Nashville Man Does Wrong Thing In Nick of Time

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Sunday, 23 February 2020

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"We have only so many chances to do the wrong thing," noted Colin Carver, who recently made a very bad decision.

When he learned via Facebook that his toxic, narcissistic ex-girlfriend, Jessica Montbleau, was about to tie the knot with someone else, Colin Carver of Nashville, Tennessee, knew it was time for him to take swift, decisive action in order to salvage the worst relationship of his life.

"I showed up at the church, and when the minister asked if anyone could show just cause why this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, I stood up and said, 'Yeah - just 'cause I love her!'" said Colin. "It was a little melodramatic, but it did the trick."

Colin explained that he'd been prepared for the possibility that the minister might not pose that particular question to the wedding guests, in which case he'd have jumped up and shouted, "No!" just as Jessica was about to say, "I do."

After publicly declaring his objection to the marriage, reported Colin, he sprinted up the aisle, grabbed Jessica's hand, and the two of them ran out of the church together, laughing uncontrollably. They then retreated to Colin's house, where they had mad, passionate make-up sex until his roommate returned home from work.

Unfortunately, however, things quickly went south for the reunited couple after that. Immediately after their reconciliation, Jessica resumed her pattern of lying and manipulation, and Colin suspects that she is cheating on him with her former fiancé. In addition, he discovered that after a period of recovery, Jessica is back to abusing cocaine and prescription medications, but he says he could never, in good conscience, abandon her in such a vulnerable state.

"The honeymoon is over, so to speak," he said. "But what can you do?"

Still, despite the difficulties, Colin says that he feels good about doing what really never should have been done before it was too late. "Timing is everything," he noted. "We have only so many chances to do the wrong thing. I wasn't going to let this one pass me by."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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