FIFA - "We'll move the goalposts at Rio 2014"

Written by Jimbo123

Monday, 12 July 2010

image for FIFA - "We'll move the goalposts at Rio 2014"
"In a heavy defeat situation, players will need crampons and ropes to stay on the pitch"

FIFA have admitted they are looking at ways to make the next world cup more entertaining including widening the goal.

A spokesman commented - "Whilst there was plenty of shooting going on outside the ground last night, there wasn't much going on in it. We're looking at lots of different options such as allowing players to take psycho-active drugs at half time if it's 0-0, but widening the goal from 24 to 30 feet is also seen as an attractive option."

Football boffins have estimated that this 17% increase in goal space could mean as much as 3 times as many goals leading to more interesting scores such as 4-3 or 10-9.

Another idea is to slope the pitch in favour of the losing team. FIFA commented "If a team are 4-1 down we can 'pitch' the pitch to a 1 in 4 gradient - a cross between pinball and Coopers Hill cheese rolling, although we admit spectators at one end won't be able to see much."

Separately FIFA has agreed to accept charitable status and pledged to make private bank statements of all directors available to the public.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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