First Lady Laura Bush Looking Buff
WASHINGTON (AP) Wherever First Lady Laura Bush travels these days, people are remarking at how wonderful she looks. Visitors to the White House have noticed quite a change in Laura Bush's appearance. "She looks so… uh… healthy!&quo...
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Osama Bin Laden Will Attend Reagan Funeral
Washington (AP) Osama Bin Laden is going to try to attend Ronald Reagan's funeral this week. The CIA reports a high level of chatter on several Middle East channels that indicate the terrorist leader will alter his appearance in order to show up with...
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George W. Bush possesses the Ring of Power
Washington -- The world was stunned today when President George W. Bush was found to be in possession of the One Ring to Rule Them All.
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President George Bush Drinking Again!
WASHINGTON (AP) Under withering political pressure, George Bush has been sneaking shots of whiskey to try to calm his nerves. With the entire country finally figuring out that George Bush is the most inept president since Hoover, Mr. Bush has begun...
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Russell Crowe Was Target of Denzel Washington and Julia Roberts Plot
HOLLYWOOD - Russell Crowe, who should have beaten Denzel Washington like a rented mule in the 2002 Oscar race, was the target of a plot hatched not by al-Qaida, as the besotted Crowe is now telling people, but by Denzel Washington and co-conspirator...
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Paula Zahn Has Orgasm On Live TV!
WASHINGTON (CNN) - Cable News Network news anchor Paula Zahn had an unusual interview Wednesday evening with presidential candidate John Kerry. Discussing the event with Comedy Central's Jon Stewart, the beautiful star of the CNN newsroom said that t...
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MLK Memorial Statue May Get Updated After Riots
Laura Bush pregnant?
George Bush Acknowledges That He is "The Devil"
U.S. Government Announces Going Out-of-Business Sale
Anna Nicole Smith Autopsy Points To Murder
FCC Fines Big Bird $1 Million for a Misunderstanding
Los Angeles Lakers Player Luke Walton Appears To Be Heading To The Washington Wizards
Euan Blair quarantined in London
Former Boston Celtics Player Comes Out of The Sports Closet and Admits He's Gay
Scientific Study II: "Poodles are Evil"
New Weapon in U.S. Arsenal in Fight Against Terror
George Bush Claims He is Descended from Jesus Christ and Akhnaten and is Not "Human Trash"
Vice Admiral James Stockdale Begins Stumping as Third-Party VP Candidate
Washington, DC - Vice Admiral James Bond Stockdale (ret.), Ross Perot's running mate during the 1992 Presidential election, today announced his plan to run as an independent Vice Presidential candidate. In an unusual step, Admiral Stockdale is runni...
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FDA warns of the dangers of excessive nose picking
Seattle, Washington - Jason Peters had a habit. It wasn't a very nice habit. His mother told him to use a Kleenex, but he just wouldn't listen. Unlike the nursery rhyme, when he stuck in his thumb he didn't get a plum... he got his own eyeball.
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Matt Lesko arrested for selling Federal Government secrets
Washington DC - Last week, Matthew Lesko was taken into custody by FBI agents. Lesko was unavailable for comment, however FBI representative Chambers had this to say: "Mr. Lesko has been soliciting government secrets for years. Right under our n...
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President Denies Codpiece
Washington D.C. -- The White House press office issued a release denying assertions that George Bush was wearing a codpiece last May when he alighted from a Navy S-3B Viking fighter onto the deck of the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln.
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Scan THIS: New Tattoo Identity System on the Way
WASHINGTON, DC-Removing clothing, pat-downs and body cavity searches at airports across the nation will soon become a thing of the past. A new procedure will replace the antiquated airport screening process when recently passed legislation is enacted...
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Washington Under Pressure To Drop The Name 'Washington'
As the tidal wave of race equality surges on, gathering pace and momentum, it's been revealed that very name of the capital, itself, is in the sights of the Black Lives Matter movement, and, some might say, with good cause. Washington, DC, was nam…
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Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed
Thursday, Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump outlined bold initiatives to finance the construction of an impenetrable barrier to the southern border of the United States. In a joint venture with the Church & Dwight Company, the first stage of the wall...
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President George Bush Admits to Hot Affair with Geena Davis
WASHINGTON --- In a stunning announcement from the White House, it was confirmed that President Bush has been having a long-term relationship with actress Geena Davis. The couple surprised Washington insiders last evening when they appeared together...
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Washington Redskins To Change Their Name To Something Completely Different
The Washington Redskins, having come in for criticism in relation to their name, which could be said to be an affront to Native American Indians, are seriously considering making a major change. Slated for the derogatory name 'Redskins', the franc…
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Tom DeLay Lashes Out in Farewell Speech
WASHINGTON (AP)--Tom Delay, the Senior Republican of the House of Representatives has bowed out of his 21-year political career with a defiant and unrepentant 2-hour speech defending the "culture of corruption" of Republican conservatism and his own...
Read full storyFunny Washington Headlines
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U.S. Secret Service Use of President George W. Bush Clones, to Act as Body Doubles, Questioned
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Urban Survivalists Thinning Out, Placed On Endangered Species List
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Tenet quits CIA, joins Indian tribes
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Bigfoot found, shot down in cold blood
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George W. Bush: "I don't think I'm gay!"
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"Grand Theft Auto" gets a test drive from Bill Clinton
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Bush Taps Bin Laden for FEMA Post
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Senator Craig to be spokesman for Jiffy Lube
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King Paul senile, alleges Prince Richard
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Adam Schiff caught driving through Washington D.C. with chicken on his shoulder
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TSA Announces Corporate Sponsor Program to Boost '05 Budget
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USDA: Cocaine a "Fresh Vegetable"
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Former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry Announces Bid, Kool-Aid Endorsement
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Paraguay Joins Iraqi Coalition, Launches PR Blitz
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Bush Sees Iraqi Democracy Spreading
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Alan Greenspan Charged With Killing Off Middle Class, Setting Stage for Economic Collapse
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Laura Bush Feels Neglected
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Alan Greenspan Rants Against Threat to US Dollar Due to Iran and PetroEuro
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Pentagon Spends $1 Billion for a Hammer
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George W. Bush Ousted In Military Coup
