Fauci alternative persona emerges
Suddenly emerging, and revealed here through diligent investigative work, a split personality disorder in National Health Advisor, Mr. Fauci, has startled some observers. Others find the two personas "entirely consistent." Depicted above, Mr. Fauc…
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President George Bush Admits to Hot Affair with Geena Davis
WASHINGTON --- In a stunning announcement from the White House, it was confirmed that President Bush has been having a long-term relationship with actress Geena Davis. The couple surprised Washington insiders last evening when they appeared together...
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George W. Bush possesses the Ring of Power
Washington -- The world was stunned today when President George W. Bush was found to be in possession of the One Ring to Rule Them All.
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Bush To Eliminate Seperation of Church and State, Claims to Be "Divine"
Washington DC: Speaking from the White House Press Room, President Bush announced today that the US will do away with the notion of Church and State.
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President George Bush Drinking Again!
WASHINGTON (AP) Under withering political pressure, George Bush has been sneaking shots of whiskey to try to calm his nerves. With the entire country finally figuring out that George Bush is the most inept president since Hoover, Mr. Bush has begun...
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Osama Bin Laden Will Attend Reagan Funeral
Washington (AP) Osama Bin Laden is going to try to attend Ronald Reagan's funeral this week. The CIA reports a high level of chatter on several Middle East channels that indicate the terrorist leader will alter his appearance in order to show up with...
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New Year Delayed by One Second
Vice Admiral James Stockdale Begins Stumping as Third-Party VP Candidate
Ralph Nader Joins Al Qeda
Congress To Repeal Law Of Gravity
George Bush Acknowledges That He is "The Devil"
George Bush To Star in Sequel to ‘Brokeback Mountain'
Red Panda Explains Timeout from the National Zoo
Joe Rogan to join Julian Assange at Belmarsh Prison
Washington's Newest Hot Rumor
Paula Zahn Has Orgasm On Live TV!
Four Years of Legislation Down the Drain, Bush to Blame
Government issues urgent individual security guidelines
First Lady Laura Bush Looking Buff
WASHINGTON (AP) Wherever First Lady Laura Bush travels these days, people are remarking at how wonderful she looks. Visitors to the White House have noticed quite a change in Laura Bush's appearance. "She looks so… uh… healthy!&quo...
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FDA warns of the dangers of excessive nose picking
Seattle, Washington - Jason Peters had a habit. It wasn't a very nice habit. His mother told him to use a Kleenex, but he just wouldn't listen. Unlike the nursery rhyme, when he stuck in his thumb he didn't get a plum... he got his own eyeball.
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Liquor Store Registers Bush Voters
Seattle, Washington - A cease and desist order was issued by the Superior Court of King County August 31st after a liquor store manager began registering voters for George W. Bush and the republican party. Angry over Hemp-Fest participants allegedly...
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George W. Bush announces to world, "I'm an asshole!"
Washington, D.C. -- President George W. Bush held a press conference today that will go down as one of the strangest moments in U.S. history. After a few opening remarks by his Press Secretary, the President took the podium, looked around for a mome...
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Presidential Contenders to Square Off on XBOX Live
Washington, DC - In an interesting twist on the tried and true debate model, The Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) has announced that President Bush and Senator Kerry will be competing against one and other during a series of extended gaming s...
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George Bush Claims He is Descended from Jesus Christ and Akhnaten and is Not "Human Trash"
WASHINGTON (AP)-President George Bush returned from the fourth Summit of the Americas held in Mar del Plata, Argentina on Monday with his tail between his legs, stung at being called "human trash" by Argentine soccer legend Diego Maradona, and called...
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Scientific Study II: "Poodles are Evil"
Gonad, Washington - After much study and collaboration, historians and scientist alike, have come to the conclusion, that poodles are indeed, evil. (This is a fact that many of us have known all along.) Poodles, in their words, are the spawn of Sat...
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Matt Lesko arrested for selling Federal Government secrets
Washington DC - Last week, Matthew Lesko was taken into custody by FBI agents. Lesko was unavailable for comment, however FBI representative Chambers had this to say: "Mr. Lesko has been soliciting government secrets for years. Right under our n...
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Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed
Thursday, Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump outlined bold initiatives to finance the construction of an impenetrable barrier to the southern border of the United States. In a joint venture with the Church & Dwight Company, the first stage of the wall...
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Referendum to Eliminate Electoral College Shot Down by Electoral College
WASHINGTON. All 538 electors of the U.S. Electoral College unanimously vetoed a permanent recess of the U.S. Electoral College and ban on all Electoral College methods of carrying out national elections today. Earlier this month the landslide refer...
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World Leader Must ask Aide for Permission to Pee
Washington - Some liberals claim George W. Bush doesn't utter a word that Karl Rover doesn't script for him. Apparently the leader of the free world is equally afraid to take a bathroom break without obtaining permission from Rover, or his...
Read full storyFunny Washington Headlines
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Osama Bin Laden Will Attend Reagan Funeral
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Clinton Book Sees Second Printing
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Presidential Contenders to Square Off on XBOX Live
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Republican's Worry: Bush Loses Debate to Stem Cell
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Referendum to Eliminate Electoral College Shot Down by Electoral College
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Liquor Store Registers Bush Voters
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President George Bush Admits to Hot Affair with Geena Davis
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World Leader Must ask Aide for Permission to Pee
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George Bush Claims He is Descended from Jesus Christ and Akhnaten and is Not "Human Trash"
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Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed
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Bush To Eliminate Seperation of Church and State, Claims to Be "Divine"
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Matt Lesko arrested for selling Federal Government secrets
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George W. Bush possesses the Ring of Power
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George W. Bush announces to world, "I'm an asshole!"
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Scientific Study II: "Poodles are Evil"
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First Lady Laura Bush Looking Buff
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President George Bush Drinking Again!
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Laura Bush pregnant?
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FDA warns of the dangers of excessive nose picking
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Fauci alternative persona emerges
