Victoria Beckham, the former Posh Spice Girl, is busy trying to establish a new image as a Flat Chested Business Woman in order to gain credibility with her "Brains over Boobs" campaign.
The incredible inflating Posh, once described as a barely a 'snippet' in the boob department by former boyfriends, ballooned up to a 34DD and was usually seen wearing her boobs up about her Adam's apple during the Spice Girls heyday.
Seen just the other night in Hollywood, the emaciated Victoria looked like she was going, and not coming, with her newly created 'flat look' , dare I use the phrase 'boasting' her 34b svelte chest accented by a plunging neckline and NO cleavage.
Husband David is away in Italy kicking around the pitch for AC Milan while the Blonde Splinter is making the rounds in Follywood pursuing her new fashion career pushing her own asexual designs.
Hollywood gossip columnists with a passing knowledge of the WAG cabal in the UK, said that if more of the Honeys Flocking around Footies took Posh's lead, cheating would probably come to a halt in the island nation as 'the boys' could now see the same thing in the locker room as they could in the current 'free market' economy; mini man boobs!
"New Oasis Bar & Grill" accountant Hal A. Peno said, "I think she's missed the mark again. England wants more TITS not less" as he pointed to the phenomenal success of the the Oasis since it went low brow from high brow and away from two failures when it featured literary poetry readings, darts, and serious political discussions. "My advice to Posh? Pump 'em back up, Baby!"
Gossip wags, not WAGS, are predicting that it won't be long before you see Dave and Victoria in a front page expose featuring the famous kicker conoodling with more than one of Silvio Berlusconi's lucious cabinet members in after hour 'parliamentary' discussions in Milan.
The Italian PM is not shy about surrounding himself with well endowed supporters and pool party mates, as he continues to celebrate every politician's sudden discovery of that marvelous creation, The Penis!
Soccer tensions are mounting in Italy as Silvio has let it be known that he is expecting the arrival of Olympic Sensation, the Striking Viking, Ivan Phuque to visit soon, and he is said to be cooking up a scheme to bring her into his cabinet and also as a stalking horse to entrap David into a life long contract as the headliner for Italian soccer.
Sources close to David said it probably won't take much to get the star sexually motivated since he "hasn't been able to get a grip on anything substantial for some time!"
Also there are the sponsors to consider. After viewing recent pix of Posh, one major sponsor is said to be concerned that with Posh's new short haircut, and her flat chest look, 'David may now be seen as coming out of the closet! This certainly won't do when we're trying to push all his manly perfume, and the masculine handbags in our new spring lineup!"
A reporter caught up with Amy Winehouse who was unaware of the latest boob news, but seemed only mildly curious asking dreamily, "I wonder what the Fuck the Bitch is doing with all her old rags?"
