LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber was having lunch at a local Jack-in-The-Box when he received a text message from his manager.
He was informing him that the president of North Korea Kim Jong Il had just offered him 10 million Wons [$698,913 U.S.] to perform at The World Cup Soccer Finals.
Bieber was told that he would be appearing at the halftime of the soccer game between The Ivory Coast and North Korea along with England's sexy Cheryl Cole and America's she male Lady Gaga.
Justin got so excited he almost choked on his 'Ultimate Cheeseburger.' He texted his manager right back and told him that he was supposed to go out on a date with one of the Tisdale sisters on that particular date, but that they'll (she'll) just have to wait until he gets back from South Africa.
Justin was also quite excited about getting to meet his favorite soccer player North Korea's Hong Yong Jo.
Bierber said that he first became a fan of the 27-year-old goalgetter when he read that Yong Jo knew the words to every single one of his songs in English, North Korean, and Yiddish.
Justin emailed Hong Yong Jo and invited him to attend his concert, as his special guest, when he appears in Pyongyang's beautiful state of the art arena The Grains of Rice Arena.
Cheryl Cole said that she will be traveling to South Africa with her new American boyfriend Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough. Chezza noted with a great big smile on her gorgeous looking face that her and Derek will be sharing a hotel room with one bed.
Lady Gaga said that she would be traveling to South Africa with all kinds of weird looking hats, outfits, shoes, makeup, and with her ever present crotch package aka her bibbidy boo (taco tickler).
In other news. Velveeta Kelly Flymeister, the sister of Emmett Kelly, the world's most famous circus clown, writes in her book "Running Off To Join The Circus - The True, True Story of Emmett Kelly," that growing up her little brother always smelled kind of 'funny.'