Marriage Spoof News

30 May 2023

Rapper Eminem changes name to M&M, Mars Candies Sues

DETROIT - Marshall Mathers III, aka dangerous notorious gangster rapper Enimem celebrated his re-re-RE-marriage to estranged wife Kimberly Mathers by formerly changing his name to "M&M" prompting the makers of the REAL bite sized ca...

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103 Reasons Not To Get Married!

"When you're single…" 1. You get the whole couch to yourself. 2. There's half as much housework, cooking, and cleaning to do. 3. You can watch whatever TV channel you like, without arguments. 4. You can get home from work at whatever time you like. 5. You get to eat the whole "meal for two" by yourself. 6. There are fewer important birthdays (spouse, kids, spouse's parents, etc)...

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The Real Reason Why Toni Tennille of The Captain and Tennille Filed For Divorce

PRESCOTT, Arizona - The rock duo of The Captain and Tennille was married for 39 years when Toni decided to file for a divorce. Fans of Daryl "Captain" Dragon and his wife (Toni Tennille) were shocked since the two seemed to be as close to each oth...

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George Clooney Secretly Marries Heidi Klum

Surprising even the most diligent of paparazzi and scab entertainment reporters alike, a recent announcement from Las Vegas tells of a secretive private wedding between movie box office sensation George Clooney and former super model turned cable tel...

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Matt Gaetz Ties The Knot – Or Rather Gets Married (To a Woman)

CATALINA ISLAND, California – (Satire News) – Matt Gaetz, 39, who has sex-trafficking issues up the yazoo, as they say in Yazoo City, Mississippi, has married 26-year-old Ginger Luckey. He promised the local news media that his new, blushing bride…

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Husband and Wife Of 20 Years Discover They Are Brother And Sister

Spokane WA: Bill and Millie Roth, married 20 years discovered today that they share the same father. The Roth's were having DNA tests to discover who was more compatible for their 18 year old son who needed a kidney transplant. The DNA results, w...

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Polygamist to replace same-sex couples in Ikea's next TV and print media ads

Childless, Single Women Are Satan’s Big Tools!

Nuns In US Safe From New Catholic Inquisition

Republicans to Outlaw Birth Control for Single Women

Cross dressers make the best husbands

Stunning Stat: 5 percent of Americans Virgins on Wedding Day

Lindsay Lohan Engaged

Stedman Graham Breaks Up With Oprah Winfrey Shocking The Talk Show Queen And Her BFF Gayle King

Oklahoma Cowgirl’s Wedding Goes Horribly Wrong As She's Thrown Off Her Horse

Joseph "Joe" Biden, Jr. and Ronald McDonald exchange vows

State Of California Bans Human/Animal Marriages (Except Horses)

Did Lily Allen Secretly Get Married?

Man Marries Right Hand

In a move that confuses and astounds those both for and against the hotly debated gay marriage issue, Peter Jerkinson married his own right hand earlier this morning in his hometown of Las Vegas, Nevada.

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Man With Two Knobs Seeks Second Marriage.

Dick Phillpot, the only man in the UK with two knobs wants the bigamy laws changed to enable him to marry a second time. "I'm too much for one woman. Doris tries her best but she gets knackered just as number 2 is waking up. If I could take a second...

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Susan Boyle Marries Her Lucky Dog

Modern Press: Finding a relationship during the pandemic can be stressful if not impossible, but for one resourceful woman it was a necessity to fulfill her needs for companionships. She married her long-time dog, Cujo Couzens, on her birthday, April…

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Can You Taste The Strychnine?

Hi, honey. I'm glad you stopped by. I've been thinking alot about what you said the other day about wanting a divorce, and I've finally calmed myself down enough to discuss this separation. And look! I've cooked us a lovely duck; your favorite! I took your advice, and after drinking myself into oblivion in the west wing of my mansion--sorry, our mansion for two weeks, I'm ready to "act li...

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South Philly Man Arrested For Marrying 23 Women

Philadelphia PA-- Anthony Romero was arrested today on bigamy charges. Prosecutors say he married at least 23 times, all of them women from his South Philadelphia neighborhood. All the women lived in the same modest blocks of row houses in the Italia...

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Lady Gaga excommunicated after becoming a priest

Lady Gaga has almost completed an on-line course to become a priest, capable of marrying homosexual couples at her concerts. As a devout Catholic, this has angered the Roman Catholic church in two regards. "First off," said bishop Lee Basher, a...

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Neighbors Threaten to Evict Happily Married Couple

Rob and Shirley DeLightly are being asked to tone down their loving relationship or vacate their home by angry neighbors who claim they can't take a minute more of the sickening displays of love the couple exhibit day in and day out. "It's not nat...

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Man with nanopenis consummates marriage

A 35 year old married man, formerly of Italy, now residing in Littledick, TX, has finally gotten his wife of 10 years pregnant, by proxy, after many, many attempts. The man's name, Canno Finda Mydicka, you see, was born with a "nanopenis" which c...

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Miss California taking it from both ends on Internet images

VISTA, CA - With her pink-panty clad, topless image recently appearing on the Internet, it would appear reigning Miss California Carrie Prejean, 21, has her hands full, getting plowed in the media, really taking a pounding from every side. Miss Pr...

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Egyptian Man Cuts Off His Penis For Deli

CAIRO -- An Egyptian man has cut off his own penis and presented it at his local delicatessen in order that they might pickle it for a take-away snack. Police say the man entered the local Subway restaurant and was told that they were out of cold...

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Woman marries tin of meat

Today a 55 year old grandmother from Kayk has married her favourite tin of meat today at a local branch of Aldi, to her amazement the tin in question said yes without hesitation. A tearful Marjorie Bagg said, “I feel overjoyed that I was able to…

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Ikea shares plummet as same-sex couples now expected to register at Wal-Mart, Kmart and the Piggly Wiggly

Los Angeles, California - As same-sex couple gain mainstream acceptance in society, companies like Ikea, which were among the first corporations to advocate homosexual rights by running TV and print media ads featuring a gay couple selecting furnitur...

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Man Marries Horse in Strange Wedding

A Texas man from Corpus Christi recently exchanged vows in a strange, twisted wedding. The man, William Leigh, married a Chestnut colored horse in a simple ceremony attended only by a few friends and co-workers.

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Cheating Prez candidate John Edwards proposes to mistress - tells kids they will all now be one, big happy family

And to think he could almost have become POTUS [President of the United States]. According to information gleaned from a 'highly-respectable' (sic) news source, former Presidential candidate and world's number one dirty rat fink John Edwards has app...

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