George W. Bush possesses the Ring of Power
Washington -- The world was stunned today when President George W. Bush was found to be in possession of the One Ring to Rule Them All.
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Supreme Court nominee John Roberts is Confident
WASHINGTON (AP) Since his nomination to the Supreme Court by President Bush, John Roberts has been living large. John has a big new spring of confidence, a generous swelling of pride, and the one thing every man deserves: a little well-earned respec...
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Osama Bin Laden Will Attend Reagan Funeral
Washington (AP) Osama Bin Laden is going to try to attend Ronald Reagan's funeral this week. The CIA reports a high level of chatter on several Middle East channels that indicate the terrorist leader will alter his appearance in order to show up with...
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First Lady Laura Bush Looking Buff
WASHINGTON (AP) Wherever First Lady Laura Bush travels these days, people are remarking at how wonderful she looks. Visitors to the White House have noticed quite a change in Laura Bush's appearance. "She looks so… uh… healthy!&quo...
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World Leader Must ask Aide for Permission to Pee
Washington - Some liberals claim George W. Bush doesn't utter a word that Karl Rover doesn't script for him. Apparently the leader of the free world is equally afraid to take a bathroom break without obtaining permission from Rover, or his...
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George Bush Takes Responsibility for Katrina Blunders and Resigns
WASHINGTON--President Bush has finally taken responsibility for federal government blundering in coping with Hurricane Katrina and the much delayed relief efforts and announced his resignation on Wednesday. He also admitted that the calamity was evid...
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President George Bush Drinking Again!
President Denies Codpiece
Another Obama Slippery Slope: Vail Forced to Shut Down Ski Resort so Michelle & Friends Can Go Tubing!
Senator Craig to be spokesman for Jiffy Lube
Abramoff: "Bush and Cheney showered with gifts"
Bush Announces Nominee to the Supreme Court
United States Government Declares Bankruptcy, Seeks Protection from Creditors
Judge Alito successfully whistles Andy Griffith theme, nomination virtually Assured
Bush No Stranger to Arab Sensitivities
Bush Memoir: "If I Did It"
FCC Fines Big Bird $1 Million for a Misunderstanding
Washington D.C. Smoky Back Room
Congress bans Midget Adoption
WASHINGTON- Midget Rights groups around the nation were devastated last night after Congress passed a Bill banning Midget Adoption.
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Trump Plan Leaves Reporters Wall Eyed
Thursday, Presidente Donaldo Juan Trump outlined bold initiatives to finance the construction of an impenetrable barrier to the southern border of the United States. In a joint venture with the Church & Dwight Company, the first stage of the wall...
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New Men's Organization Calls for Limitation of Colors
A new group for men, calling itself "The Color Keepers," has announced a march and rally in Washington, D.C. for Monday, September 5, 2005. This date falls on the observance of Labor Day. When asked about the reasons for the rally and march, group...
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Paula Zahn Has Orgasm On Live TV!
WASHINGTON (CNN) Cable News Network news anchor Paula Zahn had an unusual interview Wednesday evening with presidential candidate John Kerry. Discu...
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Afrophysicists Discover Link to Dark Matter
A link to solving the mystery of dark matter which as bedeviled physicists for decades has been solved posthumously it seems by Chuck Brown the acknowledged Godfather of Go-go music in the Washington D.C. area in the mid 1960's. While originally loca...
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FDA warns of the dangers of excessive nose picking
Seattle, Washington - Jason Peters had a habit. It wasn't a very nice habit. His mother told him to use a Kleenex, but he just wouldn't listen. Unlike the nursery rhyme, when he stuck in his thumb he didn't get a plum... he got his own eyeball.
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Republicans Roll Out Carly Fiorina Robot
Atlanta, GA - On Tuesday, the Republican Party rolled out it's new robot candidate, Carly Fiorina. The unveiling of their newest, multi-million dollar invention indeed seemed to fool a lot of TV viewers into thinking it was human, but the folks over...
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Washington DC Paleontology Conference Unveils New Species
Washington DC: In August 2008, the media was so busy focusing on the major party political conventions in Denver CO and Minneapolis MN that they missed the Paleontology Conference held here. The fossilized remains of several new species of dinosaur have been unearthed in digs around the country. Republicanosaur: This creature was once thought to be extinct. However, it has been seen alive...
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Alan Greenspan Charged With Killing Off Middle Class, Setting Stage for Economic Collapse
WASHINGTON-Alan Greenspan was arrested on Monday at the US Federal Reserve and formally charged with killing off large sections of the American middle class after police read the new book "Greenspan's Fraud" by best-selling author and Economics Profe...
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Matt Lesko arrested for selling Federal Government secrets
Washington DC - Last week, Matthew Lesko was taken into custody by FBI agents. Lesko was unavailable for comment, however FBI representative Chambers had this to say: "Mr. Lesko has been soliciting government secrets for years. Right under our n...
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H.R. 2829 Politicians Advance Bill Targeting Taxpayer Funding for Government:
(Washington,DC) - A U.S. House committee Thursday approved a bill linking taxpayer contributions to the Treasury to significant financial, regulatory and other reforms, one day after presidential candidate Ron Paul said he would sign the measure if i...
Read full storyFunny Washington Headlines
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U.S. Justice Department Denies Any Knowledge of the Law
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Ted Nugent to Head Homeland Security
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Serve Your Country Proudly!
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FDA: Marijuana Pain Killer to be Sold in Drug Stores and Supermarkets
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Chinese President causes confusion for Bush administration
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Troops of The Burning Legion Threaten U.S. Capitol; New Evil-doers will be crushed, Bush says
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Ron Paul Ads Visible From Space
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McCain Denies being a Wart Monger
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Michelle Obama Reveals Irritants Of Living In The White House
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John McCain's Final Gift to GOP Free 3-D Spines
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Clinton Book Sees Second Printing
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Government issues urgent individual security guidelines
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Semi-autonomous CIA drone snuffs vacationing al-Qaeda operative
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U.S. Sends Jedis to Iraq
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Scan THIS: New Tattoo Identity System on the Way
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President Says He Approved Secret Spying to Nail His Enemies
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Abramoff: "The Midnight Special" is Poodle Brothers' swansong
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Rumsfeld Serenades American People With Popular Folk Song
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Mafia Moves US Capital To Chicago
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Mr. Peanut Goes to Washington
