Sensational news has just been revealed, in that Emile Heskey, the man that many did not want to travel with the England squad to the World Cup Finals, is in the pay of the Algerian mafia.
Although generally classed as a donkey when it comes to football, with the scoring ability of a twelve week old corpse in a nunnery, his antics prior to the world cup have revealed his true allegiances.
Many think that Algeria have no chance in qualifying from their group, but inside sources have indicated that the Algerian Mafia have paid certain players off in each squad to knobble the other players during training.
Heskey may have been a little too blatant in that he has so far injured Rio Ferdinand and David James, though many pundits feel the latter injury can only help England's chances. Only quick feet from Wayne Rooney prevented the England star from suffering a similar injury as Heskey dived in during a routine training session, and now he has been investigated and discovered to be an Algerian mole.
England are not the only team to be knobbled by the Algerians, as Didier Drogbar has also been ruled out after Marcus Tulio Tanaka fractured the Ivorian's elbow during a friendly game with Japan that saw a ninja style attack on the Chelsea striker.
FIFA watchdogs are investigating every suspected injury and watching the betting patterns for Algeria, and may throw the Algerians out of the competition altogether if the allegations are found to be true.
