The "Hooligan" World Cup has started earlier than planned because the favourites, England, Poland, Germany and Argentinia are worried about being attacked by rampant Zulu's or machete bearing Tutsi's.
It was planned to start on the same day as the official World Cup, but participants decided to infiltrate South Africa via Dubai (?) and begin proceedings earlier.
England entering a weakened team due to spoil-sport Brit authorities confiscating their star players passports were immedaitely kicked in the bollocks, had their heads smashed open and retreated, defeated, their conquerors, Poland will now meet Germany in a local "Derby" which promises to be a right fucking "kick the shit out of Ausschwitz revenge party"!
Russia, secret favs for this years title, strengthened by skinheaded neo-nazis met Argentina and thumped the shit out of them.
The quarter-final lie-up is now Germany v Poland, Russia v Andorra (represented by skinhead sheep-shaggers, tough bastards) Zulus v Tutsi's (machete blood and honour here) and last not least Poofy Holland v arch rivals Belgium (star player is kiddie molestor Marc Dutroux, evil bastards them Belgiums).
Jaggedone and his dedicated skinhead CIA (cockroach infilration army) will report back next week and let you all know if the Krauts did an Auschwitz on their neighbours and if Andorra shagged the shit out of nazi-Russia.
The result of Zulu's v Tutsi's is more difficult as there will be no-one left to tell the tale apart from Jaggedone's star CIA reporter, very bloody, Sir BovverBoot Smooth-Headbutt!
