How England Won the World Cup

Funny story written by j.w.

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

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Spain avenges England

We can now forget the Spanish Armada. Our friends in Spain have avenged the English lads by beating our old enemy Germany.

'Viva Espana!' rings across the country and relief that maybe in the next World Cup the sound of the guitar will replace the one note drone of the Vuvuzela.

Of course, our lads should have been there to play Spain. We should have won our first game against the USA, except for the temporary paralysis affecting our goalkeeper. We would have led the group and we would not then have had to play Germany at all, as Spain have put them out. We should really be playing Spain in the final!

And we really won that game against Germany anyway. With that second goal our second half tactics would not have needed to attack so much. This left our defence vulnerable. We should then have surely scored the winning goal in extra time as Capello gave the team some oranges to beat the tiredness in their legs.

You may think this is wishful thinking but it is the opinion of all fair minded soccer enthusiasts who have an objective view of the World Cup.

In fact, we would have beaten Spain in the Final 3 - 0 with a hatrick from Rooney. It was so close; our dreams shattered by a linesman who shut his eyes to the truth at a vital moment. In fact, in reality, we won the World Cup.

Let's drink to that!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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