Bush: "Silver Tongued Clucker"

Funny story written by Chuck the Canuck

Wednesday, 13 April 2005

image for Bush: "Silver Tongued Clucker"
Bush Supreme "Silver Tongued Clucker" For 2004

Washington, DC-- President Bush is scheduled to travel to Geneva later in the week to receive the coveted "Chicken Little Award". This prestigious award is bestowed upon the world leader, politician, industrialist or bureaucrat who has proven himself to be the most adept at stirring up the populace on the basis of the most dubious evidence.

The "Silver Tongued Clucker", as it is known to media mavens world wide, is presented annually to the man ,woman, group or institution "Who most clearly demonstrates the ability to frighten, confuse, enrage, and/or misinform their audience, with the greatest of ease, while maintaining a straight face".

Upon the receipt of the up coming award, President Bush will be inducted into a distinguished group of previous winners. They include, the multi time institutional winner, the Holy Catholic Church for such memorable little campaigns as the inquisition and the quaint rustic witch trials of the middle ages.

Also included is, republican political bureaucrat Ken Star for convincing the American population that a cigar and a blue stained dress were more important than the economy, foreign policy or the growing terrorist threat.

More recent recipients include the televangelist the Reverend Jerry Falwell for his magnificent performance "Go Tela On A Tubby" in convincing members of his flock that Tinky Winky the tele-tubbie is gay and that he posed a grave and imminent threat to the immortal souls of their children.

Senator Joe McCarthy, best known for his colorful 1950's rants damning the loathsome, pinko, communist swine, is slated to pick up an honorary life time achievement award at this years "Cluck Off". He is to honored for his amazing ability to convince the population that informing on their moms, dads, brothers, and sisters was a good thing.

President Bush received the nod from a panel of internationally known pundits and pop culture critics for his brilliant creation of the mythical "Axis of Evil" and his ability to convince the world and Prime Minister Tony Blair that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Also cited was his ability to convince the "red staters" that he deserved another term in office because his opponent was a Godless, liberal, "Flip Flopper".

Panel insiders say that this years choice of Bush wasn't too much of a surprise. Albe Darnt the current committee chair was quoted as saying "Bush is a man who gives new meaning to the term "Sliver Tongued Clucker". He is almost single handedly responsible for convincing his people that Saddam and Ossama were one and the same person, that Iraqis and Saudis are interchangeable when attempting to place the blame for 9/11, that God wants him to be president and that broccoli is the vegetable of the damned".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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