Dog with dual pipe assemblage being studied closely at the Clinton residence

Written by joseph k winter

Saturday, 2 November 2013

image for Dog with dual pipe assemblage being studied closely at the Clinton residence
Recently Cerberus has been showing signs of insecurity with his sex life

A canine that fits the now famous jibe directed at President Obama from Mr. Clinton has finally been discovered.

Recent news indicates Mr. Clinton made the remark about Mr. Obama during last year's election campaign. Romney's fortunes were falling while the President continued to look good.

At this point Mr. Clinton commented on the President with, "He's luckier than a dog with two dicks."

This commentary is now even more exciting since this type of anatomically unusual canine has been found and acquired for study.

Named Cerberus, or more affectionately "Cerbie-baby," the hound is a mixture of Irish wolfhound and cocker spaniel. It is now housed in a special kennel unit at the former President's residence, with Mr. Clinton himself leading the research study team.

A spokesperson for Mr. Clinton has revealed the former president is somewhat baffled. The concept seemed so promising, according to this knowledgeable inside source.

Dual pipes should mean dual simultaneous partnering, but, to Mr. Clinton's disappointment, Cerberus seems only interested in one partnering at a time.

That is, a lucky dog with twice the action potential should also be getting twice the pleasure on any given coital occasion. Which, as Mr. Clinton's spokesperson pointed out in referencing the ex-president himself, has been "every man's dream."

Much time has been spent searching for the most appetizing possibilities for Cerberus who at times in his kennel quarters (which are sumptuous) is visited by as many as five or six young and virile females.

Mr. Clinton is rumored to be on hand observing gravely at these proceedings. On one of the most disappointing days Cerberus ignored the female visitors entirely. He yawned several times with eyes watering, and sprawled back on his haunches.

This sprawling posture, however, did excite the females who appeared to be lining up for observation of the anatomical peculiarity.

Researchers theorize that Cerberus has had too much of a good thing and become bored with even bothering to occupy even one of his appendages.

The search has been renewed for additional dual-pipe specimens--or even three systems--which could revitalize the project considerably.

At the notion of three, according to the spokesperson, Mr. Clinton's face paled and he clutched at his heart. An ambulance was summoned.

But he was soon back to normal. "Luckier than a dog with three dicks," he supposedly murmured. "An even better joke."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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