All British beer to dry up and all pubs to close by Michaelmas

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Tuesday, 9 May 2023

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You Can Still Get Some Pie ... but it's around back and the pie maker has dirty hands

On par with telling an American that their Second Amendment will be erased and all their guns taken away, the people of Britain will soon be up in arms this coming September when all beer production will stop and all pubs closed.

This is coming from Conservative MPs who are saying the reason Brexit has failed and why there are so many foreigners landing on Albion’s shores are due to beer.

Sounds like the 1920s in America all over again. But the Brits never had Prohibition, and it looks like the criminal element are getting thirsty. Phone calls have already been made to other beer-producing European nations.

Will the Brits accept smuggled beer from Belgium or Germany?

“Wha? Thass not Britash!”

How about wine?

“Thass French! We’s the beer, they’s the wine – cor blimey!”

So that’s a 'No'. There will be riots and bloodletting and bad haircuts and leeches, with some C of E git swaying a cross or a ball of smoke over everybody, thinking it’s the end of the world.

The Church has odds on it in Vegas. There will be more converts, thinking that if they believe in Jesus, then He’ll make water into beer.

“’Ee’s done it afore, ‘cept wiff wine. So’s beer should be easier, what?”

Get ready for September, Fair Britannia. Will you create your own Al Capone? Without pubs, what are you? Without guns, Americans are just … Canadians?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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