Bernie Madoff Mad at Favorite Prison Recreation, Stupid Washington

Funny story written by Bureau

Monday, 17 March 2014


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After our reporters went to interview a couple of guys whose DNA proved them to be innocent of a sex crime after spending 12 years in jail, they were told that Bernie Madoff, the guy who stole millions off trusting clients, wanted to see them.

"Bernie looked a lot older but he had fire in his eyes."

He greeted us and then went right into a rant that while he, Bernie Madoff, was spending hard time in the clinker, the United States leaders were using the same methods that he did, to run the country.

"I admit that it was wrong but go look at the facts and see. They rob the people years from now to spend like crazy now. I have to admit, they're better at this than I am."

"Where did you get the shirt, Bernie?"

"What? I tell you how the government is screwing over all of our grandchildren with their spending ways and you ask me about my shirt?"

"Well, it does say 'Happiness Is A Tired Cellmate'."

Apparently someone gave all the prisoners one.

"OK! OK! Make your jokes. Wait till your kids and grandkids see what you have done to them and you'll see a lot more ex-politicians wearing the same shirts. With thongs!"

Not taking his sentence very well. You could just tell.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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