dutch ban all "octopussies" because Paul predicts a Spanish win
In a final desperate attempt to tip the scales in Holland's favour all "octopussies" have been banned out of the country. Dutch aquariums and zoos have been ordered to either turn them into calamaries, chop their tentacles off or extradite them.
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Vuvuzela Man To Join London Philharmonic Orchestra
A South African football fan who had a vuvuzela inserted up his bum after the recent World Cup match between the host nation and Uruguay, has been invited to join the brass section of the London Philharmonic Orchestra. Johnny Umbuku, 39, from Joha...
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German team arrested for cheating England in world cup
Last night the whole German team was under arrest for the most dastardly plan to deny the wonderful English team their place in the world cup. As the German team was at Johannesburg airport the ball used in the match set off bomb sensors. When the...
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Stanley Cup Bigger than World Cup, Contends NHL; FIFA Protests
EDMONTON, Alberta, Canada -- The National Hockey League, which is apparently unaware that Canada is not part of the United States, or vice versa, today presented indisputable evidence from a study in the making for the last three months show...
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Somalian footy fans face the death sentence if they are caught watching the World Cup!
Somalian extreme Islamic nutters will impose the death sentence if any Somalians are caught watching the World Cup games in South Africa. Banning the World Cup is an extreme Islamic Somalian ruling and the reason is, World Cup soccer is not an Isl...
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Historic match-fix plot at World Cup Final
Details are emerging of match-fixing on all sides in preparation for today's World Cup final in Brazil. The entire World Cup is now thought to be an elaborate propaganda stunt, promoted by a resurgent Angela Merkel to assure the German people of the...
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Paul The Octopus Predicts Saturday's National Lottery Numbers
The octopus that has successfully predicted the outcomes of several World Cup football matches, has been at BBC Broadcasting House this afternoon to screen a special programme during which he forecasts what the winning numbers will be in Saturday's N...
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Air France Refuses To Carry France Squad
The scandal that has engulfed the France World Cup squad entered new territory this afternoon as the French national airline, Air France, refused to carry the team back to France. The decision by the French FA to withdraw from the World Cup has no...
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Vuvuzela Found Stuck Up Man's Arse
Medical staff have told how a man was admitted to a Johannesburg hospital this morning with a vuvuzela protruding out of his arse. The local man, who had been blowing his 'horn' at the South Africa v. Uruguay game, had, apparently, been attacked b...
Read full storyFunny World Cup Headlines
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South African Rubber Producers Brace Themselves For English Invasion
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Shakira To Sing The Official World Cup Soccer Song "Waka Waka"
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South Africans Walking Around With Vuvuzelas Up Their Arses
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ITV HD Viewers still think the USA won
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Landon Donovan And Clint Dempsey Offer England Team A Lifeline In Germany Clash
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England Players To Receive 'Kick In The Balls' For Poor World Cup Performances
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Argentine World Cup Squad Rushed to Hospital with Back Problems after Bending Down for Maradona's Bear Hugs After every Goal.
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Brazil Economists Say Brazil Loss is Victory for Brazil Economy
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Britain defeated by Compare the Meerkat in World Cup bid
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Barçelona's Lionel Messi Leaves Fan In Tears
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Arturo "Thunder" Gatti, 37, Former World Boxing Champion, Found Murdered
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Siphiwo Ntshebe World Cup Song To Be Sung By Nelson Mandela
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Rooney Sensationally Ruled Out Of World Cup
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Poor England Performance Blamed on 'Eccentric' Training Sessions
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Elf n' Safety Cite Manchester Bloke for Draping Neighborhood In Giant St. George Flag Killing at least 22 Travelers!
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Superb England Crush Algeria
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English Footballers Hope They Never Hear A Vuvuzela Again!
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Paris Hilton in Police Custody in South Africa on Vuvuzela Bong Charges
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Nigerian E-Mail Fraud Money to Bankroll World-Class Soccer Team
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Venezuela To Sue South Africa Over Vuvuzela Mix-up
