Written by Morgan Truce

Sunday, 30 May 2004

image for Paula Zahn Has Orgasm On Live TV!

Cable News Network news anchor Paula Zahn had an unusual interview Wednesday evening with presidential candidate John Kerry. Discussing the event with Comedy Central's Jon Stewart, the beautiful star of the CNN newsroom said that the interview with Senator Kerry was going very well for the first half of the show, "I really had no idea what was about to happen!"

"After the commercial, I was asking Senator Kerry about his service in Vietnam, and when he started talking about being on a small navy boat and shooting his weapon---my mind just started to wander. I always make a habit of paying attention to the people I interview, but when Kerry started talking about that gun going off... and that water spraying up... the next thing I knew I was very, very excited. Oh, I'm just so embarrassed... I cannot say what happened next!"

By this time, Jon Stewart was screaming, "Yes? Yes? What happened next Paula?"

"Well, I don't understand what happened... it's not like I'm attracted to Senator Kerry, but the more he spoke, the more I got this unbelievable tingling feeling, and then... this very warm sensation came... and...


Producer: "Mr. Stewart, we just hit the delay button. You're off the air! Please tell Ms. Zahn to leave our studio at once!"


Jon Stuart, recently stung by an abysmal rating on a recent Spoof viewer sex poll, was hoping Paula Zahn would do a repeat performance of "Ohhh!" on his TV show. Bad luck, Jon.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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