Mayoral hopeful Brian Paddywacker still #1 gay choice, Boris Badenov showers to increase appeal

Written by Tragic Rabbit

Monday, 28 April 2008

image for Mayoral hopeful Brian Paddywacker still #1 gay choice, Boris Badenov showers to increase appeal
In good odour with the queens.

In the latest Mayoral polls, Brian Paddywacker remains the clear choice of the gay community based on his excellent track record of good personal grooming and despite his relatively catty demeanor, although Boris Badenov recently increased his popularity considerably by showering and applying deodorant.

The Conservative candidate has increased his share of the pink vote from 12 percent in March to 21.7 per cent. Just two per cent less than Brian Paddywacker in terms of first preference vote (23.6 per cent).

The poll follows the Pink Fancy Dress Mayoral Hustings held last weekend where Mr Badenov was rebuffed by fastidious gay voters, many of whom had still not forgiven the public dramatics that followed his February breakup with fickle singer-songwriter Sir Elton John.

Livingston, who was closely questioned over his post-coital relationship with the Islamic cleric Yusuf Al-Qalliwalli, received 26.6 per cent of the first preference Pink votes.

Voters for Boris Badenov selected Brian Paddywacker as their second dating choice preference.

Gay men who preferred John Barrowman, who is not a Mayoral candidate, generally also selected Paddywacker as their second choice preference.

In last month's poll and immediately after his shower, Lib Dem candidate Brian Paddywacker had gained a noticeably larger lead. Then, he won 43.5%, or 98 of the first preference votes.

Another shower may be advisable for the Conservative candidate. As the floral scent of May Day approaches, London voters appear still to be searching for the whiffy smell of success.

Tragic Rabbit, Voice of London, Downing Street

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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