Ozzy Osbourne - Prince of Darkness? Really!
Darkness, England - Buckingham Palace announced today that Her Majesty, The Queen, has sought to bestow the title of "The Prince of Darkness" upon Mr. Ozzy Osbourne. Darkness , a small town 45kilometers south of London, is delighted by the prospect...
Read full story
London Bombings - Anti looking at people in a funny way Law Introduced
In the wake of the recent totally unsurprising bomb attacks on the London Transport system the British Government have introduced a raft of new measures designed to show that something is being done.
Read full story
Bismarck sunk again
London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Tragedy has struck once again in the hapless Von Bismarck family, whose eponymous luxury ocean-going yacht, leased to the Third Reich on cruise duties, met with disaster in the Mediterranean in 1941.
Read full story
Prince William getting fat and going bald
London. (Spoof International News) Prince William, second in line to the British throne, has reportedly recently gained excessive weight, and has become very concerned about his accelerating hair loss.
Read full story
Brits Call for a Temporary Ban on Data Visualization Until We Can Figure Out What the Hell is Going On
(Oxford, UK) A recent graphic published by Danny Dorling from the University of Oxford, has everyone from the educated knobs to the sweaty wazzocks scratching their heads in bewilderment. Many here have called for a ban on data visualization, or “inf...
Read full story
Dragon Slain in England!
LONDON - Yesterday afternoon was indeed an historic day for the residents of Bramptonshire, a remote village in southern Kent, which until very recently was burdened by the heavy shadow of a malicious and bloodthirsty leviathan of yore. For centurie...
Read full story
Ronnie Wood: The night I told George Harrison I was sleeping with Cliff Richard
London's Burning - Tottenham In Flames - Where's Boris And 'Do Nothing' Dave?
London Borough Of Ealing Declared International Dark-Sky Reserve
The Potter Bank Opens in London
JK Rowling admits stealing Potter stories
Northern Line at rush hour revealed as Dante's tenth circle of hell
The "World's Greatest Vagina"... up for Grabs
UFOs Over London - Government Denies Cover-Up
Britons Not Pleased with New Note
Old Lady Arrested Outside Bank
Madonna plans Kabbalah musical; Cruise counters with Scientology song
Cops seize Blair's passport as Cherie tans her cellulite
Worst Ever Case Of Tapeworm Found In South London
CROYDON, Saaf London (Defecated News) - Things in South London are grim. Murders, drugs, gangs, guncrime and smelly people generally. But now, it would appear, things have gotten worse, much worse, oh yes, I ain't kidding, just w...
Read full story
Oxford to Introduce New English Word : Tetek
LONDON - The Oxford University wlll introduce a new English word to the Oxford Dictionary which is termed as Tetek pronounced as te-tek or simply in its acronym T-Mode.
Read full story
P2 Lodge gathers for Hitler's daughter's 80th birthday bash
London, Tuesday 11 October 2005 (Rioters) - The Metropolitan Police has announced tough new security measures ahead of Thursday's 80th birthday celebrations in London for the nation's No 1 senile old terrorist-in-chief and scion of the Adolf...
Read full story
Veronica Perroncel To Fill In For The Vacationing Kay Burley On Afternoon News Live
LONDON - Vanessa Perroncel, one of the world's most famous lingerie models has agreed to fill in as Sky News Host while Kay Burley takes one weeks vacation. The 49-year-old Burley plans to take care of some personal matters involving some horses w...
Read full story
Euan Blair quarantined in London
London, Saturday 20 May 2006 - (Associated Mess): Tony Blair's eldest son Euan has left his Washington DC internship abruptly and returned back to London for a reported six months period of quarantine and convalescence after compulsory NHS anti-r...
Read full story
Police close to catching The Ripper
London police have announced that they are close to catching Jack "the Ripper", a notorious serial killer who slew five prostitutes in the East End in the 1880s. Using new DNA analysis and forensic techniques, they have made progress in their hunt fo…
Read full story
Breaking news…
Interested in writing your own spoof news stories like these?
Yes, tell me more!Seven day catch up
Check out anything you've missed with the archive:
Kate Gosselin Still Pines for British Man Who Ditched her for a Tart
It was the summer of 2010, and Kate Gosselin was at the peak of not only her reality show acting career but also the peak of her sexuality. Divorced since 2009, Gosselin was hot to trot, but looking for love in a small Pennsylvania town with cameras...
Read full story
Plan To Rename 2020 London Marathon
It's been run every year since 1981, and is one of the most popular 'public competitor' events in the world, but from next year, 2020, the London Marathon is to undergo a massive identity transplant - it will be known as the London Snickers. The n...
Read full story
Susan Boyle Boiling Mad Subdued By London Bobbies
LONDON - The odds-on favorite to win Britain's Got Talent 48-year-old Susan Boyle lost her temper and launched into a four-letter diatribe that makes Christian Bale's tongue-lashing tirade pale by comparison. It seems that Boyle was sitting in the...
Read full story
London Man Loses His Guinness and Will to Live
Spotted on the tattered roof of his upper flat in Dalston, Otto Franks, second generation German expatriate and local auto mechanic, reportedly a stable and friendly man by all neighbor accounts, had threatened to jump to his death after forgetting t...
Read full story
Ex-Beauty Queen to be New James Bond
Idris Elba has declined the role of a black James Bond as he considered it condescending to fellow blacks as well as the total misportrayal of the original character. Fleming's 007 was a MI6 spy proficient in languages and the martial arts; and a...
Read full story
The Lun Dun mayor: he wore an itsby-bitsy, teeny-weeny yellow bikini
Lun Dun, Eng Lund—Lun Duners, like other Britz, hate their mayor, Sad Ick Khan (no relation, as far as anyone knows, to either Genghis or Kubla), and, to show it, they took up a collection to protest his existence. More than 16 million people (twi...
Read full storyFunny London Headlines
-
McCartney offers new Beatles 'facts'
-
Janitor's Mop and Bucket awarded prestigious Turner Prize
-
London Couple Beats Antarctic Expedition to Pole
-
Elvis in Bermondsey
-
NFL To Expand To 40 Teams By 2020
-
London To Be Awarded NFL Franchise?
-
London Cyclists Collaborate With Ministry Of Defence On Camouflage Design
-
Sodden Carnival makes Notting Hill Revellers proud to be British
-
Dollis Hill Residents Branded ‘Garbage’, ‘Nazis’ & Now ‘Perverts’
-
Piers Morgan Says That President Trump Needs to Resign Before He Turns America Into Guatemala
-
TubeTrain in London Mashes South African
-
Queen in shock after Bush faux pas
-
Low-Down on the Don Ho American Idol Conspiracy
-
Madonna turns into Hasidic rabbi
-
A pianist keeps own counsel, and hopefully a staff of attorneys
-
British Airways pilot flippantly tells passengers they'll probably die
-
Quack doctor busted
-
Giant 3D Wonderbra Ad Causes Commuter Chaos At London Rail Terminal
-
Wolfie Smith Returns to Tooting in Balham Film Director's New Release
-
London police blame Jack The Ripper for Power Cut!
