Melania Trump, Director of the Nation’s “Be Best” Movement, Honors a Great Old Woman
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The country’s first lady made a very rare speaking appearance on the White House lawn. She was honoring a woman who had recently fought off three bullies who tried to steal her “Trump For King” political button. Melania told...
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Adam Schiff caught driving through Washington D.C. with chicken on his shoulder
Caught and advised by police on problems with a bird on his shoulder, House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff has stated he was inspired by a Wisconsin man, detained last weekend. This 42-year-old resident of Wisconsin was arrested afte...
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George W. Bush possesses the Ring of Power
Washington -- The world was stunned today when President George W. Bush was found to be in possession of the One Ring to Rule Them All.
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First Lady Laura Bush Looking Buff
WASHINGTON (AP) Wherever First Lady Laura Bush travels these days, people are remarking at how wonderful she looks. Visitors to the White House have noticed quite a change in Laura Bush's appearance. "She looks so… uh… healthy!&quo...
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Matt Lesko arrested for selling Federal Government secrets
Washington DC - Last week, Matthew Lesko was taken into custody by FBI agents. Lesko was unavailable for comment, however FBI representative Chambers had this to say: "Mr. Lesko has been soliciting government secrets for years. Right under our n...
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President Denies Codpiece
Washington D.C. -- The White House press office issued a release denying assertions that George Bush was wearing a codpiece last May when he alighted from a Navy S-3B Viking fighter onto the deck of the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln.
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Mapquest Acquires Several Key Interstate Highways!
Nelson Mandela Memorial Attendance Cost Nation Over $M For President To Attend
Bigfoot found, shot down in cold blood
Afrophysicists Discover Link to Dark Matter
TV's "The View" Announces 2016 Presidential Bid
Chris Matthews: The Unauthorized Biography
Republicans Roll Out Carly Fiorina Robot
FCC Fines Big Bird $1 Million for a Misunderstanding
Bush Administration Strikes Deal to Change Name of Convenience Store Chain
Chris Brown Prohibited From Ever Setting Foot In Washington D.C.
Washington Nationals Fans Vow To Do Away With The Wave
Congress To Repeal Law Of Gravity
Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed
Thursday, Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump outlined bold initiatives to finance the construction of an impenetrable barrier to the southern border of the United States. In a joint venture with the Church & Dwight Company, the first stage of the wall...
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Scan THIS: New Tattoo Identity System on the Way
WASHINGTON, DC-Removing clothing, pat-downs and body cavity searches at airports across the nation will soon become a thing of the past. A new procedure will replace the antiquated airport screening process when recently passed legislation is enacted...
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U.S. Government Announces Going Out-of-Business Sale
Although the United States government’s historic 35-day shutdown will soon be coming to an end, because the financial repercussions of the shutdown have done irreparable damage, the government has announced a going-out-of-business sale. Vice Presi...
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Osama Bin Laden Will Attend Reagan Funeral
Washington (AP) Osama Bin Laden is going to try to attend Ronald Reagan's funeral this week. The CIA reports a high level of chatter on several Middle East channels that indicate the terrorist leader will alter his appearance in order to show up with...
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FDA warns of the dangers of excessive nose picking
Seattle, Washington - Jason Peters had a habit. It wasn't a very nice habit. His mother told him to use a Kleenex, but he just wouldn't listen. Unlike the nursery rhyme, when he stuck in his thumb he didn't get a plum... he got his own eyeball.
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Confirmed: Trump and Biden stormed Ukraine with violence and kicking over trash cans
Punxsutawney Phil has come forward in September this year to say: “Winter is coming on now—not just six more weeks from February 2!” New scandal is breaking onto Washington. Have current and previous Washington Oval Office residents been illeg...
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President George Bush Admits to Hot Affair with Geena Davis
WASHINGTON --- In a stunning announcement from the White House, it was confirmed that President Bush has been having a long-term relationship with actress Geena Davis. The couple surprised Washington insiders last evening when they appeared together...
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George Bush Claims He is Descended from Jesus Christ and Akhnaten and is Not "Human Trash"
WASHINGTON (AP)-President George Bush returned from the fourth Summit of the Americas held in Mar del Plata, Argentina on Monday with his tail between his legs, stung at being called "human trash" by Argentine soccer legend Diego Maradona, and called...
Read full storyFunny Washington Headlines
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9-11 Commission: Iraq Invasion Was "Wardrobe Malfunction"
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Vice Admiral James Stockdale Begins Stumping as Third-Party VP Candidate
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Alan Greenspan Charged With Killing Off Middle Class, Setting Stage for Economic Collapse
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President George Bush Drinking Again!
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George Bush admits he needs more human intelligence
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Rapture Index at meltdown as Feds prepare TheoCon cull
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Mr. Peanut Goes to Washington
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Secret NSA meeting on transparency blocked and bamboozled
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New Weapon in U.S. Arsenal in Fight Against Terror
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Meditation to Become Compulsory in US Prisons?
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FCC Attacks Muppets
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US Air Travelers Required to Fly In Their Underwear
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George Bush Blames Bonzo Bush for Lousy New Orleans Relief Efforts
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World Leader Must ask Aide for Permission to Pee
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Wall Street Flees from New Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke
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President Bush Recovering From Recent Surgery
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Cheney gives unprecedented tour of "Veep Cave."
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Zoombies overrun Washington DC
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UN Inspectors' Report to Confirm Illicit Use of Wig by John Kerry
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Dog with dual pipe assemblage being studied closely at the Clinton residence
