Police close to catching The Ripper
London police have announced that they are close to catching Jack "the Ripper", a notorious serial killer who slew five prostitutes in the East End in the 1880s. Using new DNA analysis and forensic techniques, they have made progress in their hunt fo…
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London Bombings - Anti looking at people in a funny way Law Introduced
In the wake of the recent totally unsurprising bomb attacks on the London Transport system the British Government have introduced a raft of new measures designed to show that something is being done.
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Ozzy Osbourne - Prince of Darkness? Really!
Darkness, England - Buckingham Palace announced today that Her Majesty, The Queen, has sought to bestow the title of "The Prince of Darkness" upon Mr. Ozzy Osbourne. Darkness , a small town 45kilometers south of London, is delighted by the prospect...
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Brits Call for a Temporary Ban on Data Visualization Until We Can Figure Out What the Hell is Going On
(Oxford, UK) A recent graphic published by Danny Dorling from the University of Oxford, has everyone from the educated knobs to the sweaty wazzocks scratching their heads in bewilderment. Many here have called for a ban on data visualization, or “inf...
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London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve
London's astronomers are over the moon at the announcement that the London Borough of Ealing has been declared an International Dark-Sky Reserve. 'London is an international centre of excellence for numerous endeavours,' explained Mayor of London,...
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Charles names Royal Wedding A-List
Clarence House, London; Wednesday 23 March(Associated Mess) - Prince Charles's household has named a glittering array of Global Peace Process luminaries who will be officiating at his forthcoming nuptuals to Camilla Nosy Parker at Slough Cremato...
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Transport for London takes to the air, and gets up your nose!
Sodden Carnival makes Notting Hill Revellers proud to be British
Jack The Ripper Unmasked
Kate Gosselin Still Pines for British Man Who Ditched her for a Tart
Ex-Beauty Queen to be New James Bond
Veronica Perroncel To Fill In For The Vacationing Kay Burley On Afternoon News Live
Trump Family Takes Over London
McCartney takes over Cream reunion to grand applause
Night Mayor Scenario
Cyclists complain about new Oxford Circus X-Crossing
London Mayor Sadiq Khan demands that London should be part of the EU
Oxford to Introduce New English Word : Tetek
Bismarck sunk again
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Tragedy has struck once again in the hapless Von Bismarck family, whose eponymous luxury ocean-going yacht, leased to the Third Reich on cruise duties, met with disaster in the Mediterranean in 1941.
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London Cyclists Collaborate With Ministry Of Defence On Camouflage Design
'Camouflage is critical in giving our troops every advantage in battle,' Air Chief Marshal Sir Stuart Peach, Chief of the Defence Staff, told a London press conference this month. 'This is why we've worked extensively with London cyclists to enhance...
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NFL To Expand To 40 Teams By 2020
The National Football League has announced plans to expand to 40 teams by the beginning of the 2020 season. In a 40 team league, they would continue to have two conferences with four divisions each (increasing to five teams per division). When as...
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McCartney reveals Vinton was alter ego
LONDON -- In a shocking revelation made here, former Beatle Paul McCartney said that he is and always has really been Bobby Vinton.
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Prince William getting fat and going bald
London. (Spoof International News) Prince William, second in line to the British throne, has reportedly recently gained excessive weight, and has become very concerned about his accelerating hair loss.
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McCartney's Frog Chorus Fails to Spawn in Bizarre Pop Memorabilia Auction
Paul McCartney's hand written lyrics for "The Frog Chorus" have failed to sell at auction. They were tipped to fetch more than £3.00 when they were offered for sale in at a memorabilia sale in London yesterday. Sotheby's spokesman James Alexander...
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I'm a suicide bomber: get me out of here!
London - England. ITV have today announced ambitious plans for a brand new reality game show, to be screened in October. The show, which will re-locate to Afghanistan from the Australian jungle, will feature four or five b-list assassins - all c...
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McCartney offers new Beatles 'facts'
LONDON - Ex-Beatles member Paul McCartney said, "I tried heroin just once and didn't like it." McCartney repeated the statement a number of times in public before a few reporters heard him and decided to try to make some kind of news item about it.
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Lynton, Erskin and Inchcock. The Race Part four
Skoob gave C.J. a nudge in the back that sent him forward onto the unsuspecting commuter. "So sorry" said C.J as he squirted the milky substance on the back of the man's coat. Lifting his black pork pie hat, Skoob bade the poor man "Adieu" and started to run in the direction of away. Not far behind him, an out of breath C.J caught up. "You twit, I nearly sprayed myself" "Don't stand near...
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Tramps squat in squatter's squat. WHSmith thanked for helping to resolve the situation.
A gaggle of homeless people have taken over a squat that was previously occupied by new-age middle class hippies in an extraordinary turn of events that has left the owners astounded. Mr and Mrs Wangweather bought their four bedroom London house i...
Read full storyFunny London Headlines
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American Idol Shocking Revelation: Simon Cowell Confesses To Secret Crush on Latoya London
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London Bombings - Police to be Issued With Tickling Sticks
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Dragon Slain in England!
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Tube train arrives on time - driver suspended
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Big Ben To Bong For The Last Time
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"Have you got any oxygen?" - An actor working as a theatre usher in London's West End
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DNA Confirms Explosive Anal Suppository Had Traces of Shiite!
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Huge Demo in London
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Kindles ruined at the London Book Fair
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Ten Interesting Things You Didn't Know About Balham
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Arrest Warrant Out for Mick Jagger
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Quack doctor busted
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Blair's dermatologist gobsmacked by bungs arrest
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Elvis in Bermondsey
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Londoners hit by a second Blitz - of snow
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England Is Considering Renaming Piccadilly Square In Honor Of President Mandela
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The Potter Bank Opens in London
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Exploding fish art makes a big blast at a London art gallery
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Born To Spoof New Beginnings CH 4: Clone Ride To Oblivion
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Piers Morgan Says That President Trump Needs to Resign Before He Turns America Into Guatemala
