Congress To Repeal Law Of Gravity

Funny story written by Neil Levine

Saturday, 16 July 2005

image for Congress To Repeal Law Of Gravity
House Running Country On Wink And A Prayer

The Big Boys in Washington have proclaimed new laws of physics. What goes up does not have to come down and if they cannot make hay out of something, it does not exist.

Following this cynical, warped, screwed up and underhanded form of thinking, they are attempting to abolish the Law of Gravity declaring that trial balloons that go up are going to stay up. Permanently. And space shuttles will shuffle along to the beat of electronic space rhythms played on a Grand Celestial House Organ.

The leadership is quoted as saying they believe in the Magic of political legerdemain. "Now you see it and now you see it again. Unless you don't see anything. Then your mind is a blank and you are thinking of nothing much except good political science. Eureka. You have struck a political Silver mine."

"We can spin dross into gold. We just tell the people it is so and it becomes the way of the world. That is the Official Line. That is the New Physique. That is Politics. If we cannot pay the bills, whatever it is simply does not exist," these masterful politicos have decreed.

"When we pay for school lunches and senior brunches people eat well," they boast.

"When we pay for medicine to heal the sick, the lame and the dearly lamented, all is good with the world," they say.

"We run schools so kids can read," they claim, although there have been too many questions about why Johnny can't read to suit their politically mandated quotas.

"When we pay for space shuttles they are the best spacecraft in the universe. They dip. They flip. They loop the loop. They go double Dutch. They leave their launching pads, go up, come down and arrive on time. There are no problems in space that money cannot solve."

We have our hand in utilities, public service, foreign service, poor service, imports, exports, defense, offense, production, reduction, induction, conduction, deduction, media, media outlets, media empires, retirement, medicine, up and down the line. We are everywhere. We are the GOVERNMENT."

These Emperors wear so many layers of clothes that they find the Law of Gravity a weighty burden. Although it keeps people nailed to terra firma and the facts of life. It does not allow much room for slips, trips, misjudgments or wriggle room.

This is the New Millennium. The Space Age. The Age of Aquarius. Buck Rogers has been sent out to pasture and replaced with professional, highly trained, career astronauts with limitless experience in the vast mysteries of the Universe.

"This is Rocket Science," one Senior politician with his hand in the Space Program has been quoted as observing.

In short, Congress is saying that what goes up does not have to come down and they have the power to insure results.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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