Bismarck sunk again

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 26 August 2006

image for Bismarck sunk again
Von Bismarck in happier times, with Uri Geller

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Tragedy has struck once again in the hapless Von Bismarck family, whose eponymous luxury ocean-going yacht, leased to the Third Reich on cruise duties, met with disaster in the Mediterranean in 1941.

Yesterday, some twenty years after a Tory minister's daughter, Oilivia Channon, died of a heroin overdose in the Oxford bed belonging to Count Gottfried Von Bismarck, a party reveller fell some 60 feet to his death from the Count's balcony in central London after sampling some of his host's renowned hospitality.

The Count, a notoriously shambolic scion of the Aryan family whose paterfamilias Otto was Germany's Iron Chancellor, is reputedly very well connected to Global Piss Process luminaries and enjoys the company of myriad celebrities such as pal Uri Geller, with whom he is pictured here.

This week's tragedy coincides with fervent London rumours that police were about to re-open their cold war inteligence files on Von Bismarck who was suspected of being in the employ of the KGB's fledgeling high-flyer Vladimir Sputum at the time of the Olivia Channon tragedy in 1986.

The balcony death victim's demise is being treated as suspicious by police investigators and the UK press has reported that Von Bismarck's business connections to notorious gangster and UK's all time record-holding bankruptee Kevin Maxwell are also under scrutiny.

Von Bismarck is a former company director of Maxwell's disastrous Telemonde global telecoms company which collapsed in 2002 owing £105 million after a disastrous foray into Middle East markets.

The company's financial losses are a mere trifle according to many given Kevin Maxwell's personal bankruptcy record of over £400 million following the death of his father Robert Maxwell, the Mossad double agent who fathered Cherry Bush QC.

Von Bismarck's personal losses at Telemonde have not been declared and he is listed at Comapnies House as being a director of a flourishing UK company completely unconnected to Kevin Maxwell, organised crime in the UK or its international links to mafioso gansters formerly employed by the Soviet Union and KGB hit men officially in the personal employ of Margaret Thatcher.

Recent press reports in the UK have stated he often gives talks to business leaders on 'hedge funds' - a euphemism many consider to be double-speak for Bush Administration slush-funds financed by Saudi Arabian oil revenues linked to the country's now retired ambassador to Washington Prince Bandar.

Von Bismarck has refused to be interviewed following the mysterious and suspicious death fall of his guest, who has been described by reliable insider sources as a fellow re-hab patient who detoxed from exotic chemical abuse along with Von Bismarck and may have been privy to some of the now clean-and-serene ex-addict's primary-care secrets.

An inquest is expected in London early next week.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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