Funny story - Sinéad O'Connor Has Grown A Muslim Beard

Sinéad O'Connor Has Grown A Muslim Beard

Sinéad O'Connor, the Irish singer who recently renounced everything about herself, and then converted to Islam, has grown a Muslim-style beard. Beards amongst Muslim men are requisite, defining 'manliness', and are seen as imitating Muhammad, but...

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Funny story - Cardinal Pell To Be Held In Colditz Castle

Cardinal Pell To Be Held In Colditz Castle

Cardinal George Pell, the sex beast, has been sentenced to six years in prison for the sexual assaults he carried out on two 13-year-old choir boys in Melbourne in 1996, and will now be locked away so that he might reflect on the pain he caused his v...

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Funny story - Confessional autobiography of Priest reveals the quality of sins has declined

Confessional autobiography of Priest reveals the quality of sins has declined

Boston's Father Seamus O’Hodge recalls how listening to confessions used to be enjoyable and dangerous, but now they’re as edgy as an Obama confession on Oprah. At a Barnes and Noble book signing, promoting his new autobiography, ‘Sins aren’t what…

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Funny story - Struggling Catholic Church Lays Off Holy Spirit

Struggling Catholic Church Lays Off Holy Spirit

In the wake of continuing revelations regarding sexual abuse by priests and growing antipathy toward its pro-life/anti-choice stance on abortion, the struggling Catholic Church, unable to sustain a full staff, has laid off the Holy Spirit, long consi...

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Funny story - A Poem For Cardinal Pell

A Poem For Cardinal Pell

I, like many others, was outraged by the news that Cardinal Pell, the former Vatican treasurer, had been found guiilty in an Australian court of sexual offences against two boys in Melbourne in 1996. The court arrived at its verdict in December la...

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Funny story - Chocolate Jesus Offends Lactose Intolerant Catholics

Chocolate Jesus Offends Lactose Intolerant Catholics

A life-size milk chocolate Jesus on the cross is about to go on display in a New York Gallery offending...well, the people who are usually offended by this sort of thing.

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Funny story - A Catholic Church in Kalamazoo, Michigan Opens Up A Drive-Thru Confessional

A Catholic Church in Kalamazoo, Michigan Opens Up A Drive-Thru Confessional

KALAMAZOO, Michigan – Father Vicencio of the St. Gorgonzola Catholic Church has said that he will adhere to the no more than 10 people rule that has been implement by the government. Father Vic, known for his self-aggrandizing nature, expressed t...

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Funny story - Researchers Uncover 'Nazi Prayer'

Researchers Uncover 'Nazi Prayer'

Researchers from the Simon Wiesenthal Foundation have uncovered evidence of the religious heart of the Nazi regime, with the discovery of a redraft of the Lords Prayer written specifically for Adolf Hitler. The prayer, shown below, was discovered...

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Funny story - Roman Polanski: Real Reason for Arrest

Roman Polanski: Real Reason for Arrest

Zurich Chief Prosecutor, Bratwurst Zwiebel, has revealed the real reason for the arrest of film director Roman Polanski. He said that a woman reported to the Swiss police that an adult man had sex with her 13-year-old daughter Rosemary and that th...

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Funny story - A Squirrel Story That Will Grab You By The Nuts

A Squirrel Story That Will Grab You By The Nuts

BILLINGSGATE POST: This is a story that will grab you by the nuts. Everyone has their favorite squirrel story. It is said that there are 10 million squirrel stories in the Naked City. This is but one: This all took place in Beaver Crossing, Neb...

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Funny story - Oklahoma Lawmakers Keep Exorcism Legal

Oklahoma Lawmakers Keep Exorcism Legal

In a victory for religious libertarians, Oklahoma has passed the Family Religion And Re-Education Act, designed to keep exorcism, the casting out of demons, legal. Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern sponsored the legislation that protects family and...

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Funny story - Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel

Pope Admits Catholic Church Is Now Like Something Out Of A Marquis de Sade Novel

Pope Francis has admitted that there have been "grave errors" in the administration of affairs within the Catholic church down the years, and that, at times, things have resembled erotic scenarios and events such as the public might have read about i...

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Funny story - Satan Objects to Being Demonized by Catholic Church

Satan Objects to Being Demonized by Catholic Church

"I may not have the greatest reputation," said Satan, "but when my name is mentioned, do you immediately think 'pedophilia'? Of course not! And to think the Catholic Church is trying to demonize me." Hurt by its fateful decision to limit the Trini...

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Funny story - Pope Palpatine Benedict Resigns

Pope Palpatine Benedict Resigns

Catholics everywhere have been shocked by the resignation of Pope Benedict. The Catholic Church are saddened that Pope Benedict is resigning and are hurt by his lack of commitment. One lady was heard whining, "I've been a good Catholic and have been to Mass every week, regularly attended confession, and have cooked fish every Friday as well as popping out a baby every year for the last twenty...

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Funny story - Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Vatican to reboot bible in 2015

Catholics around the world have been screaming "blasphemy" all day after it was revealed that the Vatican will reboot the Bible next year and write a new "more modern" version if it for release in the summertime. The Vatican made the decision du...

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Funny story - Quintessences Vol. 1: On the Coronavirus

Quintessences Vol. 1: On the Coronavirus

Good evening. Having been instructed to produce a short treatise dealing with the Coronavirus scandal to which we are all currently subjected, I crave your attention while I marshal my thoughts. Let me expound, in response to this entreaty. Fav...

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Funny story - Liberal Church Going Catholics Wear Ironic Disguise

Liberal Church Going Catholics Wear Ironic Disguise

After the numerous shameful scandals and embarrassing acts of the Vatican and its minions, many wonder how it is the progressive people can still be attending the Roman Catholic liturgy. Pedophiles abound, Holocaust deniers are embraced and Jerry Fal...

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Funny story - Pope Announces Sweeping Reforms

Pope Announces Sweeping Reforms

The Vatican is introducing sweeping reforms to its liturgical practice. Mass, benediction and special services, from now on, will be all-ticket affairs. The "pensio" as the ticket is called can be bought online. Marketing director for the Vatican...

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Funny story - Cardinals Reveal "Morgan Freeman Was Our Second Choice"

Cardinals Reveal "Morgan Freeman Was Our Second Choice"

The 115 Cardinals who selected Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina to be the next pope announced today that actor Morgan Freeman was their second choice even though Freeman isn't a Catholic. "Si, Si, that's true," said Italian Cardinal Arsenio De...

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Funny story - Dead Sea Squirrels Found in a Cave Near the West Bank

Dead Sea Squirrels Found in a Cave Near the West Bank

WEST BANK-A number of Dead Sea Squirrels, found in one of the Qumran Caves in a large plateau near the West Bank, have stunned archeologists at the nearby Qumran National Park who are investigating them. The Dead Sea Squirrels, six of them sta...

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