Rare Nappy-Headed Nubians Sighted Once Again In Washington

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 24 November 2020

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Nappy-Headed Nubian

BILLINGSGATE POST: With Sleepy Joe Biden apparently winning the presidential election and making appointments to his administration, Washingtonians are atwitter over the sightings of rare Nappy-Headed Nubians in the White House area once again.

The specie; crispus capillus nubius, are indigenous to the northern Sudan and southern Egypt, and did not inhabit North America when discovered by Columbus. A related specie that is more commonly seen in the Washington area, the Dreadlock-Headed Nubian, exhorresco obfirmo nubio, also came from Africa and has very dark feathers and is usually seen with hooped earrings and braided or extended feathers.

Ornithologists from the Smithsonian Institute trace the Nappy-Headed specie back to Nubia, the homeland of Africa's earliest black civilization with a history which can be traced from 2,000 B.C. onward. In antiquity, Nubia was a land of great natural wealth, of gold mines, ebony, ivory and incense, which was always prized by her neighbors. With a history which can be traced to the dawn of civilization, the Nubians first settled along the banks of the Nile from Aswan. Along this great river, they developed one of the oldest and greatest civilizations in Africa.

The Nappy-Headed Nubians and the Dreadlock-Headed Nubians conquered each other many times in their history. But with the influx of Arabs to Egypt and Sudan, there was a suppression of the Nubian identity following the collapse of the last Nubian kingdom in 1900 B.C. A major part of the modern Nubian population were totally arabized and were converts to Islam. The unique characteristics of the Nappy-Headed Nubian are their feathers, strut and ability to mimic music by rapping.

The Nubians that have been sighted in the Washington area appear to have these same characteristics. and can’t wait to strut their stuff when Sleepy Joe Biden is inaugurated in January.

Slim: “I can’t wait till the United States receives Banana Republic status under Biden.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Nicaragua, here we come!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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